Honey cured lightly rubbed
Herbs and brown sugar glaze
Halo pineapple rings
Harmony of flavor
Heavenly succulent
Hold, hint subtle sweetness
Holiday honey taste
I saw a turkey circling, high above Manhattan
his bronze and copper feathers ripped in the sun,
and it looked like it was having an awful lot of fun.
He looked proud, in those clouds—majestic and delicious,
I could picture him sprawled out, on our Thanksgiving dishes.
Then I thought, chastisingly, “Wow, in a way, that’s kind of vicious.”
I opened the glass doors—we were sitting on the sky-high terrace.
I thought I’d better check—so I wouldn’t later be embarrassed.
I called Karen (Lisa’s Mom), “You already got a turkey to prepare us?”
She was hand making apple and cherry pies, lining crust in the pans
“You bet!” She called, “One's dressed-up—and a honey-baked ham!”
Closing the door, I yelled, through cupped hands, “Fly on Turkey—DO NOT LAND!”
.
.
A song for this:
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year - Shrift remix by Andy Williams and Shrift
.
.
Here's a Christmas playlist: daweb.us/xmas/Christmas_34.mp3
A brown sugar glazed ham every holiday dinner planned
Christmas and Easter and New Year tradition
beside that turkey with Thanksgiving cheers
those holiday feast with family we remember dear
Crowned with pineapple rings attached by cloves
the smell in the oven baking tempts your nose
Display on the dinning table center stage
sweet meat candy the holiday rage
Sliced thin so more to go around
Happiness the taste of the holidays profound
Holiday baked ham and sweet potato pie
french green beans and cornbread muffins stacked high
mashed potatoes with plenty of gravy
mac and cheese and don't say maybe
So many foods and treats but that baked ham we love to eat
With bone or without, spiraled or whole there is no doubt
a favorite for the seasons and your tummy full
when first out of the oven the smell makes you drool.
It was the night before Christmas, and I couldn't sleep,
I got out of bed without so much as a peep.
And headed to the kitchen for something to eat,
buck naked, except for the slippers on my feet.
I didn't dare turn on the nightlight and wake my wife,
for the last time I did that, she threatened my life.
The house was dead quiet; I could not hear a sound
as I ventured downstairs, feeling my way around.
I got to the living room, stumbling a few times,
then I heard music that sounded like Christmas chimes.
So, I went to the window and pulled back the drapes,
thinking the neighbors were playing some Christmas tapes.
I forgot I was as naked as a jaybird;
till I heard the loudest scream I had ever heard.
The church quire was midnight-caroling on my lawn,
and in plain view, I stood bare-assed, not a stitch on.
Judging by the faces I saw scrambling to leave,
I don't think they'll ever forget this Christmas Eve.
It was never my intent to flash anyone,
I simply wanted a ham and cheese on a bun.
"green eggs and vegan ham"
that chat is
not a chatte
but
why's that
cat doing
that
with
that
hat
Some people say a man is made out of ham
I say he's made out of mussel and clam
Mussel and clam, oyster and crab,
Spread like a feast on a mortician's slab.
You eat way too much, what do you get
Another pound fatter all sweaty and wet
Tell Peter not to bake me no pumpkin pie
One more bite and I'm likely to die.
Tom flew down to Turkey to play
But found at the end of the day
Putin had to gobble
So there was a squabble
Hence the Marmite-Putin soufflé
Lantana, Lantana! It’s that time of year.
Old winter is waning, and springtime is near.
Lantana, Lantana! It’s that time, you know.
I must cut you back now before you can grow.
You fight and resist me and scratch at my skin.
But if you will bear with me, we’re both going to win.
It feels just like murder to cut to the roots,
But soon you’ll be growing and sprouting fresh shoots.
They say that it’s hunger that makes the best sauce,
And gains are more certain right after a loss.
See, I’m getting hungry; I won’t pull your leg,
Seems I’ve got a craving for your ham and eggs!
The hummingbirds love you, the butterflies swarm;
They come for that nectar delicious and warm.
I hope you won’t hate me or wail or lament,
‘Cuz before you know it, we’ll bask in that scent.
It’s all for God’s glory, it’s all for his sake.
Yes, springtime is coming; there’s breakfast to make!
From A Pig's perspective......
I'll be ham for Christmas...........
You can plan on me!
Where Nana's hosting.....
And great food is roasting!
Well....I can think of a better place to be!!
Soon you'll gather 'round the table!
And say....It all taste's heavenly!
Yes...I'll be ham for Christmas!!
So you can be a PIG!!
FOR ME!!!!
By Chuck Melugin
All rights reserved
There's a certain cunning ham named Tom
Who once crafted limericks with aplomb
Lately, no funny new lims
Has Tom's funny bone dimmed -- NO
His computer's been infected with ROM!
The Church of Four Hundred Rabbits*
Needs Vows of Silence from blab-its
The Altar wine
Is so divine
That monks and priests probe loose habits
*Prior to Lockdown, Nottingham's
400 Rabbits Tequila Bar
A blood-thirsty God wants your son
And you fear God's will must be done?
You heard God's spiel
Now make a deal!
Remember God wants to have fun!
It Made Me Think of You
David J Walker
Something
I don’t know what
Reminded me
You are not here
Perhaps it was the pot
On the stove
Like the one you used to
Soak the beans in
Overnight
Before simmering them
All-day
With a ham bone
Shedding its meat
Spreading it flavor
It makes me think of
The savor of
Warm cornbread
Made from scratch
It makes me think of a
Butter and a
Batch of biscuits
Which leads me to
The wild plum jam
Canned last summer
And the day we spent
Picking tomatoes as ripe
As August
And the next week
School started
And everyone looked
Brand new
Something,
I don’t know what
Made me think of you
There is a very cunning ham named Tom
Pens side-splitting limericks with aplomb
When Soupers are down
Tom removes their frowns
And their funny bones explode like a bomb
We love you, Tom!
CV-19
CV-19
I do not like CV-19!
I do not like it in the air
I do not like it in my hair
I do not like it anywhere
I do not like it when you sneeze
I do not like it when you wheeze
I do not like this dread disease
I do not like it on green peas
I do not like it with cream cheese
I do not like it on fruit trees
So, take it away
Remove it fast
This awful plague just must not last
O, Lord please make it a thing of the past
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