Best Major Poems
Sub-titled: What’s in YOUR Fridge?
Please allow me to introduce myself:
My name is Ms. Fridge A. Daire
I stand tall among my lesser cohorts
and MOST of them really look up to me
However, I have two problems:
First, I’m FED UP with my owner
He's always opening my door
reaching deep inside (Oooh yeah!)
helping himself to my goodies
without EVER cleaning me out
or scrubbing me from top to bottom
Doesn’t he know a woman has NEEDS?
Then there’s that stupid stove next to me
who’s constantly flirting and making passes
Says he wants to ‘warm me up’ and ‘defrost’ me
bragging that I’ve ‘got the hots’ for him
which absolutely makes my Freon boil!
Of course, I always give him the cold shoulder
by freezing him with my famous icy stare
and responding, “Simmer down Four-Eyes"
or “I don’t date shorter appliances"
But he’s always cooking up something else...
So I asked my owner to move me to another spot
He said he would if I wasn’t so heavy...HEAVY?
What kind of thing is THAT to say to a lady?
He also claims there’s no other place to plug me
PLUG me? Who does he think I am anyhow?
I found it quite crude and vulgar! ANYWAY...
I suggested an extension cord and he blew a fuse!
Geez, no wonder he’s still single...
an impression of the world
stands before me
Left is right, and right is wrong,
and the mirror reflects a melancholy song.
i the mirror
not
the babbling brook,
or
the rippled river
whose images tell harmless lies.
i
the mirror,
who was once held in the
weak, shivering, hands of a life nearing its end
now lay
on broken, crushed bones, crumbs
and i
one thousand shards
the cracks
the jaded moments of my life.
i
an unintended semblance in the raging waters
crashing against the killing rocks of the rushing falls.
never utter the curse
"it can't get any worse"
the serpent swallows the swollen cow,
swallowed - the farmer's wife,
swallowed - her son,
swallowed - the thorny toad,
the black widow spider devours them all!
i the empty frame
the bits and bites of carpenter ants.
my world
a perverse facade
of
what should of been
of
what
is
of
what
was
or of
what? WHAT?
less?
i guess.
NEVER utter the curse
"it can't get any worse"
whose voice
will bring me peace,
whose rapier
will deliver me,
who will
burn my body whole
or
dig me a deep hole
or
throw me void of soul
into
the waters of the screaming ocean
who herself dies a slow painful death.
Dec 20 2015
armand
with a major contribution by
Joseph May
Dear Fridge, you’re getting up in years. Oh, my!
How many now? You must be twenty-five!
The dishwasher already I’ve seen die.
How ever have YOU managed to survive?
Sir Oven also is a hanger-on,
But rarely do I spend my time with HIM!
I use his stove sometimes to cook upon.
Too bad you kitchen things can’t keep me slim!
You never rest! I open up your door.
The produce you’ve been keeping fresh I see;
The cheeses, breads, and butter, even more:
Cold casseroles and pizza tempting me!
I do not clean you often. That is mean!
I ought to prize more my appliance queen.
"Major Love"
My dear Major Love,
are You following me yet?
all the sunrising storms read?
soliloquys too many to mention
my very brave Major Love
You’ll find me yet
tomorrow
is never too late
in this dreamscape
it won’t be the Love
that everyone suspects
it commenced inside and yet
You made it out two weeks late
are You following me yet?
Footprints left
oh so very left, yet You
are right, so very very right
it's all very
black and white
messy and neat
romance of a lifetime
my brave Major Love
yet, somehow I know You
this You know alone,
You feel incomplete
dear Major Love
You’ll find me yet
lost in the crowd of
any leftfield audience
their better minds in hand
do not fit this catcher’s mit
that is a fact, You can be certain
of that, my brave Major Love
but You, my dear Major Love
1st base, 2nd, and 3rd
always watched, as if an eyeball
in the sky hovers over You
holds You
fast and intent
watching for all
the home runs you have spent
I am not in the bleechers
I am fixed on You focused eyed
the winning ball pitching Life
It is only for You
in dreams
I will always meet You
are You ready?
it is all for You
stoic Major Love
one two three owl
one two three owl
eyes wide open You now
strike matched and outrun
winning the race, yet
sometimes we lose, Major Love
but We losers
get back up again
there is no giving up
there is never no giving up
all the way home
my brave Major Love
the game already won
the field wide open before You
You'll fall again, this much is true,
but We get back up again
there is never no giving up
my much loved Major Love
the whole field before You
my gloriously embarrassed
heart read Major Love
face flushed, You are
always Loved
my best Major Love
We dance
We love
We fall
We get back up again
always for Love
it is always for Love
courage, my much loved
only Major Love
Candide Diderot. ‘24
lux gvlm lux
"There's no eye in the sky
Just our love
No unobstructed view
No perfect truths
Just our love, just our love
And there's no verse
No monument of words
For our love
For they can't hold
All I know
About my love, about my love..."
Word Quintet in C Major
By Stark Hunter
Open the door my friend,
Climb on in,
Join me here in this relentless caravan,
This unstoppable, this incontrovertible,
this inexorable movement,
To the depths of the dry gulf.
Join me here my friend,
In this annihilating armada,
This incontrovertible migration,
This inexorable swarm
To the watery crossroads of the dry places,
To the liquid asphalt of insipid time!
I stare at you from across the room here.
I stare and gawk and hawk at you,
And I feel the pelting rain of desire.
You look good over there, sitting
With beautiful gleaming crossed legs.
“Sorry, beg your pardon,
I say, but have we not met before?
Did we not share beers on the Terrace of Tyre
At sunset?
Did we not tell each other stories,
Old stories of love and betrayal and heartbreak?
At sunset?
Did we not look away from each other,
When stories of new love suddenly emerged,
As with a new sunrise?”
My friend, there is no
Escape from this throbbing hole, no
Escape from this cold numbing wind,
This whirlingly insane wind
Of cold blasts of killing ice.
And I ride here
Ride like a sweating Sultan,
Astride the mighty beast of Tyre!
Perched high in rich raiment,
I wave to the multitudes
I send a salute to the throng!
I ride shotgun here
Ride nice and easy
Like a tanning garçon on his off day,
Like a sitting trog waiting wistfully,
Waiting waiting for gams not intended for him.
My friend, the world turns and turns,
It turns today and tomorrow,
It will turn as the river turns in spring,
It will turn as a woman’s heart turns,
When eyes that once stared ahead, now look away.
It will turn my friends because it has to!
Riding, Riding, Riding….
Downhill now! The insane wind
Assaults me. Harasses me. Accosts me.
It presses its loose lips upon my face,
It seeks the mad blood of passion!
“Let us calm ourselves
Reassure ourselves
That all is right and as planned.
Let us all look at one another!
Let us all nod in agreement!
The days ahead will manifest themselves,
Transfigure themselves,
As blooms upon the water lilies.
I'm an Ultra Quiet with a whir
Frigidaire 24” Built-In White Dishwasher
Energy saver
With hot and cold stir
Oh yes they do make a dishwasher
I’m getting so old they just don't know
They think I can do the job like a pro
Baskets are crumbling
Rust on everything
I'm ready to blow and overflow
Naive people believe what labels sell
They use a lemon scent liquid gel
States; “No" pre-washing
Leaves dishes sparkling
All lies, it makes the dishes look like hell
They have hard water in their home
So the liquid soap makes no foam
Barnacles have formed
Heating elements deformed
I'm tired of their complaints when they get home
I'm an Ultra Quiet with a snore
Frigidaire 24” Built-In White Dishwasher
Energy saver
No, not any more
Oh yes, they do need a new dishwasher
9/22/2015
Contest Name: A Tribute to a Major Appliance
Sponsor: Mary Oliver Rotman
Hunger is worldwide; I don't understand why
Trash cans are filled with untouched food
Starvation is real; why must another die?
We can feed the homeless from our food supply;
Or help food banks, it can brighten their mood,
Hunger is worldwide; I don't understand why.
Wasting food is a major issue, we mustn't deny,
We should help if we can and stop being rude
Starvation is real; why must another die?
It's affecting us all; do you hear the earth’s cry?
Not just a “them” problem, I must conclude
Hunger is worldwide; I don't understand why.
We fill our belly with everything that we buy,
And see someone in need and are often shrewd
Starvation is real; why must another die?
Restaurant plates have a ton of uneaten food; sigh,
Our waste can be a lifeline to the homeless dude.
Hunger is worldwide; I don’t understand why,
Starvation is real; why must another die?
Early morning on the road,
Babysitting duties call.
Traffic outbound's mostly light,
Heading to the suburbs' sprawl.
Suddenly, it all slows down;
On the GPS, a flash -
Point three miles up ahead,
There has been a major crash.
At a standstill, we are trapped;
Nothing really we can do.
Even with the updates, we are
Stuck in lane without a clue.
Not a siren to be heard.
Not a horn, impatient, honks.
Every driver is resigned
To extra minutes in the Bronx.
Inbound cars are flying by
Yet we suckers sit and sit,
Trying hard to take a breath
And, hopefully, avoid a snit.
All in the surrounding cars
This morning share an equal fate -
Even though we left on time,
Each of us will show up late.
The tears are too heavy to wipe away, she doesnt bother getting rid of them
because she feels they are meant to stay
with fiery red eyes and a face with the look of exaust, she feels she has no control
over the feeling she has come across
she disconnected her phone, black lights and curtins covered her room, she even
broke her t.v. she had no interest in being outside to enjoy the excitement she
could see
self medicating, due to a headache every day was the reason everybody believed
she never stayed awake and barely touched a plate
at such a young age she couldnt even look in the mirrior for a few minutes without
turning away, and still not knowing what she feels, shes allowing herself to fade
away
DID ANYBODY GET TO HER BEFORE IT WAS TOO LATE??
Opening Day
will be coming soon
who are you rooting for?
The Football Major
By Elton Camp
Though the big oaf can kick a football so high,
Of skills for college work, he lacks a good supply
The old saying is true in his case without a doubt
“Behind the door when the brains were passed out.”
But there is a provision that gives him great elation
Because he can always major in physical education
He can learn all about the types of sports of today,
If he passes enough courses, he’ll be eligible to play
Will he ever be eligible to get his bachelor’s degree?
If there are compliant professors who to that will see
Then he may walk out the door, sheepskin in hand
So a job coaching football he will be able to land
Then a “Master of Education” from an inferior school
And as principal, the big oaf will finally come to rule
Though a coherent sentence he is so unable to write,
Others cover up and the coach will come out all right
Those far more competent than he, the coach can fire
And in their place, some of his sports buddies to hire
What message to the students does such as this send?
It’s not what you know, but who that matters, friend
Art from the heart, a religion of ritual,
where One summons God and glory to center stage,
your spirit enriched by the self confidence that ensues
as inspiration smells like cedar and feels like sanctity,
the physics of mystics in an eye the mind won't deny,
whence a penny is a prize with a wish
to ventilate a voice of sensitive wisdom,
sensational seeing into the human condition,
visions of vinegar in virtue, visciousness in victory, mercy in the face of malignancy,
pleasure in the panic of risk, pain in the placid avoidence of adventure,
securing an ownership in a Universe from our births unto burials
worshiping composition and the partnership it represents,
Vermeer & Vivaldi, Beehtoven & Bosch, amatuer & adept,
feeling like an angel with demon bones, fusing two atmospheres together,
a holy parade of brazen beliefs putting a new world in order for all,
a micro euphoria, a macro excitment, accomplishment ambrosia,
happiness warm and wakeful in hearts pumping for promise,
for a covenant crafted in a workshop outfitted for you, for what you were ment to do,
volunteering to be a lightning rod of a Goddess crazed with passion,
a power placed in One's fibers for maximum purpose by a trusting Deity,
raise humanity's awareness to the truth that existence is an exercise in artistry,
faith framing futurity within the purity
of knowing that I am where I belong, I belong where I am -
J.A.B.
Pete Rose and Shoeless Joe Jackson are gone
Major League Baseball locked the door with them
now with PEDs ban should be withdrawn
today’s drug use has darken baseball’s gem
in the early days baseball was strong and pure
except for being only for white men
maybe Ty Cobb was a bit immature
that was the way the game was played back then
baseball is a product of the USA
and Major league baseball is politics
it was a great game to watch and to play
and those stadiums were truly classics
Wade Boggs is the owner of Field of Dreams
baseball won’t flow away in any streams
Nigella Lawson
Her food my source of inspiration
Cooking up a storm of exotic tastes
A master chef on the hot plates
09-13-2015
Oh My Gosh! What’s the matter with you?
You could be squatting outside over a fire!
So you have to clean me once in awhile…big deal!
I slave for you with never a thank you.
Turn a knob and I heat your fancy pans..
I simmer, I boil, I bake for hours…
And what do I get in return…whining
about the new self cleaning ovens…stainless
steel the big “I have to have”! I may be plain
but I never let you down. and yet…you sigh
whenever you have to wipe a spill.
So who's fault it that?
You’re the one who was gossiping on the phone..
Not my fault! I hate to be the one to tell you..but
You’re A Crummy Cook!”..I do my best but
you’ve got to follow a recipe…you’re not a natural!..
Awwwhhh, forget it I’m tired. You don’t listen anyway…
Who cares if you order take out tomorrow…
Not me, that’s for sure…