Long Poop Poems

Note to Readers of Previous Versions:
There are so many new vignettes scattered throughout the poem that I hope you will reread the whole thing! There are many new GEMS, improvements to previous verses and improved...

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So bridge to bridge, of other things speaking
Of which my comedy does not take care,
We walked; and reached the top, when seeking
For watching the next slit, then we stopped there
Malebolge to see and crying vain;
And...

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KGOD presents ...

SALUTATIONS!!! 

Well.  Let’s just get started! 
Here at the Ogden!  The God den of music and soul! 
So, let me introduce myself to thee, 
I am DJ Multi-Di-Minstrel Messenger!!! 
Thanking you...

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 After graduating from UF, in the early '80s I wrote the book, lyrics and score for a musical adaptation of Moliere's farce Le Malade Imaginaire ("The Imaginary Invalid") and have decided to post five...

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Thus it begins—
A free-verse epic
Into the mind of
A writer and an idiot—
A romantic and, 
Often a pessimist
Conjoined in arbitrary glory
Are the thoughts and words 
Of one overly-worked mind—
Charismatic and, of course,
On the pushover, pitiful
And usually...

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Those who get,
get more.
Those who want,
want more.

Evolution is not survival of the fittest species,
but thrival of the greatest fit with least endosymbiotic change required
within,
whether we speak of polycultural enrichment
or meta-paradigmatic revolutions in understanding multicultural enrichment.

Evolution...

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Is Joss Whedon ‘I AM?’ (1) Christ Reincarnate?
                  I Think That That’s Doubtful!

More than Trump ‘IS’ (1) (by...

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If you would like to have your limerick(s) posted, soup mail them to me.

Ms. Rude is still writing her snide remarks
She sounds like a mad dog who barks and barks
Geeze, lady, give it a rest
Your...

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Last evening I noticed another disconcerting Trump headline.
This felt and smelled more like a deadline
for disintegration
than a lifeline,
a bootstrap, if you will,
toward integrity of health and regenerative safety,
which I thought was front and center
in our...

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I am playing with my dollies
And my princess pram all pink
I'm nearly 5
A big girl now
No more nappies
Or plastic pants
I think

I outgrew the potty
When I was only three
My mum says it's because I am brave
Now...

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Twice told toilet tale – a cheeky execrable gross fable

which poetic product best be affixed 
with hashtag STINKY label.

As a young whippersnapper
and one precocious lad to boot,
I discovered common combustible materials
found in the bathroom.

At opportune...

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The moral mortgage of mice and men 

Yours truly quite astute,
especially regarding cute
little field mice, also known 
as meadow voles,
which imprecation one doth emote,
when aforementioned animal burrows inside
leaving pellet size poop in their wake
suddenly presenting...

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I have heard many moms repeat
"You never stop being a parent."

Sadly, I don't see or hear that quite so much from the dads,
although I know of remarkably nurturing exceptions.

I thought of this as my impossibly...

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Limricks prompted by a comment made by someone today

It's a fact, and no longer just a rumor
Some soup people barf at toilet humor
Have you sniffed your own butt 
It stinks so keep it shut
Pessimism must...

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Now, I am not a huge man

I'm not large by any means

In fact it is surprising

I still wear normal jeans

My pants don't have elastics

I still use normal towels

But, my BMI stats tell me

I'm a word...

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[My recent poem ‘The Dimly Lit House’ received a
Comment from Charles Messina that it could be a Tom and 
Jerry episode… what can I say? Something went ‘Ping!’]

       ...

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Folk purchase this celeb’s new candle
 It’s something my brain cannot handle
 ‘Smells like my v’gina’ 
Could give folk angina
 This fragrance has caused quite a scandal 

Inspired by a comment from a fancy friend...

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Itsy Bitsy the tiny pixy always wore a frown
for the other pixys treated him like a clown
The other pixy boys did not want Itsy Bitsy around
Itsy Bitsy flew too slow with small wings that were...

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Sometimes,
not often enough,
I stop my morning routine
to watch the feeding drama breathe feathered flurries in and out,
on, 
and under,
my side-yard bird feeder

Outside my kitchen windows
over this morning's sudsy sink,
looking across a twinkling white field
of early...

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My metaphor came to me this morning , used his tail to smash my face thrice to tell me that it's 8:30 nd I can't avoid my class , to tell me it's 8:30 nd...

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Mother Goose would find her tail feathers ruffled 

Hey diddle diddle 
the cat and the fiddle
when off to see 
a crooked man and woman,
whilst cowards jumped 
over moo ving little
pair of mismatched muggles,
who both walked...

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Ability to defecate wildly swings (both ways)...
between incontinence and constipation

Irritable bowel syndrome i.e.
the former excretory bout I address
the above (polite way to phrase diarrhea)
and avoid moon efficient cheekiness,
yours truly doth buttress,
a literal warranted pain in...

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Alien talk I can’t understand
A Pifflewig performed a handstand
He verbalised through his ass
Gross putrid wind he did pass
Like many blokes throughout the land!

I farted, perhaps it was fear
Foul wind was expelled from my rear
The pifflewig...

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I will eviscerate you with wit 
            and promise to make it uncomfortable to sit... 
        ...

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“The Penelope Squad”



A line of bluebirds 
tittering on a line
swaying on the winds
like comedian pageboys 
having a good time
poop in the peg bucket
words wooden and sharp
fly off with frosty notes
dirt and sherry stains
imprinted on 
Penelope’s...

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