I had blood on my face. Dirty. Gracious. And… disgusting. Blood dripping on my face. Didn’t know it. It just smelled bad.
When I looked at my face in the mirror, I thought… that the mirror had the blood.
I kept cleaning it. Cleaning it. Rubbing it. With my arms. With my palms. With my fingertips.
At the fatigue, I could get in my fingertips until that blood dripped from my face onto the mirror.
And now I understand that I had a problem. Who caused problems on both me and the mirror.
Now I can clean the blood on my face. But what about the mirror?
The lurking demons,
Lying deep down within me,
Strive against my good.
," I felt my fingernails digging into his back during a profoundly charged moment. It was striking to see tears streaming down the face of this strong man—he was unguarded! He sighed deeply and reached his climax again and again.
This was not just a display of sportsmanship; it was a clear expression of inner turmoil
Why don't I sleep?
Those creepy crawlies under my bed
Those monsters in my closet- they’re
in my head instead
The rotten apple is my heart
I’m alone in the dark
That black blanket pressing
Down, down, down
Cocooned and captured
Yet comforted:
The absence of sounds
Whilst my thoughts drown
Sleeping is for the weak
I’m alert. Sound the sirens, alpha to delta
When am I ever off duty?
I deserve a pay rise
I need a break
I want to feel
I’m stuck as this burnt out star
In the blackening night sky
And I wonder why
black bags under my eyes
Who’s surprised
When I don’t sleep
Sheer me, relieve me
Of some sort of substance
i feel it as the days drifts
Yet night is when I’m still
Grounded in the covers; quilted handcuffs
Maybe I am guilty- is this my penance?
At least in the darkness I can’t see
In the darkness I’m not me
Why don’t I sleep?
Maybe the person in the morning
is not someone I want to be
Something inside tells me
That things are gonna change
The world is in great turmoil
I feel there's lots and lots of pain
The rich are getting richer
And the poor barely get by
Oh Jesus please come help us
Bring this world now back to life
Trapped within the soil
Told stories filled with turmoil
Carrying the weight of black history
But it honours their memory
By always remembering
By never forgetting
Soaked by the tears of the enslaved
Waiting, hoping, praying to be saved
The ground an unknowing witness
To them being worked to death
But in awe of their perseverance
Throughout the years
One thing that remains clear
To the soil is that just because things have progressed
Doesn't mean life for black people is perfect
Racism still exists
It went from slavery to incarceration
To it being prevalent throughout the system
Racism just evolved through each generation
We the soil see everything
And hold the key
To untold black stories
E-ven
V-ery
A-nnoying
J-inx
A-nd
N-egative
E-xperiences
R-eally
O-ffer
J-oyful
O-utcomes
©bfa051525
Monocrostic (Birthday of Evajane C. Rojo)
Shadows are flying in my head.
Emotions are lost .
Darkness is running allover,thou life is a mystery.
Deeply I feel sad, deeply I feel happy, asking why life is worthless.
I can feel anger brewing inside my heart.
Periodically hateness is installed in my heart.
My emotions are lost in my own world,where I don't have access.
I'm lost in my thoughts.
I feel disconnected to the real world.
gates of steel d i
s s
o
l
v e
salt c l
o a
k s the sand-soaked castles ~
a timeless t u
r
m
o
i l
Perhaps I wouldn't move
if the train came.
Not out of courage,
just curiosity.
What does it feel like?
or just the experience, maybe.
I sit down in the shower sometimes
until the water forgets it's warm
and I forget
I have skin.
In that moment,
and that moment only
I think nothing
but oh, I feel-
I feel everything
like a flood, swirling, raging inside,
beating ferociously on the locked doors.
On the surface?
an ingrained smile,
a shrug,
a practiced "whatever."
I'm not good at
being good.
Not when good means
loud, bright, easy.
Sometimes I scream
like my ribs are splitting,
but my voice, my throat-
remain stubbornly silent.
I wish one day,
you would knock,
and no one would answer-
No one would come to the door.
Because perhaps I'd have reached where I've always wanted to be,
or perhaps I'm just not there anymore.
Thought, with intelligence? When?
How about the proof?
Setting fire to where and when?
Devil, art aloof?
Fire inspiration, thy pun.
What to do for fun?
Good sense, laddie, and reason!
Fly not close to sun!
Cold fusion, thy harpsichord.
Crystal glass a-flow.
Demon -sultan, fife and sword!
Hell and Heaven, row...
Toil and turmoil, tamarind.
Dappled roes a-fly.
O Reality, how ye thinned!
Grinned the gangrel Sly!
Water of the chasm deep?
Haunts within the sleep.
Void, abyss, around step creep!
Dragons, time to reap!
Vampires, paint thy eyes black!
Do not face the day!
Spend thy life holed not in crack!
Poisonous to pay...
Coals of dark fire, sing in me!
Fling, O fancy-free!
Dynamite and destiny!
Stay awake for she...
An argumentative person,
She spins nuanced thoughts for hours,
With an underappreciated approach,
Her resentful nature keeps her afar.
Agitation becomes her greatest foe,
Disrupting cycles, not just her own.
A hyperactive mind racing without pause,
Aloof and distant, fearing the spotlight on her flaws.
A weir holds back the river
against the flow of the morning tide
I wonder how many thoughts,
unspoken, lie behind its barrier-
ponderings of love, turmoil, betrayal
obstructed by the dam of emotional blocks
struggling to break free from their confines.
Like silent storms beneath the surface,
they swirl in the depths of the mind,
the dam of fear, of shame,
keeps them hidden from the light.
moment a potential release,
each breath a reminder of restraint.
The heart, a vessel so full of longing,
yet bound by invisible chains,
craves the freedom to flow unbound,
to speak the words that have waited too long.
But the weir stands firm,
its stones like the weight of doubt,
the water rising higher,
pressing against its edges,
until one day—
will it break, or will the river flow in silence forever?
Heart, what do you want?
Is it in front?
Uttering those whispers,
You show me hopes of glimmers.
Heart, are you confused?
While my soul is used.
But you, be at ease.
As the divine will show you peace.
Drip drip drip
There she is, curl up like a ball,
Hands pressing hard, raw is the pain,
For a moment the heated pad works.
Thud thud thud
Powerless she's against the shedding,
High and low, her hormones play tennis,
Giggles of laughter turn into tears.
Drip drip drip
With every drop of Vermillion,
A raging pain rise in her low back,
The room is spinning, her head is pounding.
Thud thud thud
“Those are the scarlet drops,
That could make her a Mother,” she thought
As the light faded from her pain-filled eyes.
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