her gentleman friend is not gentleman-like
a fraudulent flimflam man, a shyster named Ike
I would love to tell the cheater to take a hike
but then she would marry him said her Daddy Mike
Like a scorned ex-stripper hell has no fury
but how I would love to be on that jury.
To call out the sex troll vamp
in the case of Trump v Tramp
in this the show trial of the century!
So they call the shyster ex-lawyer for hire
as their big star witness and testifier.
A perjured jailhouse trickster
who calls himself "The Fixer"
but oops, is a convicted fraudster and liar!
The busty po-rn star said “he’s guilty, yup”
of the hush money charges all trumped up.
It looks and smells like a con
and they’re out to get The Don
but it's all just a stormy in a D-Cup!
Written: May 2024
“That’s all I can stands, ‘cause I can’t stands no more.”
—Popeye, Popeye the Sailor animated series
One episode, “The Fistic Mystic,”
takes place in Badgag, a parody of Bagdad.
Mountebank
Olive Oil,
a snake charmer.
Bluto
wraps around her.
He is a shyster -
a bully
with tricks.
One pop eye
on him -
the sailor
misdirects.
Mischief in Badgag -
a mountebank devil,
picked
the wrong g-oil.
There was a shyster from Dallas
whose lies were full of malice.
He groped the wrong girl
whose anger unfurled.
So now, they call him Alice.
I see you are troubled the soothsayer said.
She could see I was disheveled and wild in the head.
Anyone with a knowledge of people could see.
So far I was not terribly impressed with Miss She.
Come closer, she said. I see trouble in paradise.
I was thinking “shyster” and “trickster” not very nice.
She took my hand and I noticed the warmth in her eyes.
She had caring emotion, this was an enormous surprise.
I ended up listening, and her words were sage and wise.
A fortune teller who cared, I told my friends over fries.
So you are going back? Some asked, surprised at me.
Yes, and I promised to bring you, we are leaving at three.
The law is an ass that made me a victim,
so is my lawyer, his head up his rictum.
The law he said he knew
but is just a shyster who
doesn't know his coccyx from his dictum!
when death happens
a smiling shyster lawyer
avoid at all cost
Summer evening
The day is gone
Darkness is moving in
My day
Correcting poem
Writing new ones is over
Time for TV.
I have read the news
Not uplifting
Seeing Trump
The elected dictator
Triumphant boasts.
Why are the Americans
So stupid
Can he not see
He s shyster
Dragging you into
A new war
Marching happily
Into war for his benefit
Thousand of your soldiers
Die painfully
For his honour
Oh, you did not know Mrs. Klondike said.
Haughty, uppity, not nice in the least.
The festival has been moved and renamed.
The Aprillstica has been re-named?
No way!
I was horrified, shocked.
As my Aunt Bee was one of the original Villageonians,
I felt she should be bothered immediately.
“I know,” she sang gaily, in an unknown way into the phone.
“It was my idea.”
Her idea!
Now I was truly confused.
Had she gotten her pills mixed up again?
My Aunt Bee has not sounded this happy since 1971
When she married the newest “love” of her life who
Was her eighth husband, and a shyster like the others.
I quickly drove to Springton Nursing Home to see what was up.
“This is Harold,” she said in a voice I barely remembered.
A sing-songy, happy, uplifting voice.
Harry had initially had the idea to change Aprillstica Festival
To Marchatillion Festival.
Well, then, okay by me.
She is ninety-six after all, and running out
of charm.
I am a wedding planner, and
frankly, although I too am a Villageonian,
business has been slow….
Never Nice To Her
Of nothing burgers moron was a meister;
They said he is a fool and some shyster
Saw statistics;
Went ballistics;
When she he knew never is nice to her.
Jim Horn
Kin In Okinawa
In Okinawa is where we had some kin;
Trump a tower there building had been;
Was a shyster,
And a heister,
And off from my nose came much skin.
Jim Horn
11/17/15 Hate
I used to think I couldn’t hate
Well, not like this or that person
Their hate sounded hateful
“I hate when the dish washer doesn’t use hot water!”
“I’ll kill you if you don’t stay out of my business!”
“I hate lying, cheating, stealing…but (under his breath) not fornication”
“I hate animal cruelty”
“I hate slavery”
It was caused by misunderstanding
Fruitlessness and disgust and judgments
My thinking that way was tenuous at best
My hate came late
With the power of living in my own apartment
I hate the shyster
I hate the lazy
I hate the unforgiveness owed by us all
I hate the disobedience
I hate that we cannot always know
Or see
Or feel
Or be
Hate-free…
Darling, my darling baby,
Why do you not dance while I sing?
Why do you coil together like millipede?
Stretch out to me your satiny hands,
Lean your body on me sweet angel
And anoint me with your sweet scent
Like in the day of pentecost.
Today we shall shame the shyster
That often echoes in your ears the denying voice
That like cracking record repeats the tune of failure;
Today we shall triumph upon its soul in our victory
As we cuddle hand in hand in victorious amusement.
Be a queen that you are american
In your yummy attire that makes my head strong
And the mascara that lights your face like halogen
With the dangling beads like a bride in wedding day;
Wand your waist and make devil cry,
Flaunt your gift, today fear must weep;
Light you are, dwell not under a bushel.
No, you are not alone,
I am here,like the retaining wall, by your side,
Like the hunting dog and its bell,
You are the seed, I am the shell;
No , you are not rejected, you are not detested;
You are the taste,you are the fashion,you are today,
You are the honey, sweet honey who can spit?
Do it right-
Since you picked the fight,
Leave the bite!!!
How could you do such a terrible thing?
You just pawned your deceased father’s ring.
Think about that ring’s sentimental value.
To get cash, could there have been other things to do?
That guy is a shyster with his business dealings and such.
I’ll bet the amount you got was not much.
I kept telling you to stay out of that casino.
However, with your money, you continued to go.
Who pays for all that ritzy ambience and décor that you see?
The casinos get it from losers like you and me.
It is only normal that gamblers should lose their money.
If there’s a big win, it’s considered an abnormality.
Whatever you get each month you don’t save.
I’ll bet your old man is turning over in his grave.
With this money, go to the pawn shop today.
I want you to get that ring back right away.
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