Long Porky Poems

Dear neighbors,

I realize we have not met,
other than the guy next door
but that doesn't really count
cause that was just to put up a fence between us,
and I have met Marvelously Mad Max,
behind me, on the...

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Here's the scoop, friends...
   This is, as indicated, the 1st HALF of this fairly lengthy poem. The 2nd half had to be posted separately due to Poetry Soup's file-size limitations. No other way...

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Once upon a ZeroTime
we suffered great terror and loss.

People,
animals,
and plants
refused to speak kindly with each other
because of a Big Bad Wolf
named Ms. Climatic Change 
by her delightfully demented transparents.

Most all credible scientists in that day
were...

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There are many pig-type stories,
Mostly told in piggy fables.
Most are cheerful little characters,
With "Happy Endings" in their labels.

Let's start with 'Porky Pig' cartoon,
S-s-s-stammering pig of Looney-Tune fame.
It's here I'll mention other pigs,
Because all pigs are...

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For this Turk Turku is a 1-horse
city but he has got to have horse
sense. He will not be as happy as a peacock in Turkey.
Hindi, the Turk word for turkey, is how we'll call this...

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A Conversation With The Three Stooges

I Am: Hello guys it’s an honor, fellows

Moe:  HELLO! 
Larry: HELLO!
Curly: HELLO!  
The Three Stooges:  HELLOS!

I Am:  You’re known as half-wits, birdbrains, knuckleheads, 
  ...

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What are the odds that either Democratic or Republican leaders
will ever again remember how to host a Party?

Imagine these invitations we receive:
Dear Ms. Democrat,
Dear Mr. Republican,
Please come to our Leadership Party,
primarily to listen to us...

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That's not my elephant!
The man  dressed like a modern day hammlet or Lady Ga Ga screamed 
in his best Justin Biber voice once told me one thing.

It was a good time to make my...

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Abominable holiday season greeting to the have-nots me and you
Bombshell tabloid sleigh bells got those ear holes ringing
Cut the tax gift wrap ribbon, only good cheers for the wealthy few
Ducky Little Donald beaky wacky-quacky curse...

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Fifty nine inch tall wife
once willowy wisp
postmenopausal galloping gourmandiser
playboy centerfold girly
figure ain't no mo,'
which superfluous weight deterrent,

love life yours truly
took Kamikaze nosedive
arousing, exciting, stimulating...
as romancing the stone statue,
but seen thru Tom 
gobbler beady eyes

butterball babe...

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Shush Sushobhan, 
she’s pushing her hand to my rock hard in the back of reception 
your girl wowing at my fat long perfection, 
I guess she thinks of you as rejection 
after you spent a...

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I read Darryl Ashton’s poem Called Pinocchio Rex and this brought back 
memories of a childhood incident

When I grew up we had a smallholding – the house was called ‘Longacre’ as we 
had over an...

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Overweight Terrier:
   Porky
   Yorkie
Un-cool Terrier:
   Dorky
   Yorkie

Spaniel dog breeder:
   Cocker
   Stocker
Parrot who mimics a Spaniel's bark:
   Cocker
   Mocker
Book on...

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FOOTLES FOR THE BIRDS AND THE BEASTS - 

Bad-ass old bear:
    Grizzly
    Grizzly

Dachshund making critical life choices:
     Eenie
     Weenie...

Cougar from Arizona:
...

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FOOTLES FOR THE BIRDS AND THE BEASTS - 

Bad-*** old bear:
    Grizzly
    Grizzly

Dachshund making critical life choices:
     Eenie
     Weenie...

Cougar from Arizona:
...

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Dachshund headgear:
    Weenie
    Beenie

Frankfurter for a Dachshund:
    Weenie
    Weenie

Grouchy Dachshund:
    Meany
    Weenie

Un-cool Terrier:
    ...

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A porky problem
worth resolving

Is our scientifically hoggish evolutionary
survivalist assumption
that all Creatures that Matter
would highest and best 
usefully support AnthroPrivileged 
rabidly expanding WealthCare 
EcoPolitical Systems

Monopolizing EarthMother's breastmilk
and extracting fertile fuel
from her commercialized
and marginalized,
raped
and enslaved tits.

Pigs in...

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or

Happy Mealtime

"From time to time, children mature into liars and cheats --
or even parents."
-- a poet-philosopher
childless,
as well as diaper free

*   *   *

A lyric sweet is every tiny tyke,
whose parents' -- "Hey!...

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Two Words – Redux Three
 
Wax
Wane

Big
Train

Hood
Wood

Tooth
Booth

Gosh
Posh

Purple
Pink

Kitchen
Sink

Ice
Rink

Nays
Ways

Moon
Shine

Vinegar
Brine

Wild
One

Hun
Pun

Smart
Enough

Not
Tough

Prince
Wince

Ping
Pong

Bong
Dong

Real
Thing

Voice
Hoarse

Winning
Horse

Grasshopper
Stridulate

Cosmic
Force

Too
Much

Not
Enough

Poll
Toll

Pool
Tool

Duel
Fool

Bread
Roll

Place
Race

Brawl
Tall

Ace
Chase

Bath
Wrath

Back
Rub

Bone
Daddy

Phone
Mommy

Bingo
Bango

Exciting
Tango

Fango
Jango

Play
Piano

Porky
Pig

Dance
Jig

Hour
Tower

Flower
Power

Witch
Hazel

Nose
Nasal

Eye
Brow

Black
Cow

Bow
Wow

Fat
Man

Diet
Plan

Circus
Politics

Dirty
Sure

Facts
Blur

Sham
Shame

Many
Blame

Propel
Excel

Pain
Contain

All
Same

Total
Insane

Pica
Print

Time
Went

Odor
Vent

Pint
Tint

Rile
Pile

Gomer
Pyle

Vex
Hex

Hey
Tex

Tyrannosaurus
Rex

Flex
Perplex

Flick
Fleck

Bird
Peck

Oh
Heck

Card
Deck

Slick
Wick

Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved
November 2, 2018 (Short-Form Free Verse)...

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Porky Pig plastic bank, streaked with tears
Offered at my parent's bedside as they quarrel
          over money scarce like the scent of angels
Bickering exhaustion
   ...

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Somedays I feel like a female
Bugs Bunny, 
saying "whats up doc" while
confident and cool,
while other days more like a
girl Daffy Duck, 
feeling more like a tongue twisting fool,
while out shopping I feel like
an Elmer Fay...

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Peanut a silvery bluey, pale blond,  long hair Yorkie 
Short waggy tail, floppy ears, brandy brown eyes 
That melts your heart with his elegance.

He was supposed to be a petite five pounds 
Pup, but...

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This poem is inspired by and I guess coud be in conjunction With Andrea Dietrich's wonderful 
little poem" Dog that Wears a Cone" so her's should be read first if you have not already!


We once...

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By now I am gone 
My life it is done
There’s really no need to be sad

I can not complain
There was sunshine and there was rain
All in all my life wasn’t bad

I had a great wife
To...

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Porky Pig and I
would play. Every day.
Enjoying the way we squealed.
Rolling in the mud.
Tails curled tight.
Faces flushed.
Not knowing what is grey.
(Now) our lives, but black and white.
Naked to the sun; to life.

Porky Pig and I
would...

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