i remember the day
i saw my belle.
stood before a great glass window
and oh, she was pretty.
young eyes, innocent cheeks,
one little, beautiful heart.
my glass belle,
whole,
smiling right back at me.
carried carefully
everywhere i went.
she's a delicate one, my belle is.
if my belle were simply older,
she would be worn at the edges.
but no -
broken is the little glass doll inside of me.
hurled,
dropped,
hammered.
and now, all that remains are shards.
and yet, i prize every shard.
especially those that make me bleed -
those that will never heal -
i will cherish those for eternity.
She walked into the room without any word, and with familiars eyes staring through her whispering a silent, "Why "?
And then walked past every mirror, hoping her reflection somehow change, become lighter figure.
A little more acceptable to a world that taught to fade when they were born to be seen?
And then she think why did society neglected the darker kids with a fade figure?
Then she stopped and looked at herself.
"I'm beautiful in every way. "
I'm just beautiful in the way I carry myself, ln the way I stand
In the way i represent my self without asking permission to take up space.
Brown skin are natural Tan
Glows with the every kiss the sun leaves upon me.
And my thick hair it is my mink coat, a crown of richness not everyone can afford .
I am the girl
Who learned to love her reflection, the girl who turned her scars into petals _
And the strongest flowers and the ones that“bloom through every season”
Some days the weight isn't heavy or loud,
just a fog that settles behind the eyes,
a persistent, low-hanging winter cloud
that blurs the shape of the morning skies.
We ask ourselves why we are tired or slow,
as if healing moves in a straight, clear line,
forgetting the seed buried under the snow
is working in secret before its design.
It takes courage to rest when the world demands speed,
to sit with the storm till the thunder subsides,
to listen with patience to what the heart needs,
instead of the pressure that daily decides.
You do not need to be cured by tonight,
nor prove that you’re whole to be worthy of space;
just stay in the room, let yourself see the light,
and meet your own spirit with unconditional grace.
Two years ago, our story closed,
Yet you lingered in the margins.
Two months ago, in a darkened theatre,
You held my hand like a secret kept,
A love hidden from another love.
I thought it was a return,
But it was only a hiding place —
You wanted the comfort of my yesterday,
While promising someone else tomorrow.
Today, I no longer check the stars for us,
I check my own worth.
And it whispers back, clear and calm:
I deserve more than a love shown in the dark.
I deserve a love that can stand in the light.
I am strong,
I am in control,
Today is my day —
I wrote this on the 10th of May.
On the 26th, I waited.
Two days before nineteen,
I did not want gifts,
Only love, only care, only effort.
A long wish at 12.
On the 28th, it was my birthday.
The clock struck 12, he did not.
At 6:30, a formal happy birthday arrived,
And it hurt me a lot that day.
I wrote my faults that night:
Overthinking,
Overloving,
Over-expecting.
But today I know,
Loving too much was never a fault.
Waiting for love at midnight was never too much.
My only fault was calling my love a fault.
Nobody stays till the last.
You will have only yourself.
So don't depend on others.
Be your own happiness.
It's done.
The flame doused, tears ebbed.
The hour I dreaded has come,
All feelings end.
It's here.
Numbed by long desperation
Beyond all pain and fear,
Estranged from emotion.
It's eternal.
Deaf to murmurs and whispers
Of souls, infernal.
I rise beyond shivers.
You can love a person
by not losing yourself;
And I have learnt it recently
after losing myself several times
for that one person I loved,
I still love, will love:
Rajeev, my second one,
after my first love died.
We went through separation several times,
life tested us, and we abandoned each other a thousand miles
metaphorically and physically too
and the mental distance continued.
Yet life brings us together again to check
maybe what's the maturity streak!
Have we learnt to love by keeping the boundaries too,
Or is it just another test and subscription renew?
This time I will not fail in this test,
I will choose myself first
and then will do the rest for my love's sake.
Yes, you can love someone
and still can't lose you!
You are the brave, the great, the beautiful,
you are always the first lover of you.
You can love someone,
but if they unlove, unfriend or disdain,
you should never afford to lose you.
Almighty always wants you to sustain
with the beautiful soul you are being given,
and should not lose yourself by anyone's disdain.
I built a mirror temple
and worshiped my reflection.
It shattered~
and the shards pointed upward.
I watch the world
Changing every day
The sun comes up
But never in the same way.
Freedom calls me
To soar thru the sky
To reach for my dreams
And learn how to fly.
I want to see things
The legends foretold
The treasures of the world
More valuable than gold.
I want to run swiftly
Among the flowers and trees
Exploring the unknown
Carefree like the bees.
Through the dense forest
Above the tall trees
Deep in the waters
My spirit flees.
The wind in my hair
The clouds passing by
Free as a bird
In the vast blue sky.
They say I'm young
Not responsible enough
But I will show them
I've grown tough.
I’m gonna make my mark
And show them all
I will become the legend
They tremble to call.
My courage will be known
For miles around
And my strength, though silent
Will stand its ground.
I cry silently,
My soul has wounds.
My breath pins,
In my chest.
My eyes tired,
Heavy, dry, & red.
My rest brings,
No comfort.
My face is empty,
A person not there.
Lost is my soul,
Wondering within.
Disconnection,
Punishment,
Withdrawal,
Unbearable.
I am who I am
Who else might I be
The goof, the ham
A whole oddity
I cannot correct
With all do respect
The me in myself
Flaws you detect
I won’t moderate
My soul won’t deflate
To fit in a square
Be basic, not great
I find, I’m a lot
A mess, a knot
Perhaps too much
But not a robot
I’ve tried to change
To rearrange
Blend in the crowd
The feeling was strange
I chose to retire
Instead of re wire
To temper myself
Would kill my fire
So I dried my eyes
For, I am just I
I chose to be me
Instead of a lie
An ambition to spread a message to exist in a self loving state
Manifesting joy let all anger abate
Bring about cohesion make everyone my best mate
Initiate much laughter each day i navigate
Take every opportunity to love a fellow man no need to castigate
Introduce a code of truth not one that's full of hate
Open up the heart messages from God will satiate
Nourishment of the soul it's never too late
little duck dawdles
looks at the pond for a face
face of white beauty
yellow feet of joy
sunshine of warmth from the sky
self growth mighty high
Flower in the hand of a gorilla is as lipstick on a pig as band aid on a bullet wound.
They may not get it,
Tell me there no point
And that I'm just wasting my energy,
But I see the beauty
And I know what I mean.
There is hope for me
yet
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