Best Bing Poems
Christopher's pulse always raced
when faced with anchovy paste
splattered most steady,
tossed like spaghetti
in haste with no time to waste.
Aha...At Last,..Bitta Bing Bitta Bang
The Figurative Nail Hit On The Hair Strand Size Head!
Though no physician,
this aging baby boomer
absolutely, intuitively, and
unequivocally sensed hair loss (mine),
at first a speculative rumor
not simply in my (ahem) head,
no matter a minimalist groomer
nevertheless, thinning follicles,
upon dawning realization, sans medical
sought relief thru good humor,
though within this balding cerebral noggin
became repulsive as if my scalp
pulled pate rendered as a tumor.
Thus an unexpectedly present surprise
when in private consultation in the guise
as out patient client (early afternoon
December 19th, 2018),
where I did fraternize
and kibitz with the medical assistant
(old enough to be my...sister),
aye did exercise
mild mannered mien mean, aye do patronize
before doctor Rudolf (dearly
reigned) Roth, a practicing
Dermatologist told me no lies
his instant karma knowledge - mainly his
thirty seven years expertise
sought to excise
a prominent non cancerous mole approximately
centered middle of back
a small patch of skin,
he needed to anesthetize
nonetheless, a reassuring persona,
yours truly did lionize
(not merely, cuz
he received a five star rating,
specialist under auspices
of Penn, Medicine)
in Radnor Pennsylvania),
his modest calm did neutralize
any uneasiness, as did his pronounced
humility earn kudos to idolize
such rarely present gentility, and
unwitting capacity did harmonize,
and maximize significance to me,
asper my thinning limp
hair logically rationalize
identified underactive thyroid gland
(hypothyroidism) tubby,
which didst legitimize
no hair brained rooted concern,
hence...less reason to catastrophize',
which for no reason I
wanted to mildly emphasize,
hence choice to apostrophize...
Years had passed still I had every bit of reason to grasp/
That true essence of what he said/
Yet there was many thought's inside my head ?
Like the time I drove my big wheel into the yellow Ollie !
I was speechless in thought and deed
Still I never bothered to take heed/
All I wanted to do was just speed !
That's how Bodda Boom met with Bodda Bing !!!
You all know what I mean ?
I even could hear that sweet little bird sing/
Bodda used to be a good friend until when
Bing came strolling into the town/
Many thought the freekin guy was such a clown
So nobody wanted him around/
Today Bing resides right next to The Jersey Shore
Last I knew he lived with a whore ?
Yet who knew/
About that two timer Boom/
He's the spitting image of Jessy James/
Then with his face I'd like to rearrange !
How could he do that to such a beautiful lady !
She's better off settling for Wavy Gravey !
So it was back to the past,
We had every reason to grasp/
That day when Bodda Bing met up with Bodda Boom !
Yet who knew ?
King saw the universe in condom
Big bangs and big crunches at random
A.P.P.L.E
Pfaiffer and Grapple
King sent "Nature" a memorandum
I heard Bing Crosby sing
My heart skipped a little
Close is the time
Of joyful rhyme
Sleighs and snowman
Georgia's southern clim'
Doesn't go for snow
Below the tinsel lighted star
We sing Bing!
I went to a local Ice Cream Stand.
Located near Market Square.The
sky was clear, and the weather was
fair.This is where I met a girl named
Mary.So I offered up a treat of Old
Fashion Ice Cream.I said'Mary what
is your favorite flavor'? She replied..
'Bada Bing, Bada Bing Cherry'.'My
real true love is my Boyfriend Jerry'.
I left with a broken heart...
Ice Cream Poetry By Kim Robin Edwards
Copyright 2010,2014..All rights reserved.
This poetic blurb not meant to annoy
divulging, when just a whippersnapper boy
me late mum and octogenarian pop agreed
without questioning why doctor best remove adenoid
pat response told less to prevent sole son tubby coy
than fear Harris heir, would not inherit carnival throne
sidestepping 3 ring circus, and not becoming an android
dreaming of electric sheep,
a disagreeable prospect that could hoof happened,
aye shear with you especially
in tandem with predilection tilting tubby goy
fated outcome unfazed this herbaceous rooted lad,
who idolized captain crunch (before childhoods' end)
hoping seaman tic wood beckon with “A HOY”
mollified parents blithely steered son clear into
psychotic outcome delivering obliviousness
that brought inner joy
anyway, this peculiar male progeny
believing himself to be just another brick
in the wall of Pink Floyd,
tripping with comfortably numb skull
found himself evicted from the hall of the mountain king
and in sore need of deep psychoanalysis, hence didst imp ploy
therapy in orifice er office of maudlin Sigmund Freud
whose nose bore striking resemblance,
to a fleshy phallic shaped trumpeting toy
pud dill, this mental analysis delved into past – outcome
induced feint to faint, while cawing boss addressed
as Oedipus Rex, which verbal homage did cloy
dredging layered past devoid of love
flush with malicious predatory abuse
from Lloyd Lavinsky, an Audubon Elementary
grade school male lore demon bully
sanity of mine he almost destroyed.
and its the bing bang boing but not bong ok nor beng or bung
A chicken diner stream is a recipe of combined cream but crossing a work surface is often best using traffic lights, zebra crossings and highlighted roadway maps. It is imperative to firm a very tight organised congestion. With cups to the left and glasses to the right the secret glow of gravity gravy is smiling at the floor. Yet shudders at the arriving sponge. Nodding. Nimble are the beetle bugs. Ooh a ballroom dancing spectacle for earthworms writing in packeted slices. Wow. Earthly eradication ejecting evil evolutionary evidence. But it could be said that dressing very casually is not the same as dressing in a greasy tissue. Fabulous isn't it? Queen gong on a long skinny street picks up a steeple and canters away. A catalogued misted mispronounced misprint of a moonlit mortal. Brighter is the bay before beauty bathes. And a beating bear brings bassist and bongos. Fantastical notions of a citronella cube. Formations frown upon upside down house bricks. And hot housework in leopard attire.whirling. A bun in a jar is neither a jar a bar or a bream in a stream. Straightforward structure strengthened strategy. And a large-scale looking leaking leaning lover. Haha now bake. Hahaha and bring a small frog and a little linguistic fish. Giggle then. Hehe head hornets. Xxxx constitutionalism z that was p y Q reporting on the corner from the facts. X
8/21/17
"
Taking swigs
Continuing to dig
Doing it big
Bada-bing
Crown me I am king
Doing my thing
Toward the fences I swing
My all I bring
Sting like a bee, And knock them out the ring
Ding
Ding
Ding
It ain't no thing but a chicken wing
They were holding on by a string
Unable to cling
Now in a sling
Few cooler
Or crueler
A little bit of Ferris Bueller
Call me the super duper ruler
Being a doer
Nevermind the rumors
A good sense of humor
Maneuvered
Throughout the sewer
Even when a junior
On a scooter
Thee Apple Hove Bing an Herbivore...?
(hint – app peal)
Sans maintaining a strict carb on diet
(for Peat Sake) iz like really coal
man, cuz carnivores consume meat,
which genetically modified organisms
engender incredible non edible size foal,
these agribusiness farmed animals shot up
with synthetic hormones
spurring heightened development
accidentally, inadvertently, and unleashing
King Kong monstrous outrageous gnoll,
whereat each footfall taken
by scary creature resembling
a humanoid hyena
results in said frankenfood digging,
one after another humungous hole
resulting in dirt pile
cresting, kickstarting, and
rivaling a mini
spring mount tin knoll
necessitating massive
manhunt to cap cha
lurching, pounding, and thudding
beast whereat entire
motley crue all harkened
from places named Lowell,
nonetheless heil lee calf full
to arm themselves with more'n one
tranquilized tipped pole
anachronistic cautionary expedition generating
masterfully baiting monster
with immense gritty buttered roll,
whose gargantuan ramp
aging spree across
world wide web
found endangered population
tuff lee from their
picturesque enclave i.e. Floss
on the Mill as zee unbridled
quasi jabberwocky took a selfie gloss
silly attired (trumpeting
"FAKE" ska don face mask)
likening pulling up moss
as coiffed "hair...hm..." all the while
gabbling, instagramming,
snapchatting, and toss
sing fearsome Frankenstein
with especial bent toward
those sharing surname Voss
in tandem to flagrant
disregard to paradigm
housing hefty prime
statutes of grammatically
correct syntactical rhetoric, plus rhyme
ming showcasing a novel
discovered talent to enrich pantheon
until the end of time.
since times of auld
where linkedin note able people
(some long haired others bald)
plaintively, suddenly, and called
urgently to be importantly installed
to brainstorm figuring a solution
to vanquish, nightmarish,
and hellish abominable madness!
Believe it or not when I say,
my computer had a rough day-
Google turned to Bing,
what an awful thing,
then his wireless mouse ran away!
Offline he decided to go,
then I screamed at him, said “OH NO!”
Why is he a jerk?
Why can’t he just work?
Unplugged him, decided to blow.
Pressed button and turned him back on,
and what did I stumble upon?
Email from the mouse,
had to leave the house,
ordered cheese and Bing didn’t respond!
I searched for mouse all day and night,
thought that I did everything right-
I turned on Yahoo,
mouse ran back said, “phew”,
Bing and mouse had been in a fight.
Now computer and mouse are friends,
and will never use Bing again-
Important is cheese,
mouse was very pleased,
ordered more on Yahoo, pressed send!
8-8-5-5-8 syllable count
howmanysyllables.com
FUNNY LIMERICKS CONTEST
October 22, 2017
While cleaning up my dark attic
which hasn't seen sunlight for ages,
I expected to get an unusual headache
from dragging out dusty items like picture frames
hidden in boxes or stacked up as old books...
and my awesome discover was: Bing Crosby's Decca Album;
yes, something told me to open up that neglected room!
Wasn't I thrilled by his youthful looks?
On an old Motorola record player never used,
I play all of his songs, but imitate him
with , " My Isle Of Golden Dreams " and be immensely amused...
could it be more real than a dream?
If he could come back to life, we would do a duet...
a well-performed song we could never forget!
Sing, Bing Crosby and entertain me for an hour or so...
until your last song fades away, not leaving me yearning for more!
Before dust covered this precious album, hiding his smooth face never getting old;
now, it is clear as day brightening up my dull living room
as it once refused to let sunlight in, only shaded by doom!
Oh, this unique musical treasure I've found is as genuine as gold,
on my book shelf it will lay and as its keeper, nobody will get close to it;
I will allow others to stare at it from distance...forbidding them to ever touch it!
Bob Hope,
at birth Leslie Towns, died at one hundred and his life was an interlope;
admired for his comedic timing, facial expressions, and a great one liner,
the "road" movies with his pal Bing- for comedy there are none finer !
Bing Crosby
at birth Harry Lillis, this man so funny and never ever sang off key,
he did so many things before he died at seventy-two, some with Bob his friend
accomplished much and it is said he was the most admired man to his very end
__________________
September 29, 2021
Poetry/Clerihew/Bob and Bing
Copyright Protected, ID 09-1391-891-29
All Rights Reserved, 2021, Constance La France
Written for the Standard contest, Clerihew 2
sponsor, Joseph May, Judged 10/29/2021
First Place
My Best Mechanical Friend
You pester me with the slightest errors.
You bing and bong
Giving me night terrors.
I want drive along
And not listen to musical scarers.
It’s three degrees and you let me know.
You shout at me.
And then you show
On the dash a disaster ahead
And you bing and bong
While but nothing is said.
You’re a lovely car I wouldn’t swap.
I just want the bings and bongs to stop.
Let me drive in blissful peace.
And not steer while grinding my teeth.
An eighties car that’s what I need.
It doesn’t have feelings, it doesn’t bleed.
It’ll carry on until it drops.
It won’t flash and bleep if a tyre pops.
Then I drive you just one more day
The sun is shining, so beeps are okay.
David Cox 23/04/24
Has death come for everyone?
One minute your here the next your gone.
We don't know in who death abides
Stranger, friend, or family member is
Where he hides.
Pull in your welcome mat Don't let them
Inside.
This is our reality.
Death will devour
In misery from a virus that is a mystery.
We don't know our hour
Forget the grass plot your burial you have
Lost
At no cost.
Who would of thought
That this year would be fraught
With death all around.
Yet, I am thankful for those on the rebound
Who are home bound.
To rest
And hopefully feeling blest
For death they did cheat.
Please, stay off the street.
To everyone I say this is our
Metamorphosis
Our genesis
So don't be remiss.
Our lives are a gift.
Even though for now it seems we have
Been set adrift.
Enjoy the sounds of the whip-poor-will
Nature gives us a renewed will.
Listen to music
And look for life's magic.
Right now we seem fragile
This is only for a little while.
Enjoy what God has designed
It is to remind
Us that he has created everything
That people have been altering.
Think
As you stand by your sink.
You have been given a chance
To do your own dance
In your own paradise.
Please, take some advice
Do more than exist.
Sure life is full of twists
This is where you can show your light
Shine it bright.
Don't be a hypocrite.
Make it exquisite.
Believe me I care.
I say this prayer
Let me be an ambassador
Of faith, love, and hope
For
People in life to cope.