Bing the turtle was taking a
Slow walk, until he was
Encountered by a hungry jaguar
Who was ready to eat and kill
So, he knocks the lil turtle
Around and around
He even knocks him
Up-side down
He flipped the turtle over
And over again and then
Tosses him from side to side but
The lil turtle finally had enough
When the jaguar sticks his
Nose in the turtle’s shell
Bing grabs it and holds on tight
The jaguar hollers in pain
Then takes off running while
Shaking his head trying to
Release the turtle’s grip
But the turtle holds on until
The cat gives up, then he
Let’s go and the jaguar runs away
With his tail tuck between his legs
My Best Mechanical Friend
You pester me with the slightest errors.
You bing and bong
Giving me night terrors.
I want drive along
And not listen to musical scarers.
It’s three degrees and you let me know.
You shout at me.
And then you show
On the dash a disaster ahead
And you bing and bong
While but nothing is said.
You’re a lovely car I wouldn’t swap.
I just want the bings and bongs to stop.
Let me drive in blissful peace.
And not steer while grinding my teeth.
An eighties car that’s what I need.
It doesn’t have feelings, it doesn’t bleed.
It’ll carry on until it drops.
It won’t flash and bleep if a tyre pops.
Then I drive you just one more day
The sun is shining, so beeps are okay.
David Cox 23/04/24
"bada Bing"
Bob hopes
golf balls and tease
thanks for the mammaries
Bob Hope,
at birth Leslie Towns, died at one hundred and his life was an interlope;
admired for his comedic timing, facial expressions, and a great one liner,
the "road" movies with his pal Bing- for comedy there are none finer !
Bing Crosby
at birth Harry Lillis, this man so funny and never ever sang off key,
he did so many things before he died at seventy-two, some with Bob his friend
accomplished much and it is said he was the most admired man to his very end
__________________
September 29, 2021
Poetry/Clerihew/Bob and Bing
Copyright Protected, ID 09-1391-891-29
All Rights Reserved, 2021, Constance La France
Written for the Standard contest, Clerihew 2
sponsor, Joseph May, Judged 10/29/2021
First Place
always will like Bing
a great sound when he does sing
house down he did brng
Jim Horn
what the he...ck!
i've nuthin to say...but
what's unreal...
the seeming impossible
appears...before your eyes
that trial and error step
found first...then
some second...and
now when you see...
the dead end sign
tells you...detour!
till that third step becomes...
the clear probability...
the impossible
takes form...repeating
always...with a difference
time means...mechanics
stan sand
Noted covid
Suddenly exploded
Bing Bam Boom!
Around it goes
Bing Bam Boom!
Bing Bam Boom!
Covid floated
Around my room
Around it goes!
Around it goes!
When it stops
Nobody knows
Believe it or not when I say,
my computer had a rough day-
Google turned to Bing,
what an awful thing,
then his wireless mouse ran away!
Offline he decided to go,
then I screamed at him, said “OH NO!”
Why is he a jerk?
Why can’t he just work?
Unplugged him, decided to blow.
Pressed button and turned him back on,
and what did I stumble upon?
Email from the mouse,
had to leave the house,
ordered cheese and Bing didn’t respond!
I searched for mouse all day and night,
thought that I did everything right-
I turned on Yahoo,
mouse ran back said, “phew”,
Bing and mouse had been in a fight.
Now computer and mouse are friends,
and will never use Bing again-
Important is cheese,
mouse was very pleased,
ordered more on Yahoo, pressed send!
8-8-5-5-8 syllable count
howmanysyllables.com
FUNNY LIMERICKS CONTEST
October 22, 2017
8/21/17
"
Taking swigs
Continuing to dig
Doing it big
Bada-bing
Crown me I am king
Doing my thing
Toward the fences I swing
My all I bring
Sting like a bee, And knock them out the ring
Ding
Ding
Ding
It ain't no thing but a chicken wing
They were holding on by a string
Unable to cling
Now in a sling
Few cooler
Or crueler
A little bit of Ferris Bueller
Call me the super duper ruler
Being a doer
Nevermind the rumors
A good sense of humor
Maneuvered
Throughout the sewer
Even when a junior
On a scooter
King saw the universe in condom
Big bangs and big crunches at random
A.P.P.L.E
Pfaiffer and Grapple
King sent "Nature" a memorandum
I went to a local Ice Cream Stand.
Located near Market Square.The
sky was clear, and the weather was
fair.This is where I met a girl named
Mary.So I offered up a treat of Old
Fashion Ice Cream.I said'Mary what
is your favorite flavor'? She replied..
'Bada Bing, Bada Bing Cherry'.'My
real true love is my Boyfriend Jerry'.
I left with a broken heart...
Ice Cream Poetry By Kim Robin Edwards
Copyright 2010,2014..All rights reserved.
I heard Bing Crosby sing
My heart skipped a little
Close is the time
Of joyful rhyme
Sleighs and snowman
Georgia's southern clim'
Doesn't go for snow
Below the tinsel lighted star
We sing Bing!
its pass time game
to win things
must uses you brain
its can be pain
if you don't win
you have a sad grim
that will show
thats
BING GO
I really loved to hear this man sing.
His real name was Harry, but we knew him as “Bing”.
In his career, he ventured very far.
Not only was he a singer, he was a movie star.
All of his music was in great demand.
However, he was terrific with music of Ireland.
Each time I heard one of his melodies,
I would embark on one of many vicarious journeys.
I could just imagine myself walking the Emerald Isle.
It was the next best thing to reality all the while.
Yes, we all know the man is now gone.
However, his immortal voice is left to carry on.
Years had passed still I had every bit of reason to grasp/
That true essence of what he said/
Yet there was many thought's inside my head ?
Like the time I drove my big wheel into the yellow Ollie !
I was speechless in thought and deed
Still I never bothered to take heed/
All I wanted to do was just speed !
That's how Bodda Boom met with Bodda Bing !!!
You all know what I mean ?
I even could hear that sweet little bird sing/
Bodda used to be a good friend until when
Bing came strolling into the town/
Many thought the freekin guy was such a clown
So nobody wanted him around/
Today Bing resides right next to The Jersey Shore
Last I knew he lived with a whore ?
Yet who knew/
About that two timer Boom/
He's the spitting image of Jessy James/
Then with his face I'd like to rearrange !
How could he do that to such a beautiful lady !
She's better off settling for Wavy Gravey !
So it was back to the past,
We had every reason to grasp/
That day when Bodda Bing met up with Bodda Boom !
Yet who knew ?
Related Poems