Skunk or a deer -
what was the varmint?
'Cuz Noah's buck naked,
without any garment! (Gen 9:21)
----------
In response to Drunk as a Skunk by Gershon Wolf
Noah, ‘a righteous man
pure in his generations’ (Genesis 6:9)
spent a year in the Ark
‘til on Mt. Ararat it parked
When he emerged
he got drunk as a skunk
Which just goes to show
it’s a whole bunch of bunk
That to be righteous and pure
ya gotta live like a monk
I once met a man who claimed he was sober
At a beer drinking party, late October
He was as drunk as a skunk
He fell down and yelled- Ca 'plunk!
Thought it best I called him an Ober
i don't mean to come hard, but that's my dog, last night-drunk as a skunk at the local bar, they hollered, let's take him home he live right down the street..um like oh no yawl, where's my dog, at the house my dog is looking at me like, take yo drunk self to bed . that morning i am awakened by a loud woof-woof at my door and a loud ka-plunk of his dog pan dropping on the floor and i know what this is for.. i want some mo sleep, but that's mah dawg yawl.
Why do we say someone is “drunk as a skunk?”
In truth, has anyone ever seen a skunk drunk?
Written August 9, 2022
In a average lifetime, humans usually eat
About sixty thousand pounds of food
That's equal to the weight of six elephants
But the elephants have to be nude
Half of all Americans over fifty
No longer possess their own choppers
Be careful if you get into a fight with one
They'll gum you to death right proper
World's shortest man was only 21 inches
Had to have his tuxedo specially made
Wives want more sex reading love stories
Husbands have it made in the shade
There's lots of howling in India at night
Law says you can marry your dog
Once the U.S. issued a 5 cent bill
Vending machines got all clogged
Babies are often dropped on their head
More serious than colic by far
Males sweat more than ladies when caught
With their hands in the cookie jar
It has been estimated that at any one time
0.7 % of the world is drunk
Actually thought it'd be a whole lot higher
My in-law is always drunk as a skunk
The average person walks the equivalent
Of twice round the world afore they're done
No wonder I don't feel like I get enough sleep
But I'm probably not the only one!
The wife was as drunk as a skunk
When she bumped into a young punk
Before he knew it
She simply blew it
Is that what they call a "Slam Dunk"?
I sat down and ordered a drink
She walked in dressed in pink
As I looked over I gave her a wink
Little did I know I was laying on the floor
Drunk as a skunk now seeing a monk
Pink elephants I did see
Boy, I sure had to pee
I lifted myself up from the floor
Next thing I knew they were,
Escorting me out the door
Contest: Craziest Time At
Sponsored by: Caren Krustinger
Date Created: 08/18/2020
64 words, I think I had to count them in my head
Drink to the rain falling down
Drink to the tears of a clown
Drink to get drunk
Drunk as a skunk
Drinks on the skunk, he's buyin' a round!
Has anyone seen a skunk drunk from a drink?
It's not a pretty sight you would think
They can hold their liqueur
And they can drink much quicker
They can't drive, but they do drink and stink!
Paddy’s drinking with his buddy Shaun
In fancy dress as a leprechaun
To be part of the scene
They wear emerald green
and get bladdered before break of dawn!
Old Paddy supped ten pints of brown ale
And then drunk as a skunk, he turns pale
He stumbles to the right
And gets into a fight
Now Paddy’s languishing in the jail!
When sober he rings his wife Innis
Says ‘Darling, I drank too much Guinness’
And I cannot dispute
I got pissed as a newt
I’m begging you for your forgiveness!
(* the Gaelic name Innis means Island)
2/16/19
With champagne and plenty of gin,
we welcomed the brand New Year in
Fred got nissed as a pewt,
and despite some dispute
he wouldn’t leave to my chagrin!
Old Freddie was drunk as a skunk,
and clambered onto our top bunk
But he fell to the floor -
how he ranted and swore,
I’m wary next time he gets drunk!
Let's have fun Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Shadow Hamilton
12/25/18
MOONSHINER'S DITTY - Collaboration
Gonna drink moonshine
Get drunk as a skunk
Then go into town
Beat up on some punk
Get thrown in jail
'Til I get sobered up
Start drinking again
Then puke it all up
23 July 2018
For Charles Messina's contest
(Make this the last stanza)
There's a story from Dixon
About some ole drunk
Who came in the courtroom
Drunk as a skunk
When asked by the judge
Sir how do you plea
He pulled out a 5th
And said this ones on me
Unsure what he meant
The judge threw him in jail
Without that ole bottle
Without chance of bail
When his attorney asked him
Why cause such a rift
He simply stated
I pleaded the fifth
When word of the meaning
Got back to the judge
He released him the same day
It caused such a buzz
All the people in town
Still chomp at the bit
To tell the story of Barney
And how he pleaded the fifth
Unsure what he meant
The judge threw him in jail
Without that ole bottle
Without chance of bail
When his attorney asked him
Why cause such a rift
He simply stated
I pleaded the fifth
The day Barney died
The judge came to grieve
Said here you go Barney
This ones on me
So if you pass through Dixon
Or just stop for a bit
You'll hear the story of Barney
And how he pleaded the fifth
When the judge found it funny
He chose to acquit
And old Barney won
When he pleaded the fifth
Old Paddy supped ten pints of ale
Now drunk as a skunk, he turned pale
He slewed to the right
Got into a fight
Now Paddy’s residing in jail!
03~14~17
Got drunk as a skunk, at a debutante
Eye catching tat I want. With no regrets
a masterpiece of art that I can flaunt
clearly expressing my love for Begretz
Fritz loves Begretz on a red crimson heart.
When the artist was done the tattoo read
Ritz loves Begets on a red crimson heart
With grieve I departed , I know I’m dead
Pearl, in no way cared, that was a big void
I’m all wrinkled wishing I was younger
Instead of guessing and getting annoyed
now you know the tattoo is no longer
Young and reckless, no more needs to be said
I’m still alive with the life that I led
9/3/2016
Poetry Contest
Which Of The Four Would You Choose - cartoon #4
Sponsored by: Sara Kendrick |
Sonnet: 10 syllables per line, rhyme scheme abab, cdcd, efef, gg ..Fourteen lines with last two lines like a summary of the poem..
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