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A Dogs Letter To Santa Claws

Dear Santa Claws, for Christmas I’d like a new chew bone; I’ve been a real good dog this year; I don’t even bite the cat, Sheba, when she attacks my head, as I sleep and that’s not easy to do since Sheba has put a lot of holes in my head. I’d also like some medicine for it. Please bring me a new bed too, as mine reeks of cat urine; Sheba peed on it 5 times last week, while Mommy and me were at the park. As far as cats go, Sheba is OK but, I wish she’d stop eating all of my treats. Please bring her some of her own. Oh and one of those catnip mice she’s so crazy about, it puts her to sleep for a long time and that’ll give me a chance to play with my own toys, for a change. Mommy could use a new winter scarf too; Sheba keeps shredding’em with her claws; she really hates anything that has fringe. It gets really ugly to watch. It’s a good thing that I’m such a good dog; otherwise I’d bite Sheba in half when she destroys things…(Does she know how lucky she is…I doubt it.) If it’s not asking too much, can I also get a new bag of jerky treats? Also one of those neat colored rope bone toys? I love the way the ends tickle my nose when I play with it. The one you bought last year; Sheba tore it up, mistaking the stringy ends for Mommy’s scarf fringe. You can have my last jerky treat when you come, if you want. That is, if Sheba hasn’t eaten it yet. You can also have some of my water if you’re thirsty but, please be careful not to, leave your face fur in it. Last year I almost choked to death on a piece of it. If you’d like, you can have my last pig ear too. I know all of that work in one night probably gives you a powerful appetite. (Sheba hates pig ears so I doubt she’ll mess with it.) Thanks Santa. Sincerely, Butch, The Dog PS: Be careful flying Santa, there’s some new creature out flying around; his name is “Drone” and he drinks, I think ‘cause he fell last weekend and just missed my head.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




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Date: 12/10/2018 7:51:00 PM
I love the imagination thrown hither and yon when you were writing this one, Butch. Nice job, and thanks for the chewy treat! Love, Santa
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M. L. Kiser
Date: 12/12/2018 4:44:00 AM
Well, Santa is a man of many tastes...who knows? Perhaps pig ears are tasty?
Date: 12/8/2018 8:38:00 AM
I adore this! I was hooked after the first line! This must be based on your pets! It felt so raw! Excellent!
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M. L. Kiser
Date: 12/10/2018 7:12:00 AM
Actually past and present pets. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks.
Date: 12/7/2018 6:11:00 AM
Poor Butch... sounds like Sheba rules the house! I had to laugh & groan at the same time over the proffered pig ear (Yuck!!)... although I realize how generous this was of him, as dogs LOVE those disgusting things! Great write, love it!! ;D
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M. L. Kiser
Date: 12/7/2018 7:16:00 AM
Oh Rhona, cats own the house and everything in it, including the people and dogs. They make and enforce the rules for the first few years of their lives and train everyone. Once they get a little age on; it's so much nicer...they sleep more than rule. Butch does get a bit desperate but, he has good reason to. Thanks for stopping by to read and comment.
Date: 12/7/2018 5:44:00 AM
Delightfully humorous and so tenderly written dearest, MLK! I hope he gets what he has asked for! Haha!
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M. L. Kiser
Date: 12/7/2018 7:13:00 AM
Me too, I loved that scarf! Thanks Demetrios.
Date: 12/7/2018 2:15:00 AM
I found this to be so creative and charming M.L. I loved it! : )
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M. L. Kiser
Date: 12/7/2018 5:11:00 AM
Good and thank you.
Date: 12/6/2018 8:41:00 AM
I'm laughing even more now at the tit for tat humour with the dog and cat, am sure santa paws would be charmed to receive such letters lol:-) hugs Jan xx
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M. L. Kiser
Date: 12/7/2018 5:12:00 AM
Glad you got a good laugh, Jan. Thanks.
Date: 12/6/2018 8:18:00 AM
OMG, this is such great fun M.L., I thoroughly enjoyed it and I'm sure that Santa will too!!! Happy Thursday xxoo
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M. L. Kiser
Date: 12/6/2018 9:01:00 AM
Thanks Mike, I'm glad that you enjoyed it; Happy Thursday to you, as well.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/6/2018 8:41:00 AM
Read the cat poem too lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/6/2018 6:14:00 AM
Awesome write..I enjoyed reading your sweet poem. You spoke for them so eloquently, M.L.K
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M. L. Kiser
Date: 12/6/2018 6:23:00 AM
Thank you, Vijay; Glad you enjoyed it.