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Chocks Away - Poop Poem Warning

My turds float like choc’late marshamallows
Just lurking about in the shallows
I guess that my butt
Is truly kaput
So doctor suggests bitter aloes

I questioned such treatment regime
Doc said it may keep my butt clean
Aloe on my finger
Won’t cause me to linger
And floaters will look like whipped cream

Doc chuckled and said “Listen here
Your floaters are nothing to fear”
Poop floats cos you’ve gas
Which is passed through your ass
No treatment’s required my dear.

DISCLAIMER - THIS IS NO REFLECTION ON THE STATE OF MY BOWELS JUST NEEDED A LITTLE LIGHTHEARTED RELIEF AFTER A VERY CHALLENGING WEEK

Copyright © Jan Allison | Year Posted 2023

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John Read Date: 10/10/2024 9:18:00 AM Your bowels are as sound as a bell, infact they're working quite well, maybe in time, no one will mind, if it wasn't for the smell. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/10/2024 9:39:00 AM ha ha ha i love your witty reply!! hugs jan xx

Jack Horne Date: 10/29/2023 6:56:00 AM LOL, love this - thought I'd keep yours till last & finish with a laugh x Login to Reply

Ellen Gwaltney Bales Date: 10/19/2023 9:18:00 PM As the children's book says, "Everybody poops!" How true, and your images are delightful, if a little off-putting. I may never eat marshmallows and chocolate again! Ellen Login to Reply

Kim Rodrigues Date: 10/19/2023 3:46:00 AM Congratulations on “pooping out” a POTD! Login to Reply

Andrea Dietrich Date: 10/18/2023 12:10:00 PM Oh my, you went overboard on this one. Floaters. hahaha. Login to Reply

David Fisher Date: 10/16/2023 5:38:00 PM Lol! If bitter aloes on a finger is the cure, then maybe I'd give up, lol. Too funny. Login to Reply

Deb M Date: 10/16/2023 4:12:00 AM Congratulations on POTD “Queen of Poopster” A toilet talk poop winner which by the comments is enjoyed by many! You have a gift of lightening the load Ha! bringing humour and a smile to many…..we all need light and fluffy (chocalate m’mallows ha) in our lives! You are a clever humorous poet Jan! Debx Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/16/2023 7:22:00 AM lol thanks so much Deb, I dont mind lightening the load and make folk smile if I can and I can dump out poop poems quite easily - this took 4 mins to write after i got the prompt from Lin lol:-)hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y. Date: 10/15/2023 2:41:00 PM Lol! Jan, We all need light-hearted humor from time to time. No one delivers light-hearted/ humor like the Limerick Queen. This was no exception. Congratulations on getting the poem of the day;-) Alexis Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/16/2023 7:22:00 AM I'm delighted Alexis thanks so much :-) hugs Jan xx

Mark Hughes Date: 10/15/2023 7:24:00 AM Jan, apparently you are the Queen of Fecal matters!! Love your work!! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/15/2023 8:59:00 AM lol Mark yes i proudly have the title Queen of Poop on poetry soup, in fact one lovely poet sent me a diamante crown and lots of poop emoji things from America! my poop may not be to everyone's taste but thankfully we all write in different styles or soup would be boring. hugs jan xx

Mahtab Bangalee Date: 10/14/2023 11:10:00 PM “Listen here Your floaters are nothing to fear”//yep; nice to read you; congrats for being selected this beautiful poem as POD Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/15/2023 4:28:00 AM thanks so much Mahtab:-) hugs Jan xx

Sam Scott Date: 10/14/2023 8:47:00 PM My Cocoa Krispies may never taste the same.. but thank you for the smiles, Jan x Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/15/2023 4:28:00 AM thanks so much Sam:-) hugs jan xx

Beryl Edmonds Date: 10/14/2023 6:25:00 PM Hilarious Jan as your poop poetry always is, humour is what we all need right now… Belle Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/15/2023 4:28:00 AM thanks Belle, I know it doesn't float some folks boat but I will never stop trying to make folk smile with my silly poems. :-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf Date: 10/14/2023 6:23:00 PM Glad to hear your butt is not kaput, dear! lol. Congrats on POTD! ~ Light Hart Ed (cousin of Lite Farts Fred). Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/15/2023 4:25:00 AM ha ha ha thanks GW:-) hugs Jan xx

Hilda Greenhough Date: 10/14/2023 5:03:00 PM I don't know why I like this so much, butt I do. I'm keeping it as one of my favorites. Thank you. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/14/2023 5:27:00 PM lol Hilda my poop poetry makes me the butt of many jokes by some people in the poetry community who consider they write 'real' poetry but i will never stop trying to make folk smile. thanks for the fave it is much appreciated:-) hugs Jan xx

Susan Lawrence Date: 10/14/2023 2:23:00 PM Hysterical Jan ! We need laughter now more than ever . Thanks for making it happen . Hugs and congratulations on POTD! Susan :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/14/2023 4:09:00 PM Totally agree Susan I am trying to buck the trend and make folk smile and rest assured I will not be driven away by negativity from trolls on the site:-) hugs jan xx

Paula Goldsmith Date: 10/14/2023 12:20:00 PM Congratulations on your POTD win. A cute/fun write. Thanks for the laugh. Sorry about your very challenging week. Make sure you laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh.... Have a blessed day/weekend............................. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/14/2023 4:07:00 PM thanks Paula life sucks at times doesnt it but we will get through and a smile and a giggle go a long way to improving one's quality of life and mental health too:-) hugs Jan x

Maureen McGreavy Pigeon Tart Date: 10/14/2023 8:59:00 AM Dying over here ;D Congratulations Lovely!!! xomo Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/14/2023 4:06:00 PM The reaction I am getting with this poem fills my heart with joy. I will never bow down to pressure to change the way I write and will not stop trying to make folk smile:-) hugs jan xx

Len Gasun Date: 10/14/2023 7:32:00 AM HA HA HA HA HA So hilarious my dear poet friend Jan. You gave me a thorough exercise of jaws and facial muscles this evening. So glad I've read this very entertaining and funny limerick of yours. Congratulations on POTD my dear poet friend! Thanks for sharing. Blessings to you always. Hugs Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/14/2023 3:59:00 PM I am so glad I made you smile Len:-) hugs Jan xx

Bill Baker Date: 10/14/2023 7:29:00 AM Congratulations on your POTD, Jan! You really got the Limerick form of poetry down. Have a good day and enjoy the recognition, my friend. Bill Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/14/2023 3:58:00 PM I never wrote limericks until i joined soup in 2014 in fact i was a total novice to writing as I never enjoyed poetry at school:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper Date: 10/14/2023 7:26:00 AM Sorry, I didn't know you got poem of the day. Congratulations, this cute. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/14/2023 7:27:00 AM aww thanks again Eve:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper Date: 10/14/2023 7:25:00 AM Cute verse my dear. Got a laugh from it. God bless you. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/14/2023 7:26:00 AM Thanks Eve:-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May Date: 10/14/2023 6:48:00 AM Lol, a floater with a whipped cream swirl, Congrats on POTD Jan... Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/14/2023 6:49:00 AM ha ha ha. this poem is going to put me off hot chocolate for many a day lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Linda Alice Fowler Date: 10/14/2023 6:43:00 AM Hilarious Jan! Thanks for keeping us laughing and congratulations on POTD! :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/14/2023 6:49:00 AM Thanks Linda, my humour isn't to everyone's taste, but rest assured I am here to stay to try and raise a smile once in a while:-) hugs Jan xx

Malabika Ray Choudhury Date: 10/14/2023 6:03:00 AM Congratulations on your POTD, Dear Jan. You really make me smile! Love ~ Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/14/2023 6:17:00 AM Thanks so much Malabika, if I can make folk smile that is all I want:-) hugs Jan xx

Warren Doll Date: 10/14/2023 5:47:00 AM Jan, Congratulations on POTD. Talk about providing lighthearted relief You sure accomplished it. ~ Warren xx oo Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/14/2023 6:17:00 AM ha ha ha thanks Warren, there is so much sadness in the world we need some humour in our lives:-) hugs Jan xx

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