The Battle of the Toilet Is Won
That’s it the battle is won, the toilet can fight no more
Three weeks ago the flush would overflow.
And kept leaving a puddle on the floor
I looked in the book, it said I needed a spare part
I went to the merchant; “we have none, don’t lose heart?”
I can send you somewhere, and they do have a spare.
So I went armed with lots of new knowledge and credit card
The merchant looked at my list and gave me the part,
I took it striaght home and started the job, it was hard
Then found the part was too short for a start.
I rang them and told what was wrong
Don’t worry come on back,
We do have an extension pack
So I drove the ten miles still full of enthusiasm and song.
I need a spanner for this, mine does not fit
“Don’t worry we have just what you need
Some PVA tape, a washer or two
And then it won’t leak when you’ve peed.”
I turned off the water, I thought that I oughta
Everywhere went dry but the toilet.
So with some intervention, I put on the extension.
But still the floor kept getting wet.
After managing to fit a new isolator
My husband was pleased “how did you do that?”
I said it's a pipe and a nut, not an electricl generator.
It was easy, I said wearing my know- it-all hat.
I twisted and turned, and I taped every joint
I fitted the valve in the top of the cistern.
I turned the water back on and it worked a treat
The arm moved up and down like a piston
The water stopped when it should, and did not overflow
I was happy and yet my feet suddenly got wet
The nuts and pipes still had fight left in them
I sighed gave another turn, it was tight and difficult and yet
I stuck my head under, turned the spanner, one more turn
The book was ok, but it’s doing the job I did learn
One more turn is one turn too much.
It split the washer and pipe, I knew it was tight
When it screeched like a banshee or some such.
The water came out, but the isolator did the trick
Its a good job I had fitted it on
I gave it a turn and the water stopped in a tick
I t was then that I knew I had won
I was upset it was a bummer
But I went and got a plumber
Now I am queen of the toilet I have won.
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