Ham and Cheese On a Bun
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'Twas the night before Christmas, and I could not sleep,
so I left my bed without so much as a peep.
And headed to the kitchen for something to eat,
buck naked, except for the slippers on my feet.
I didn't dare turn on any lights and wake my wife;
for the last time I did that, she threatened my life.
The house was deathly quiet; I couldn't hear a sound
as I ventured downstairs, feeling my way around.
I got to the living room, stumbling a few times;
when I heard music that sounded like Christmas chimes.
So, I went to the window and pulled back the drapes,
thinking perhaps the neighbors were playing some tapes.
I forgot I was as naked as a jaybird;
until I heard the loudest scream, I'd ever heard.
The church quire was midnight caroling on my lawn,
and in plain view, I stood bare-assed, not a stitch on.
I don't think they'll ever forget this Christmas Eve,
judging by the faces, I saw scrambling to leave.
It was never my intent to flash anyone,
all I wanted was a ham and cheese on a bun.
Copyright © Emile Pinet | Year Posted 2022
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