A death I have carried since youth—
not the grave’s hush,
but the slow unfastening
of all that was false in me.
Each dawn, a small surrender:
the tongue bridled,
the anger banked,
the shadowed thought laid bare
before the Father of Lights.
I have walked with this inward dying
as one walks beside a stern companion,
learning its counsel—
that faith without its burial
is faith without breath.
For the world woos with crowns
that fade like grass in scorching wind,
but the soul grows only
where it lets go.
So I have lived with death
as with a discipline—
its quiet blade
paring away the double mind,
till what remains can stand upright
and call itself whole.
If this, then, was my long death,
blessed be the One
who taught me to lose myself,
that I might finally live.
I know that I will love
Living my life every day
I know that I will suffered
With my sickness
I know that I need to go
Early to bed every
Single nigh
I know that I am not looking forward
To die
My gosh! Oh how can it be
That Jesus suffered and died for me?
God the Father sent His only Son
Once on the cross the suffering begun
Jesus lifted His eyes to the sky
In His heart He asked the Father why
No answer came, He hadn't a clue
When the answer did come
Jesus then felt brand new
For all were saved to His delight
Many transformed,
Their clothes brilliant white
Praise God the Father
Jesus cried from His heart
Sinners now saints
Have a brand new start
Wait on my reply,
I suffer from being shy.
What does that imply?
Don’t kiss and tell, I may die!
Just laugh and cry, just laugh and cry.
Still I should give us a try.
So..you wanna come by?
When dad left you suffered
Like I’ve never seen you do
Fighting back angry tears
As you broke the news
Told us earlier that week
That granddad was ill
Even though we knew it wasn’t true
We went with it still
Fighting back and grasping tears
Trying out my own head
Watching you struggle too
Made it all lose sense
I’d never seen you cry
Now that’s all I see you do
Fighting back my anger inside
To stay strong for you
When dad left I couldn’t feel
Like there was nothing I could do
Cause although you were struggling
I was struggling too
Euan never spoke a word
He thought it was a joke
And suddenly I realised
I was watching him break too
Now I’m lying on my floor
Figuring out what to do
As I cry myself to sleep
Knowing it’s all true
No one wants to believe the things
They know are the truth
But when someone else says it
It make it’s all come through
Dad cheated and lied
And torn up the walls I knew
The structure and reality came crashing through
My family was breaking but I was breaking too
I am awoken by the summer night crickets and lighting that strikes the roof rod.
The wind and the abnormally hot air that begets the ominous dark cloud filled with ice rocks and Gods tears.
My dying light marked by the lost touch of a handsome beacon to the dullness of my heart.
A killing angel forgotten by the depths of a secretive shadow, engulfed in an endless pit of darkness.
He is, but a memory one must hide away in the heavens of the heart and the evils of the mind.
The forgotten peach wrapped in a towel under the intense heat of the summers breeze.
Written as a spiritual insurance when the floorboards creaked
As the wind caught my feet and the whispers that knew great feat.
It is no trick or a forgery of truth, but a para-perception to make up my lack of you.
I cannot move back the misty pendulum, wishing for some other to fill the gaps of what was once true.
Before you left, I should have cleaned our mess, but I am a hoarder of memories
That you must've despised, toxic soldier.
I cannot promise the stars I won’t draw for you, nor for the winds of time to forget your name
But your love will always roam the realms of my universal truths.
extravagant disgust
manifested by evil...outrageous
imbecile sacrilegious,
to torture the color,
to vilify nature,
to demonize the human...
With magnificent ramblas
but spirits so narrow, it
seems exponential, but
it's just spiritual retardation...
the pomp of wickedness,
rips in greatness
which should already be consolidated
after so long to evolve...
What a shame ! so much involution!
I went for a walk in the drizzling rain,
Remembering all the adversities and the pain,
That I had suffered for all this time,
Trying to maintain my sanity just felt like a crime,
I had pushed myself too far,
All the feelings I had were just bitter and sour,
I just couldn't take it anymore,
I was hurt, torn down and all I wore,
Was a fake smile and a forced laughter,
Everything felt fake, me the slave, my time the master,
Although as I walked around,
Something hit me, so profound,
The rain made a beautiful noise,
Realizing indirectly everything has a voice,
Let the feel be good or bad,
Listening to the drizzle surely made me less sad.
Taking a step back it made me realize,
Thinking about it, I wiped my wet eyes,
That every man is broken and torn apart,
Without him understanding that's just the start,
He doesn't realize the breakdown just makes him stronger,
It makes work harder and last longer,
You cannot stop or even think about quitting,
Try to break your records, even if you end up breaking yourself,
Instead of sitting on the couch, reminiscing.
.
.
~Hrishikesh
In the enchanted notebook,
I carved the flowery poem
and between soft words
I offered myself quite fearless...
How I confessed without knowing
that I didn't even know myself,
every confession almost veiled,
my soul trembled...
The paper almost on fire
asking for a break told me,
don't hurt me with words,
Don't make me suffer agony...
But I, insane poet,
I didn't stop with my
poetry...!
How shall I weep with those who mourn
When I have sensed the sweeter breeze
Wafting o'er the stones and through the trees
Across the sealed bronzed lid of death-borne
Sadness, yet eternal healing surely means
The bereft of pain are free;
The bereft of loss are free.
And so am I who stands before the glaring pit
Gazing into vast eternity, thinking only of me.
I shall not linger long to greet the wounded
Souls, whose cries of anguish at the bier
Reawakened in me long-dormant fear of dying
O, pity me, that I should self-accusing be
Grief-stricken without a solitary tear.
Published in PS: IT'S POETRY
Anthology of Poetry Soup
Arczis Web Technologies, Inc., 2020
FIRST PLACE WINNER
Brian Strand's Contest 2021
SELECTED FEATURED POEM
Poetry Soup, September 28, 2021
POETRY.COM COLLECTION
Poetry.com
April 16, 2022
CHRIST HAS SUFFERED FOR US THAT BEING SAID I TO MUST SUFFER THROUGH
If I were a christian
Just what would it take
Just act like Christ
To this we're called
Because Christ has suffered for us
He leaves and leads an example
That we should follow in His steps
Just act like Christ
To this we're called
Because Christ has suffered for us
9/13/18
inspired from ~~1 Peter 2:21
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr.©2018
From anthology “A LOVE FOR YOU”
You are a spirit being,
feeding on people's desires.
making the wicked stronger,
and spreading it like fire.
You are a person
that wants what the other has,
you want to take it all by force;
while being consume by hate,
you would leave that person in despair;
while you wear the dark colors on your face.
You are a killer,
that would torture the other in an instant.
You just watch while they breakdown;
while you sit there an feel superior at last,
but in the end you became my greatest enemy;
who owns the dark side of unpredictable minds
in a thousand faces.
Suffered Through Terrrible Trump
Suffered through Trump for duration;
Had completely destroyed our nation;
Had torn apart;
Broke our heart;
Present for Milania was a prevrication.
Jim Horn
You may have disease hurting in pains
May live in a climate dry terrains no rains
You may have a handicap or even relapse
You may be homeless, been fired from a job
You may be unemployed no where to go
You may have lost some loved one who died
you cry
you deny
in your suffering
yes, you're suffering
but no one has suffered more
Than Jesus Christ
all the pains in life
in this life hurts
many torrents and strife
you cry
you deny
in your suffering
yes, you're suffering
but no one has suffered more
Than Jesus Christ
I may have suffered some of these earthy pains
But I've never suffered like Jesus did
Never suffered like Jesus
Never suffered like Jesus did
Never suffered like Jesus
3/19/18
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr.©2018
I await to meet Him in the sky
Raptured up, by and by
I await to see my Lord
See His face eye to eye
If Jesus suffered, then why can't I
This is truly what it's meant to be Christ like
As I believe in my heart that I can make a different
No suffering, no glory
If I want to be like Christ
I must be...
In suffering, no glory
No suffering no crown
I must go through, I must leave tribulations
If I'm to own a mansion in heaven
1/22/18
written by James Edward Lee Sr.
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