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Limericks I - Relatives and Relativity

Limericks I - Relatives and Relativity The Cosmological Constant by Michael R. Burch Einstein, the frizzy-haired, said E equals MC squared. Thus all mass decreases as activity ceases? Not my mass, my a$$ declared! ### A$$-tronomical by Michael R. Burch Relativity, the theorists’ creed, says mass increases with speed. My (m)a$$ grows when I sit it. Mr. Einstein, get with it; equate its deflation, I plead! ### Relative to Whom? by Michael R. Burch Einstein’s theory, incredibly silly, says a relative grows willy-nilly at speeds close to light. Well, his relatives might, but mine grow their (m)a$$es more stilly! ### Time Out! by Michael R. Burch Hawking’s "Brief History of Time" is such a relief! How sublime that time, in reverse, may un-write this verse and un-spend my last thin dime! ### Time Back In! by Michael R. Burch Hawking, who makes my head spin, says time may flow backward. I grin, imagining the surprise in my mother's eyes when I head for the womb once again! ### Keywords/Tags: limerick, nonsense, light verse, humor, humorous, science, theoretical, physics, relativity, relatives, family, time, space

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

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