I had overeaten.
So I reached inside myself
And pulled up whatever could be pulled up
From strength that I could muster up
I labored long and hard
And eventually brought forth
Snow capped mountains
And sky scrapers dignified by the rays of the sun
And the tallest pines with cones intact
And stars draped with clouds, silver lined
And song birds with half-sung melodies resting on their beaks
And butterflies with awe-inspiring wings, extended and poised for flight
And rainbows that captured the very essence of past promises.
Exhilarated and exhausted, I wept
Not due to any emptiness or lack
But due to the incredible, unspeakable beauty of the lone rose
That remained anchored to my innermost parts.
I was spent but at peace
We are stil here musing toying
about frolicking throughout
the galaxy only he and I can
muster up the courage to
devour life's simple pleasures
crafted and so well hidden
a little bit of heaven on earth
that we share like freshest
peaches on a lazy river he
and i humming my favorite
songs somewhere beyond
the sea somewhere over
the rainbow colorful hearts
pour from the sky splashing
us beneath the sun rays as
we run for cover between
colorful hues dazzled by day
by night singing the blues
he and I are the only ones left
alive all our troubles has gone
leaving us here right here
right now we are still here
Did you buy loads and loads of tissues to wipe my tears ?
Did you get a superhero shield to fight my fears ?
Did you learn how to be a friend to this lonely soul ?
Did you buy enough clothes to fit into every role?
Did you grow your muscles to hold me when I fall ?
Did you grow enough to call me grown when I play with my doll ?
Did you study medicine to heal my deep invisible scars ?
Did you sleep well to stay the night to watch the stars?
Did you buy a dictionary to compliment me on every simple thing ?
Did you learn to get hurt when I don't act like a human being ?
Did you do every single thing to be the perfect one for me ?
Did you leave all you loved to let me be the one I wanna be ?
Did you get a bigger heart to like me even if I don't like you ?
Did you muster up enough courage to happily say goodbye when I leave you for somebody new ?
These storms will pass
The waters will be calm again
The darkness will disappear
The sky is gonna be clear again
Chasing away the gloom
The sun will be back
Shining brighter than ever
Your conscience will guide you
Your wisdom will show you the way
You’ll find that precious land
That you’d been yearning for long
Where you’d find your peace
Where you’d find your ultimate happiness
Where you really belong
Muster up the courage
Embrace the hardships and
Conquer your fear from within
Be strong on your own
With each passing day
You’re gonna be the light
You’re gonna be the shelter
To your little saplings
To your beloved ones
Just a little more and
You’re gonna be there
You’re gonna do it
Hold on tight!!!
And never give up!
Never ever give up!!!
It's time for me to make a change
My life I need to re-arrange
Before it spins into a wreck
Hopefully there's still a speck
Of glimmer and hope so I
Can muster up the strength and try
For finding another chance
As my life gets more enhanced
With good that I've never known
Only bad days have been shown
In my life---I can't remember
A happy time that has never
Turned into so wrong and bad
I wish I could finally have
A smile upon my face
And get out of the sad place
That has tortured me for years
I want to cry happy tears
As hours are getting brighter
And my heart is so much lighter
Filled with joy and happiness
That are plenty and endless
And I know it will soon start
As another lonely heart
Understands where I have been
Soon becoming best of friends
Helping one another through
With love that is always there
In face of fear, to find the strength to stand,
And look upon the danger in the eye,
To muster up the courage, heart in hand,
And face the challenge, or prepare to die.
To know that in the end, you may not win,
But still to fight with all the strength you've got,
To rise above the fear, to not give in,
To stand up tall, to give it all you've got.
For courage is not absence of all fear,
But rather standing tall in its embrace,
To take the challenge, even when unclear,
And push ahead with boldness and with grace.
So let us strive to have courage each day,
And face life's challenges in every way.
She's a little girl with big dreams,
But she's doubting her potential all the time, it seems.
She asks herself if she has all that it takes,
Will she ever be able to muster up the courage, before the day breaks?
She's trying hard, the best she can,
But doesn't everybody at some point fail, even the most extraordinary man?
She's putting in, all her heart and soul,
To achieve that one big, challenging goal.
She, like every teen alike, doesn't know what's in store for her,
But she's afraid, that if she ever falls, would her future be just blurr?
Oh, the questions are many, the answers few,
She just hopes, there's some guiding light that comes to her rescue!
Dont want to pour my heart out on this sheet
The only thing you seem to want from me
Is between my legs thighs and cheeks
Lips mouth and esophagus
And to you thats all I am worth
Why shed tears for one that doesnt have the slightest emotion to gather or muster up a or a care
I Hate the fact that I love you
I Hate how affectionate I am towards you
I Hate that you neglect my emotions
Set aside my feelings and remain in the state of oblivion to what it means to actually be there for me
Abuse my vulnerabilities
Cast aside my insecurities
Laugh at my tears
My Heart I still give and you act as if its not even there
I prayed to God tonight to please erase the feelings I have for you
Truly and Sincerely, I hope he does that for me
I Appreciate all of his blessings
Dont want to ask for too much
But this one...I really need
Triangulation strangulation
can you live up to the competition
add gas lighting and narcissism
a very frightening composition
Muster up to the cluster B
find yourself discarded like a soiled sheet
devoid of compassion
lack of empathy
once you really see
past the screen
the mask has slipped
and so many have peeked
now you panic
validation you need
so you pray on young
dumb nieve and weak
seek out a victim
to bleed dry and supply your need
your needs for weed dont come cheap
pull the supply and see the demon freak
neurotic psycotic rage and crazy speak
implant viral seeds a vile display
and then you leave.
The Seasons of Style
the season of style
like a vernal pool edged round
raked and baked by the elements
of which it was formed; cracks
a trend seamless and current
flowing from detergent springs
as bubbly as bathwater
flowing down a drain, evaporates
let’s take the thing
the thing with the most meaning
like shoes with the most tread
let’s leave our mark, fleetingly
so fortunate this moment
to muster up a galling smile
in a style that purchases
garish pride and loathing, sumptuously
hand over the keys
let the music sing out loudly
as a high pitched squeal
of a bended saw blade, blisters
liquid orange fruited plain
or a half-lit cigarette wheezes
bring up and halt your progress
there’s a fortune in loving, outrageously
summer loathes a bookish mite
and autumn having fallen away
as spring moves backward into
solemn winter coughing, miserably
Remembering where you are and have been
Others may not see when you are struggling
Crying in the dark laughing in the morning
Knowing the strength that it has taking you
But there were times when you lost strength
Others tried to help you for you to shun them
The struggle you were facing were your alone
Those mountains were not insurmountable
Once you saw that you could start climbing
Made you muster up a life renewing strength
You Were Never What I Wanted
Why cast me as the villain
with your evil, insane lies?
Was it so reprehensible?
I permanently said, goodbye
Does the fact I’m no longer pretending, upset you?
My emotions, detached and nonchalant.
I tried to muster up the passion; you aren’t what I want.
Red eyes weep at the sounds of whispers,
anger rises amidst painful remorse.
intimate details paired with laughter
Still, I’ll remain on course
Although chaos fills the mornings,
I’m certain the moon will rise again at night.
I can‘t replace what breathes inside me,
I struggled to smother it, tried to fight.
It would have made my life much simpler,
maybe fixed what broke inside my mind
if I could have emulated your state of wanting
ceased believing lack of desire, is a crime.
Does my heartlessness, offend you?
Not that my dance card is marked, full.
You destroyed me with your rumors
this newfound freedom remains my will.
Sad how I can’t even take my own life
Too scared of what might happen if I do
Too scared to cut my veins open with a sharpened knife
Do you feel like this too?
I don’t believe in a hell or heaven
Yet I can’t muster up the courage to do it
I’m stuck in this depression
I just can’t seem to commit to having my wrists slit
I’m sorry I wasn’t more cautious
Is this too graphic for you
Are you feeling nauseous?
Sad that all I’m saying is true?
I’m sorry I wasn’t more insincere
I should come with a sign
DO NOT GET NEAR
Maybe all I do is whine
Maybe I should just lie and say I’m fine
If I had a beard
I would dye it burgundy
Take it for walks
Comb it lovingly
Laugh at myself in the mirror, try to join the circus, feeling gleeful.
If I had a beard
I would like it, certainly,
Loan it out, give it talks
Love it, and be excited about it always
Laugh along with the neighbors, smile when the little ones pointed it out.
If I had a beard
I would charge everyone a fee to look at it,
To touch it would cost you triple the cash,
All the quarters you could muster up.
From a cookie jar or wherever, if I had a beard.
And I would eat all the cookie crumbs I found in it too.
I woke up this morning
The bathroom gets approached
Too tired I lay back on my pillow
Finally the last alarm goes off
Time for me to get up and start
After the bathroom head downstairs
To the drawer full of medications
Take the dosages they prescribed
For the next hour deal with all the affects and effects
Try to muster up energy to make it through the day
Feeling sick to my stomach how much more can I handle
All this suffering feeling stuck
I will make it through this day full of paths of quick sand
Keep my head up until the day turns to night
No exact method or plan to make it through the next day
I lay my head back on my pillow again. -TA
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