Short Drunk As A Skunk Poems

Why do we say someone is “drunk as a skunk?”
In truth, has anyone ever seen a skunk drunk?

Written August 9, 2022...

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The wife was as drunk as a skunk
When she bumped into a young punk
Before he knew it
She simply blew it
Is that what they call a "Slam Dunk"?...

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Old Paddy supped ten pints of  ale
Now drunk as a skunk, he turned pale
He slewed to the right
Got into a fight
Now Paddy’s residing in jail!


03~14~17...

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I once met a man who claimed he was sober 
At a beer drinking party, late October 
He was as drunk as a skunk 
He fell down and yelled- Ca 'plunk! 
Thought it best I called him an Ober...

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He's drunk as a skunk on St Patrick’s Day
Too much Guinness stopped him getting a lay
For he had brewers droop
So he had to regroup
He’ll have to wait for a roll in the hay

17th March 2015...

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I'll never give in I'll never surrender
I'll never drink gin I'll avoid a bad bender
I liked to vodka but only drink beer
I'll always have fun and will always cheer
I never drink so much its getting me drunk
I've never got feeling drunk as a skunk...

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MOONSHINER'S DITTY - Collaboration

Gonna drink moonshine
Get drunk as a skunk
Then go into town
Beat up on some punk

Get thrown in jail 
'Til I get sobered up
Start drinking again
Then puke it all up

23 July 2018
For Charles Messina's contest

(Make this the last stanza)...

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The loudmouth cowboy was challenged by an inebriated Doc Holiday.
"Draw your weapon sir," slurred the doc, "I'm your huckleberry."
"You're drunk as a skunk," said the cowboy, "probably seeing double too."
Mr Holiday responded, "Yes sir, that is very true,
but I have two guns,.. one for each of you."...

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Drink to the rain falling down
Drink to the tears of a clown
Drink to get drunk
Drunk as a skunk
Drinks on the skunk, he's buyin' a round!

Has anyone seen a skunk drunk from a drink?
It's not a pretty sight you would think
They can hold their liqueur
And they can drink much quicker
They can't drive, but they do drink and stink!...

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Kelly collided with Ellie but neither was hurt
                        That was the miracle of the day said stupid Bart
                                              Kelly was a truck
                                               Ellie ran amuck
                      She was as drunk as a skunk and didn't wear a skirt












(C) rajat kanti chakrabarty...

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There once lived a gambler named Dino
who was terribly fond of vino.
Since he’d drink and play bad,
and lose all that he had,
he was loved at every casino.

But drunk as a skunk, that guy Dino
wreaked havoc one evening in Reno.
Now his vices he’s licked
after being drop-kicked
by a mafia guy named Gino.

Written June 18, 2011 
For Francine Robert's "Bottle of Wine" Contest...

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How come I’m never drunk
I mean drunk like a skunk
Used to be a punk
Then turned into a hunk

I used to collect some junk
And put it in my trunk
Even under my bunk
Some of it just stunk

Had to admit I was drunk
If I did not I was sunk
Had to live like a monk
Once upon a bunk

Dumped all of the junk
Even the stuff that stunk
Had put it in my trunk
Then took it to the dump...

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If you’re in a crowd….drunk
If you’re home alone….drunk
In jail…….drunk
“Drunk as a skunk!”
Sober?
Hell no!
No matter
Anywhere drunk
Any way but dead

For God's sake
It’s New Year’s Eve!
Before long
The ball will be descending
Come down like the blade of a guillotine
And    if you’re very lucky
You’ll wake up New Year’s day
Feeling rotten avocado green
On the bathroom floor...

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With champagne and plenty of gin,
we welcomed the brand New Year in
Fred got nissed as a pewt,
and despite some dispute
he wouldn’t leave to my chagrin!

Old Freddie was drunk as a skunk,
and clambered onto our top bunk
But he fell to the floor -
how he ranted and swore,
I’m wary next time he gets drunk!

Let's have  fun Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Shadow Hamilton

12/25/18...

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i don't mean to come hard, but that's my dog, last night-drunk as a skunk at the local bar, they hollered, let's take him home he live right down the street..um like oh no yawl, where's my dog,  at the house my dog is looking at me like, take yo drunk self to bed . that morning i am awakened by  a loud woof-woof at my door and a loud ka-plunk of his dog pan dropping on the floor and i know what this is for.. i want some mo sleep, but that's mah dawg yawl....

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I sat down and ordered a drink
She walked in dressed in pink
As I looked over I gave her a wink

Little did I know I was laying on the floor 
Drunk as a skunk now seeing a monk
Pink elephants I did see

Boy, I sure had to pee
I lifted myself up from the floor
Next thing I knew they were,

Escorting me out the door

Contest: Craziest Time At
Sponsored by: Caren Krustinger
Date Created: 08/18/2020

64 words, I think I had to count them in my head...

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