Long Poop Poems
Long Poop Poems. Below are the most popular long Poop by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Poop poems by poem length and keyword.
My life has never been happier
I'm as happy as poop as they say
Don't know if I deserve such joy
But I'm not about to question it
For fear it might break the spell
It's easy to be overwhelmed
By all the negatives that are constantly
Going on all around the world
Why me? Why have I been chosen
It's just such a mystery
A lot of people are really overwhelmed
By the news we hear daily
Yet I'm sailing along singing a happy tune
Just can't help it
If there was some way to pass along this joy
I surely would but I don't know how
How can I pass along this positive attitude
I've always managed to maintain
Even during my most trying of times
I wish everyone could feel as I do
I'm as happy as poop every day
© Jack Ellison 2015
This site is da bomb, my haven so to speak
It's where I go to mellow out
Away from the ugly news of the day
That we constantly hear about
Without the Soup, my life would be boring
I'd walk around mumbling away
Oblivious to the big old world passing by
Whatta great way to start the day
So many great people call P-Soup their home
Scattered throughout this big planet
Personalities as varied as the fish in the ocean
So many, they run the damn gamut
From witty, to clever, intellectual to romantic
We all call it home sweet home
A retreat, a getaway from all of life's hassles
A place to let our true hearts roam
So let's hear some of that thunderous applause
For those who bring us the Soup
All of us would probably fade into oblivion
Instead, we're just happy as poop
© Jack Ellison 2015
It's a cold and rainy, nasty old day
Methinks I'll just stay inside today
Dream about love and happy things
Things that make my old heart sing
Recalling the joyous days of my youth
Wasn't outgoing, a surprising truth
Wasn't until very many years later
Finally became a mover and shaker
Now it's impossible to keep me down
Known worldwide as a bit of a clown
Happy as poop in this role that I'm cast
I'm a No.1 clown right down to the last
Sometimes I'll still write about mush
Remember the feeling and start to gush
Now I remember that familiar old stirring
Suddenly the feeling is recurring
So I sit for a while and think about nature
Cause now I'm known as The Lone Ranger
© Jack Ellison 2015
Oh for the days of my long lost youth
Making paper airplanes, watching em glide
Looping like barnstorming pilots of the 30s
Above the tree tops like birds they fly
Our imagination never saw paper airplanes
We saw ourselves as pilots on board
Soaring skyward with not a worry in the world
We could even hear the engines roar
Another favourite pastime was climbing trees
Just like masts on a pirate ship
Looking out on the ocean with a telescope
A musket hanging from my hip
Another fantasy, being a famous hockey star
Heard the cheering of adoring fans
Dreaming at night, scoring the winning goal
No more school, no more final exams
Oh for the old days, hmm perhaps I'll rethink that
It's pretty damn good from where I sit
Each stage of life has it's own special happening
Now? I'm happy as poop!!!
Well cross my eyes and call me Lucy
Met the sweetest lady of the group
She turns my crank, gets my motor a-racing
For poetry I don't give a poop
Should rename the site “Met A Sweetie”
More appropriate don't ya think
This real cutie's on my mind the whole day
From her cup of nectar I drink
Age doesn't matter when it's a fantasy affair
Thirty years doesn't mean a thing
As long as our cravings are satisfied each day
The world continues to sing
Met a great big bunch of sweet ladies here
Not enough digits to count em'
All I can say is my whole life's enriched
Each of these darlings is a gem
So this is my way of thanking The Soup
Where our creativity is nourished
Making all our lives a lot more worth living
And allowing friendships to flourish
My Bad Day
By Robert Austin Allison
My Bad Day
by Robert Austin Allison
Why'd you act like a fool - a total disgrace,
When you joked to me about my wife's face ?
You were laughing like it was funny,
But that's my wife - my honey !
It made me want to knock you down,
All the way to the ground .
But first you'd get a left - then a right,
Then I'd say goodnight.
As you fall to the floor
Screaming "No More - No More" !
Then I'd sit on your face,
Take a dump - Give you a taste,
Of my extremely Toxic Waste !
You made my day so much worse,
I wished you were in a hearse !
My day wasn't really going all that bad,
Just maybe feeling a little sad -
Remembering the birthday of my dad.
I can't call or visit to show him some love,
Because he lives in Heaven above.
Next time you want to run your mouth,
Make sure the "Poop" runs further south !
There isn't much more I want to say,
Except F. U. and Have A Nice Day !
Sorry about the F.U. part. I don't cuss but this is
my way of getting the point across that I was
really pee'd off. I'm not a fighter either but if I
was, this is how I'd see it being played out.
This co-worker was talking smack
about my wife and thought it was funny. Then at
lunch time he was repeating the story to someone
else and laughing about it again ! The day this
occurred was the anniversary of my Dad's passing
away. I had started trying to write a poem about my
dad but couldn't finish because of the drama. Hope
you enjoyed this poem. My other poems haven't
reached this level but it wasn't a day to mess with me.
"I don't call them New Year's Resolutions. I prefer the term:
Casual Promises to myself that I am under no legal obligation
to fulfill." ~ jamonkey.com
I've given thought, after a titch of consideration,
to make New Year's resolutions... such a vexation
I hesitated to do so without serious contemplation
because quite often I'm led astray by temptation
I will write better poetry to post on the Soup
Be more productive among my peer group
Mind my own business, on others I won't snoop
But won't swear not to write limericks about poop.
I will waive my penchant for chocolate... well, maybe
That will be the most difficult resolution to keep for me
I vow to give up margaritas and switch to sweet tea
And I'll put it all in writing. I'll even sign that decree!
I will not let sticks and stones break my bones
I'll just blame it on an imbalance of her hormones
Or on a guy who acts like one of the Flintstones
Maybe on a plethora of a million other unknowns
I will forgive anyone who screams at me in rants
I will not respond like there are ants in my pants
I seriously promise that I will give peace a chance
Smoke a peace pipe instead of doing a war dance
I will consider it a compliment to be called 'mean girl'
By anyone who derogatorily behaves like a churl
I'll have more patience, so my temper doesn't unfurl
And smile more often. I'll give that thought a whirl
I will make it a definite priority as one of my goals
To walk away from bullies and persnickety trolls
Wooly wolves who pretend to be sheep in their roles
But who expose themselves as taunting buttholes
I am determined to start eating much healthier food
knowing it's a required taste that I've not yet accrued
I believe I will enjoy life more with a positive attitude
And ignore negative folks who like practicing turpitude
I will do my utmost best not to break one resolution
But if I do, I must supplicate for leniency and absolution
I'll not give up a resolution without making a substitution
If you see me cheating, take my chocolate as retribution
BI-POLAR BEAR COLLABORATION WITH JAN ALLISON
I love living in the Arctic
The cold I find so cathartic
But you must beware
I'm bi-polar bear
If crossed I can be anarchic
I'm really a huge white bi-polar bear
You can take my photograph, laugh and stare
But if you come too near
You'll have reason to fear
If I'm in Hyde's mood you'd better take care!
I'm usually very docile and quite nice
Relaxing on the shelves of polar ice
For food I am howling
My tummy is growling
I need to catch some tasty fish to slice
I possess great big furry white paws
But at times I can show my sharp claws
So don’t mess with me
Cos I can be nasty
My emotions have no get out clause
I don't really like eating seal blubber
It's tasteless as a tire made of rubber
And I don't like to swim
Unless I have the whim
I should have been born as a land lubber
My smile can turn into a frown
One minute I’m up, next I’m down
I can lash out at you
So whatever you do
Don’t call me a stupid bear clown
When I'm feeling like good Doctor Jekyll
I don't care if you tease me or heckle
I'll toss you my poop
Big scoop after scoop
Til I've covered all your little freckles
On a good day I’ll smile so nice
Enjoying white fish which I’ll dice
See me bask in the sun
Then I’ll go for a run
And play with my friends on the ice
I feel a weird change, a rumbling inside
An avalanche of emotions, a landslide
My claws are extended
Your visit has ended
Red mist all around ~ turning into Hyde!
The truth, it cannot be denied
I’m a bit like Jekyll and Hyde
You'd better leave town
When red mist comes down
Or run to take cover and hide!
He preached a pious excrement like any other politician.
Her smut seemed poetic until she took her knickers off.
Her light burned all night, but her heart was always dark.
His evil odiousness soon ran out of gas, but never his bowels.
Nothing is sacred if dog poop and daffodils are not.
There is more sexuality in one word than in ten brothels.
His reality was a bad dream and we all lived in his mind.
Seraphic activists will hunt you down with a righteous frown.
If you are a jerk
then the order of holy men, is your sacred calling.
Dorothea, put that sacrificial knife down!
I am always alone in a crowd, fortunately.
There's been a breaking news report about Santa's reindeer.
While flying over Russia, they were lassoed by vile Vladimir!
"I'm determined to ruin Christmas for everyone this year.
Too many smiling faces in the world," he said with a sneer.
An envelope arrived at the Kremlin. Postage was first class.
And a note scribbled from a poet's hand, that was rather crass.
It read, Here's a gift for you. I found it in a pile on my grass.
I hope it reminds you of the poop that plopped from your ass.
Putin was enraged! Someone took a photo of his snarling jeer.
When it was shown on the news, the world let out a cheer!
He's going to take revenge, and wants everyone to live in fear
but I think there's a hero who's going to take down Vladimir.
The one who'll save Christmas is a jolly man in a red suit.
Usually he's kind to others, but not to one of such ill repute.
He'll get back all eight reindeer and his sleigh filled with loot
and tie up old Valdimir, that obnoxious murderous brute!
Santa wasn't injured when putrid Putin captured the reindeer.
Laying a finger beside his nose, he got himself into first gear.
"I'll nuke him," Santa said, "Blast his butt out the hemisphere!
Then deliver toys to girls and boys. Fly home and have a beer."