I open my eyes, drink my coffee,
And exchange a glance with the cat.
I also breathe in the fresh air,
Along with the air of cleaning up cat poop.
The cat I chose,
Whether it runs away or stays in my arms,
We each go our own way.
I no longer hold you back.
I have already swallowed the memories.
Even if you leave, I will not cry.
Just as we met again because we needed each other,
If needed someday, we shall meet again.
The smell of cat poop and urine in the restroom.
Blaming myself is only just beginning.
Like the Lord, the shepherd to you, my new baby cat,
I guide you and we set off on our journey once more.
a slimy brown turd
lurks deep in the toilet bowl
guess it’s a Kling on!
A student who hailed from Bombay
Eats curry for breakfast each day
On pakora he’d munch
As a snack or for lunch
The toilet is where he must stay
He suffers from dire 'Dheli belly'
Shared bathroom got terribly smelly
So he leased a commode
Where he’ll unleash his load
No studies, he poops watching telly!
His flatmate said, “Listen up Josh”
Your ling’ring stench means I can’t wash
Living with you is hell
I can’t cope with the smell
Flat sharing, I’m just gonna quash!
Oh to live life busy as a bee
Admiring flowers making honey
Then the fly comes along
Says the bee got it wrong
A pile of poop is the place to be
I once saw Cupid poop behind a tree in a field.
And, boy, was I surprised by the amount of his yield.
And when he was done,
I saw him strapped his quiver of arrows back on
and fly off to make another two one.
Though craving their sweet choc chip pieces
I’m boycotting candy by Meeses
I loathe, nay abhor
This global trade war
Trump's tariffs – what a crock of faeces!
“Stop farting Fred,” poor Sally begs -
She’s being gassed and needs nose pegs
“You won’t use a cook book
When it’s your turn to cook
It’s always baked beans with fried eggs!”
I have a rifle,
you have a double-barreled shotgun -
you're just old fashioned that way.
The cat, the black and white cat,
is watching everything from the barn.
I am just letting you know
that we don't have to fight it out like this,
even though your fence-line
is clearly 2 inches over my spread!
The cat is considering moving to town.
Why don't you go back
to where you came from,
over there –
2 inches away.
I often voice record poems when I’m defecating on the toilet –
I wonder, could this be considered as poetry dumping…
just askin for a friend lol
NB As the Queen of Poop I will NEVER be 'de turd' from posting my poems on what is a poetry site
Defecation, constipation, urination... it's toilet humour!
At least I'm just a crap poet ... sadly some folk are just full of it
God MUST have a sense of humour - because he created me and YOU!
Touching on the silver glow.
When you touch it,
You'll know it.
It's designed to keep
You running back.
This Spiritual snack.
Keeping you open for attack,
As you sink back into the
World, askew and absconded,
Trying to conjure
Between worried wait:
The Science of the mind
And the love we thought we'd find.
Point me towards the house I will live in.
Let me punch in the numbers and access the pin.
I've guessed wrong more times than I can count.
But beyond the hill, they say, is a silver glow
Of limitless amount.
But don't take my word for it.
A little bird turd me about it.
Some numpty bad mouthed my soup style
I’ve taken a break for a while
But I won't be deterred
From writing about turd
And subjects some others deem vile
I’m producing book number two
It contains some poems on poo
Foul flatus departing
Old codgers rank farting
And my pet hate vile doggy doo!
Sting of the first stink is like an essence that brings their souls to addiction
January 9, 2024, PST, BC
A student at Turdbois Uni
Is studying Scatology
Sue must write a thesis
On impacted faeces
She admits it’s a crap degree!
My turds float like choc’late marshamallows
Just lurking about in the shallows
I guess that my butt
Is truly kaput
So doctor suggests bitter aloes
I questioned such treatment regime
Doc said it may keep my butt clean
Aloe on my finger
Won’t cause me to linger
And floaters will look like whipped cream
Doc chuckled and said “Listen here
Your floaters are nothing to fear”
Poop floats cos you’ve gas
Which is passed through your ass
No treatment’s required my dear.
DISCLAIMER - THIS IS NO REFLECTION ON THE STATE OF MY BOWELS JUST NEEDED A LITTLE LIGHTHEARTED RELIEF AFTER A VERY CHALLENGING WEEK
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