Long Oprah Poems

Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

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Limericks I - Relatives and Relativity

The Cosmological Constant
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
said E equals MC squared.
Thus all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!


A$$-tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Relativity, the theorists’ creed,
says mass increases...

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The Mirror

When I look in the mirror I don’t see me, I see who I used to be.  A little lost girl that was so abused and so misused, so ashamed of who she...

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You're so far away from me and I suck trying to go slow when I know
I wanna snatch you up, bail you out, and take us to our new home
It's hard when I'm alone in...

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Mindfulness. . . what know I of mindfulness?
My mind is full of many things,
but unfortunately for me, that is not the meaning of mindfulness!

So, am I mindful at all?? I hear this type of thing...

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June 2, 2014 at 7:26pm

 Too much testosterone in our Bologna

too much testosterone-e in our baloney

killed the dignity of our femininity.

Stepped out of my character onto front

lines, armed with cocktails, rocks, and lighters

Mothers, warriors, and...

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Thirty Eight ( Corny Cancer Poem) For Sharon

Hallmark has a million cards in their catalog
And not one of them says,
Life Sucks
American greetings had nothing that says
Thirty-eight and  Never coming home
So I hope it’s not...

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TRUMP POEMS AND EPIGRAMS I

These days Trump's fraudian slip is always showing. — Michael R. Burch aka “the Loyal Opposition”

Trump seems to prefer demon-crazy to democracy.— Michael R. Burch

Under Trump American democracy is going the...

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Women are the womb 
And the backbone of society 
So in this women's season
We celebrate how we came to be 

When I look back in history at the many women 
Who have come and gone...

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There is one thing that you must do before you exit this life and planet earth! People plan out every aspect of their lives but they still miss the mark! Yes seniors are told to...

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There are many casual progressive left wing Christians in the world today! Who still honestly believe that they are saved! When they are blind guides leading other blind guides Hosea 4:6! 

There is only one...

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By Elton Camp

North on Highway Forty-Three 
Up into the state of Tennessee

Ethridge is the name of the place
A colony of the Amish embrace

Wide gravel lanes to the side
Is where the buggies can ride

Out of the...

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As I strolled through the street one day,
The oddest sight caught my eyes,
A man, only wearing rags,
But very wise,
Spoke words of knowledge, inspiration and advice,
How to care, how to share,
And just how to be nice,
To...

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Ode to Taylor Swift and the Car Park Incident

Today I saw the most ridiculous thing 
Taylor Swift existing backwards from a car park 
So she wouldn’t be seen 
On her un-best side that is
Does she...

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Juneteenth

On this day in 1865 was the day 
That the slaves were freed 
It was out to an end 
And our lives sort of 
Started to begin 
Begin to make sense 
We became more 
Than...

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She writes like Maya
She sings like Aretha
She dreams like Coretta
She reads like Oprah
She speaks like Barbara
She plays like Serena
She rocks like Tina
She rolls like Donna
She entertains like Diana
She cures like Maria
She paints like Edmonia
She kicks...

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I walked down the stage with moisture in my faces and a subtle smile on which everyone could rely. I held on to the uncompromising truth that could not be denied from my youth. ...

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With apologies to Sir W.S. Gilbert

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list--I've got a little list.
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would...

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they've been moments in life when you've felt that you were at your wits end
be it spiritually, financially or physically be it in a relationship with family or friends
tired of whenever you've been blessed the...

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It`s always inspiring to be strong in appearance,
Brave to catch up the essentiality of the sun.
How marvelous the wind blows to beat the sensations as one.
Yes, the pride is deep for BLACK skin to have...

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Octobar 12

Dear Oprah,
I know that every day you get a million letters. From people doing good. People
doing bad and people doing better. And I know Miss Oprah, that out them million letters,
maybe you read only...

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I have stories in my heart I want to tell 
Some of people in paradise and others in hell
I know all the characters in my stories well
Some perish, while some are saved by the bell
The...

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"Sappy Daze"- the Fonz gets a job in a Vermont maple syrup factory and faints 
from the fumes.

"Fiends"- The gang decides to desecrate a cemetery.

"The Tyro Banks Show"- newly formed banks struggle against the established...

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Come join the three for another cheap, meaningless day in their lives
They consider themselves to be hip, part of the same sex marriage, Burly the 
husband, Flo and Mary the wives
Their day always starts at...

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Our voices linger on this line desperate to stay together
Sending requests to our nervous systems for any information we can gather
We hold relationships accountable for not practising this method
They tap our line hoping to record...

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