Home » Poems » Jan Allison » Absolute proof that I am the queen of poop

Notes About The Poem

Strictly a tongue firmly in cheek poem but I do have a voice recorder on my phone which has been invaluable for noting down thoughts and ideas for my next book. I had nearly 100 recordings made over the last week – of course not all of it voiced when I was on my poetry throne lol 10/13/24

Absolute proof that I am the queen of poop


I often voice record poems when I’m defecating on the toilet –

I wonder, could this be considered as poetry dumping…

just askin for a friend lol

NB As the Queen of Poop I will NEVER be 'de turd' from posting my poems on what is a poetry site

for herhumorouspoetrywordmonoku

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Paul Callus

October 27, 2024 at 4:11 AM

Thanks for the laugh, Jan :) Play on words comes so natural to you. Sorry have not been around much...life is full to the brim lol. ~ Regards & hugs // paul

Michael Tor

October 26, 2024 at 8:21 AM

You made me flush I mean blush with this one Jan and reminded me to get a plunger at the hardware store. Keep us laughing and flushing , I mean blushing. LOL... PS in your recordings don't let the silly sounds interrupt your focus lol...

Michael Tor

October 26, 2024 at 8:37 AM

One more Jan. I was out with a friend. We went out and had lunch I hadn't seen him in a while. We ordered our meals and enjoyed them. The waitress came over and asked, " How was your lunch?" My friend without skipping a beat replied, "It will make a Turd, thank you for asking." The look on the waitress face was priceless. I did have to apologize for him.

Sam Kauffman

October 25, 2024 at 11:24 AM

"De-turb" indeed, Queen Jan! You remind me that inspiration "can," and will, strike any time and anywhere it pleases. Thanks for the giggles and tehes this morning! Let's not flush away inspiration! Hugs and blessings!!!

Daniel Henry Rodgers

October 23, 2024 at 4:52 AM

Dear Jan, Well you made me laugh this morning and perhaps our best ideas come while we are on the toilet. LOL! Autumn Blessings, My Dear Friend, Daniel

Eileen Manassian

October 21, 2024 at 1:58 PM

Oh dear! Jan... you're brilliant. Loved the "dec turd" bit. How do you do it??? The poem, I mean ;)

Andrea Dietrich

October 16, 2024 at 7:52 PM

Good one, my friend. Sounds like my hubbie on the phone. I am only the throne for a short time and one reason only!

Jan Allison

October 16, 2024 at 11:59 PM

im not often long lol

Karen Croft

October 14, 2024 at 12:12 PM

That's too funny, my son just looked at me and shook his head ;-)

Jan Allison

October 14, 2024 at 2:35 PM

ha ha ha - he has a great mum with a fab sense of humour lol:-) never be 'de turd' from posting Karen, i think I've made my point on the recent blogs:-)

Tania Kitchin

October 14, 2024 at 5:40 AM

Jan, haha, so funny, you really are the queen of poop thanks for sharing where your inspiration starts!

Jan Allison

October 14, 2024 at 9:16 AM

ha ha ha Tania , it is not often i do sit on the loo and voice record but it has happened a couple of times and also when i am relaxing in the bath I have come up with an idea and have to get it down before i forget it:-) hugs Jan x

Mandy Tams The Golden Girl

October 14, 2024 at 1:29 AM

Ha Ha ha love it, and thanks for visiting my poemsagain, Jan. Yes your first book is like your first child, you just keep looking and touching. Rise of the Ripper is my 4th. xxx

Jan Allison

October 14, 2024 at 2:13 AM

I was so proud of my first proof copy - thought it was perfect, then a work colleague said - you need to move the poems down so there is more space between title and poems, you need to move poems on left hand page so they can be further away from the margin - she was very blunt and I felt hurt at criticising my 'baby' - BUT she was 100% correct and when i got my second proof copy it was so much better, of course it was my first book and so its understandable I made errors with the formatting of the pages and wont make the same mistakes with the next one! I know Harry worked with you on your books, he was so generous in encouraging me with my desire to self publish and I think of him often. hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso

October 13, 2024 at 11:27 PM

Next time though please knock and let me get off the pot first ok? LOL

Jan Allison

October 14, 2024 at 2:10 AM

ha ha ha comment of the year lol you crease me up:-) hugs Jan xx

Abdullah Alhemaidy

October 13, 2024 at 9:23 PM

In my view, you are one of the queens in front and in rear parts of the ship. Have a nice time :-) Hugs ~ AA

Jan Allison

October 14, 2024 at 2:09 AM

aww thanks Abdullah!:-) hugs jan xx

Kim Rodrigues

October 13, 2024 at 2:18 PM

Such a nut! There is a meme of Sesame Street’s Elmo on the toilet, pehaps toiling away with poetry.

Jan Allison

October 13, 2024 at 2:49 PM

lol Kim :-) some folk talk a lot of crap - I just write it lol:-) 3 more book poems written up tonight and i still need to deal with the stuff on my phone lol - i can make numerous recordings of the same idea, just saying my thoughts out loud helps with the rhyme - it can be a problem when im walking down the street and need to say poopy words out loud so i have to whisper lol:-) hugs Jan xx

John Read

October 13, 2024 at 2:13 PM

Dear Jan in my opinion your the Queen of Poe_etry i hope it's not been too much of a strain. Xx

Jan Allison

October 13, 2024 at 2:50 PM

wise words John but believe me at the moment its easier said than done:-) least I got POTW as a result of whats going on in the soup bowl, so its all good lol:-) hugs Jan xx

John Read

October 13, 2024 at 2:21 PM

Jan it's best to avoid the blogs, there's two many snowflakes on their, do what I do, ignore them eventually they'll melt away.

Jan Allison

October 13, 2024 at 2:16 PM

ha ha ha thanks John:- thought i would 'lighten the load' after all the crap on the blogs lol:-) hugs Jan xx