A Conversation With the Three Stooges

I Am: Hello guys it’s an honor, fellows Moe: HELLO! Larry: HELLO! Curly: HELLO! The Three Stooges: HELLOS! I Am: You’re known as half-wits, birdbrains, knuckleheads, Curly, you’re known as Porky pine, right? As a little girl I never appreciated rough-housing humor. Moe a mean man and you weren’t very bright I did adore Curly with sisterly affection. Curly: You ain’t half bad yourself toots! With my reclamation Moe: Remind me to kill you later, hmm, maybe strangulation Curly: OK, I’ll make a note of it! Can’t make me worry Larry: Stick up for yourself Curly! Moe: Yeah, what do you have to say? Curly: Well, I oughta—tell ya another day Moe: You oughta what? Have some finess Curly: I oughta mind my own business Moe: That’s better! Porky Pine I Am: Moe, would you take another question of mine? Moe: Yeah, make it snappy, Larry: Moe’s always been too slap happy I AM: Were you at one time called Ted Healy’s Racketeers? Moe: The Southern Gent’s, knucklehead! Like the Three Musketeers I Am: Your genres are farce, slapstick, musical comedy Curly is the schlemiel—stupid, childish, and clumsy. Larry is the schlimazel because he's not quite as stupid but still ends up unlucky with cupid. Moe, are you the aggressive and short-tempered leader of you three? Curly: Why coitainly Moe: The lady, you imbecile, is talking to me, Curly: Hey, I resemble that remark! Curly: Hey Moe, I can’t see! I can’t see! Moe: Why’s that? Is it too dark? Curly: ‘Cuz I have my eyes closed! Moe: Wait’ll I punch you in the nose! I Am: My best Three Stooges episodes were—Brideless Groom, Disorder in the Court, Malice in the Palace, Sing a Song of Six Pants, and Heavenly Daze Larry: That’s five. Miss I Am are you in a haze? Moe: Yeah Genius! I Am: Thank you for your calculation, I quess I Am: Do any one of you have a real job anywhere? Curly: Why coitainly, I just got a job in a bakery Moe: You never told me that numskull. What do you do there? Curly: I’m a loafer! Larry: That’s not surprising, and tell her you were a chauffer I Am: Goodnight “Three Stooges” Love and Luck Curly: Asta! NYUK! NYUK! NYUK!