Many people think depression is just long term sadness.
"It's just a phase that will be over soon"
They don't know how actions affect people
Anxiety and Depression are a deadly combination.
A deadly concoction of fear that feeds into sadness
Diminishing all hope.
The Anxiety claws at your throat, The Depression brings tears.
So please, for gods sake don't ask someone who is clearly depressed to just "Be happy"
The feeling of doubt is when you have emptiness in your heart
Your thoughts when your brain won't function the sadness and depression is consuming the darkness from the inside out
It's when that someone who you loved so much just left and you don't know why
The only thought that comes to your mind is it’s my fault
I’m the reason he left cause, I'm such a screw up and a mess that he doesn't want me
His own blood, His own family just like that gone I keep wanting to talk to him but if I let him back in all the memories flow In and disappointment comes
The times he made excuses why he couldn't see you and you want him so bad to be the father you’ve always wanted
For him To be the person to walk you down the isle but he hasn't been there not for achievements, dances, high school experiences, birthdays, and holidays.
You know you have to forgive him for what he has done for gods sake but does he deserve that
A parent who abandoned his only daughter
You have Brokenness because of him the deepness of my pain breaks me every time you try to be happy
You try to forget him but it's hard to forget that your own father is absentee .
The damn thing's got too many holes,
I’m also missing several poles.
Instructions I simply cannot read.
This confounded thing's about to breed!
Pieces covering every inch of floor
I can no longer walk on as before,
and almost fifteen thousand bolts
I demand to know whose fault!
For gods sake this piece is upside down
so I stare at it with such a frown
because now I have to disassemble,
in hope, next time, it might resemble.
Five hours have gone and still the bits
stare back at me, I have a fit!
I swear and curse in a contortion
as this things all out of proportion!
You need six hands and several feet
or else this puzzle's has got you beat!
I fear that I might die before
these bits have gone from off my floor!
It says G6 to seven, then F2 to three
apparently using screws A, B and C,
from now on I'll just have to guess,
it's easier to beat Kasparov at chess!
Eventually I build this piece,
seemingly it’s for my niece!
My wife tells me it should be blue,
I reply ‘over to you!'
How do i break the hate for Gods sake.
How do i escape the coil of the snake.
Life is not real death is my fate.
Body's cold it's starting to shake.
Soul is broken it's filled with hate.
Watching thru the eyes of someones hell.
Wishing my soul wasn't for sale
Living my life under a spell.
Speaking softly when I want to yell!
Feeling the world go round and round.
Chasing that special evil sound.
Me and nothing are pound for pound.
Having a fear of evil clowns.
Watching my loved ones disappear.
Trying to not shed a tear.
The power is pulling its almost here.
The wheels are broken im trying to steer.
The shadow is coming im full of fear.
How do i break the hate for gods sake
How do i escape the coil of the snake
Watching the dirt disentagrate
Human flesh evaporate
A simple sin is all it takes
Blood runs cold theres no mistakes
Adam said we have another baby to make
whereas Eve said she had a headache
he didn't give up
although she said enough
Adamant he said it was for Gods sake!
9-12-17
Oh Mr rain your such a pain
Is it god crying with laughter or pain
Lead leaden skies heavy with rain
It's no good complaining just because its raining
I really cant contain my disdain for this rain
For gods sake this is life giving rain, don't profane, its just rain !
Please can you restrain your hatred of rain
Its not if its a hurricane , Its just rain !
My hatred of raining is very straining
Its not entertaining if it starts raining
This poem now ending as its stopped raining
And I'm off to do some gardening instead .
going insane just hearing your name
emotionally drained feeling detained
raging pain deep within my brain
nothing can block you out
no amount of drink or drug
no amount of sex or a new Love
U were sneaky yes you were
you worked ur way in oh so deep
with ur slow and steady creep
I gave u my all my everything
more then ive given anybody
You left me high and dry like I was nothing
left me there to cry wanting to die
my days go by slow im ever so weak
because ur memory just cant escape me
going insane just hearing ur name
I lose myself more n more each passing day
when u left u took with u all of me
emotionally drained feeling detained raging pain deep within my brain
I hate ur name I want it to dissipate
I want it out of my vein out of my brain
god I just want you to go away
Give me back me and keep you
help me find a way to undo this glue
I cant keep on I can't keep going
do something say something For GODS sake help me forget u.
I am so drained and Im going insane
so ready for the pain deep within my brain to just go away
If history was food part 2
For Gods' sake
The Lord shall pass
Right through you///
And cause your Spirit
To shutter...
-----
Endow you path with
Knowledge and righteousness
And gently reap thy Soul
Through and through
With conviction....
- Let -
His love carry you
Gary Fields
your friend in the pen
Doing what you want like u
some kinda star?
Idk who you think you are!
telling me that I'm not allowed
Does makin me cry make you
feel proud?
Why you out wit ya girls just
livin it up
I'm stuck at home feelin down
on my luck
Thinking of everything that you
might be doin
Where the eff you at? who u
might be screwin?
So I try to call to ease my mind
But You hit ignore n think it's
FINE?
I hope u don't think that love is
a game
It's a beautiful painting locked
away in a frame
something that you probably
should admire
But you pull out ya lighter and
set it on fire
Making me blaze and burning
my heart
Our love is a sweet work of art
It's 2 hungry dogs fighting for
the last piece of steak
Its pain and suffering lets talk
for gods sake!
Endless thoughts with a numb brain seem so easy
Can't have another,
Not being lazy,
With her being there
I try to turn my back
And walk away
Mix my self in the coming haze
Disappear in a way
A long way to make
Let me go
For gods sake
Crippled but want no support
walking alone
I wish I don't have a clone
"Letting go"
Is not a part to be executed
I just turned my back
But
Never said a "NO"
I love you
And that's how it is
Three words being so simple
Its up to you
Please accept me as crippled
Because a thought of You turns me on
Closing my eyes
a touch of you then,
Warms my breath
Sweeten my lips
Palpitating then,
"she's here" he trys to give me tips
I love to palpitate
Never that slow nor to late
My heart just trys to take your name...It just trys to yell your name
With each beat
It trys to be neat
Just trying to take your name
Weigh in
Weigh to go
Best weigh to do this
Weight to the midnight hour
Is there a better weigh
Weight just a moment
She was described this weigh
Weighter in a diner
The only weigh to escape pain
Weighward
Proper weigh to do this
Students learn in many weighs to do things
Step on the scale and way yourself for GODS sake.
It’s the wife; we’ve not spoken for ages
For a while now she’s not moved her lips
But her diet it seems to be working
You can tell by the size of her hips
Ask, if you can, what’s upset her
Was it something I did or forgot?
She sits there and stares at the ceiling
And she hasn’t been eating a lot
See if she wants to go shopping
The food I’ve been eating is junk
Tell her she needs a good shower
She’s beginning to smell like a skunk
Find out where all my clean socks are
I haven’t changed these for a while
Try if you can to get answers
And for gods’ sake please get her to smile
Let her know that we’ve got no clean dishes
And the dogs made a mess of our bed
What do you mean you can’t wake her
You’re not telling me that she’s dead
Who’s going to cook me my dinners
Who’s going to clean for me now
I’m sure that she’s done this on purpose
The nasty vindictive old cow
The rain is still coming down today
For gods sake! Will it ever
stop?
I’m sick to death of looming gray clouds
That are exuding their drizzling
drops.
For Pete’s sake! Get it over with
I’ve had about as much as I can
stand
Let me get back to my old self again
And out of this soggy
Wetland.
This slow moving low and me below
Make for one miserable
dude.
If it doesn’t stop soon this mini monsoon
I’ll be lethargic all day and just
Brood
I pray to sweet Jesus the rain will soon end
But the weatherman says rain all weekend.