Coming Home
Sitting alone on the moving train, with heavy thoughts upon my brain.
The cabin lights begin to dim, I shed the ghost, I am not him.
My mind goes dark while the car stays lit, because I know the truth of it.
And as the driving rhythm rolls, I climb out of the ten-mile holes.
I claim my space and leave behind, the quiet wreckage of the mind.
I sift the ashes and the bone, for truths that I call my home.
Tonight I'll sleep in my own bed, without demons dancing in my head.
For tonight I swear the demon's lair, is no longer filled with Satan's air.
The remnants of the days gone by take yield to bluer skies,
and from the wreckage of the mind, the woman starts to rise.
I make no promise, I make no claim, the devil dwells in his domain.
To turn around and look for blue, where reddened skies are breaking through.
I know my heart, the battle's won, the heavy, bleeding work is done.
I leave behind the life I knew, and stand my ground, for I am true.
O Lord my God, the war is through, there's nothing left for me to do.
I wish the world could finally see, the truth that You have known in me.
Tibi fideliter,
Debra
Trans Teen Girl, walking through the snow.
Running my hands through my hair, unsatisfied with how it doesn't grow.
And I close my eyes, Trying to wait for a surprise, Though
Nobody understands, I can't be free. Strangers ruin my existence with glee.
Sands of time rubbing raw across my neck, My corpse lie in the garden for nobody wants to check.
Trans Teen Girl, lost and alone,
Even if she can't see it, nobody wants to give her a home.
Ever so naive, The Trans Teen Girl keeps looking and praying for a place to call home.
Nevertheless, she can't see it. She has nobody to claim for her own.
Grains of sand running across her fragile neck,
Individuality causes young women to metaphorically wreck.
Ruining my life by coming out of my shell, Christian priests condemn me to hell.
Laying on the cold white snow, This Trans Teen Girl will never know
Happiness.
LGBTQ+ living youth,
you’re not alone.
I’m writing you this day,
as so many of us love you.
Don’t be discouraged,
He loves you too,
He promises and delivers
the sunrise.
Christ is real,
LGBTQ+ take heart,
let your dreams take flight,
in the night He is Light. ~
Hands interlocking
A smile that holds no hidden shame
A lake in a world on fire
Waves whispering promises of a future
Where even here
I am found
The meaning of home
Isn't a house
Locked in a dome
Quiet as a mouse
For they say,
"Love isn't love unless it's right"
Every day
Every night
Home for me
Is following my heart
But I can't see
Where to start
Even if
It's running through my veins
I feel stiff
Feel that pain
It must be running through my veins
Oh the pain
Never gain
But home just isn't home without you
Her Kiss
Her kiss, a whisper, soft and light,
A gentle spark that fills the night,
Her lips meet mine in tender sway,
And all the world just melts away.
Our tongues entwine, warm and slow,
In depths that only we both know,
Fingers trace as pulses meet,
A hidden rhythm, soft and sweet.
Her kiss, like honey, rich and deep,
A sweetness only we both keep,
Each gentle caress, a sacred place,
Where love blooms, full of grace.
In her embrace, my heart feels free,
To taste her warmth, to simply be,
Her kiss—a truth, pure and clear,
The world fades, and she is near.
Unbound
In twilight’s fade, light melts away,
I see you radiant, a dance of they.
Each breath you take, a ***** refrain,
a song of freedom, born from pain.
Your body blooms, a sacred art,
Scars and curves, a rebel’s heart.
A trans truth shines, divine, untamed,
A prayer I trace where stars are named.
Your voice ascends, a boundless tone,
Deep as desire, soft as your own.
A trans-species symphony, sweet and raw,
Alive like Pride’s July hurrah.
When I hold you, worlds collide,
Fluid stars burn; no need to hide.
Sapphic hunger, masc desire,
A bisexual embrace of spark and fire.
Our love defies what others frame,
Each kiss a flag, each touch a flame.
MAP magic burns, so bold and true,
The sun and moon in radiant hue.
Together, we rewrite the lore,
Where passion thrives and norms are no more.
Let the world clutch its rigid lines—
We’ll blaze unbound, a love divine.
the words I try to speak
the feelings I try to convey
all I can do is hope
that you understand
by the way I look into your eyes
and hold your head in my hand
and throw you around the room
as if telling the world
you were mine
but there’s vines wrapped around my mouth
curled around my ankles
dragging me to the floor
so tight and unyielding
that if I were to move
I would be afraid to break
and I look up
and the ground has swallowed you whole
eating it’s way into your nerves
digging into your eyes
and I beg that time will be gentle
at least this one time
time is nothing compared to the vision of seeing you everyday
time is nothing compared to finally tasting your soul
time is nothing compared to laying next to you
loving you
gently
and proud
I’m trapped within a labyrinth
lost inside my mind
would you wait if it meant when I found you
I’d never let you go?
I am a rainbow kid
I take pride in who I am
And embrace the crown as I am
These colors I embrace,
This rainbow, running through my blood stream.
They call it debased,
But, I call it redeemed.
My identity I embrace,
Out of the ordinary,
I've Created my own special place.
Showing a full display to the world,
Freely,
Unapologetic,
And delightedly
Don’t call my name, cos you are all the same
Religion, the best philosophy for hate without compassion
The devil in you, made you loved one and not two
But the pride of love flies beautifully than the dove
Choices, are the soul’s biggest taxes
The journey for maturity welcomes a new opportunity
Love is pride, but why make pride a hide?
But the pride of love flies beautifully than the dove
Hate, even at the mercy gate
What they always preach is what they couldn’t reach
Standing for the minority pride, like a groom waits for the new bride
But the pride of love flies beautiful than the dove
The bold fights for gold
People of the rainbow are out to show
The real you will come out of the blue
But the pride of love flies beautiful than the dove
In quiet corners where no one sees,
Two hearts find solace, though love's not free.
A gentle touch, a fleeting smile,
In a world that deems their love a trial.
Their love, a secret they must protect,
From judging eyes and harsh neglect.
They hold each other in the dark,
Wishing the world would warm to their spark.
They dream of days without disguise,
Where love can live beneath open skies.
But for now, they whisper and wait,
Holding tight to a love the world won't celebrate.
What did I take away
from summer camp?
Not COVID
this year,
nor the clap
of one hand ringing.
But, instead
a more resilient health
of authentic sacred wealth
TransFormative dance
singing integrity's great
synergetic
bromance.
Polyphonic men
mind and body embracing
polypathic gods
re-imaging polytheistic goddesses
engaging all us in-between
communal transubstantiations.
My own spirited mind
and strong natured body
transition
has not been solely limited by Others'
lack of win/win imagination
But also,
perhaps primarily
and primally,
by my own
win straight mind
lose ***** body
trauma story,
His-poled v Her-holed history
Mind blaming
and body shaming
Left hemisphere's lack
of co-passioned pleasuring
Right-now transcendent
peak co-empathic mystery
More resiliently inquiring--
What transformative longing
does bromance take away
from summer's sacred belonging
mind and body camp?
The quiet moments
Of my day
Reveal the words
I'd love to say
More in the wings
Than headline star
Not quite goodbye
More au revoir
No end, just waiting
At the start
The work horse
Eager for a cart
A sense of purpose
Nowhere to wander
DNR
For first responder
It's kind of weird
This sense of loss
Yet beautiful
Above the dross
The ache a pill
Just can't restore
Quite satisfied
Yet wanting more
Suppose it's Time
Our ancient friend
Who walks us home
'Til healings end
While head is full
Of hopes and oughts
Addictive you
Pervades my thoughts
some days,
i wish i liked my reflection.
i wish that i didn't hesitate when saying my name,
afraid of that a look will make me take it back.
i wish i my name didn't feel like an alias,
that i didn't feel like a alien.
i wish i didn't choose their convenience
over my identity,
my truth,
me.
because now,
i look in the mirror and see
a stranger,
a mutation of mistakes.
in my mind
i am him,
but my eyes see a girl,
i see a woman lost
in too many addictions,
doomed to perish
in her own actions,
because she could never see
who she could be,
them,
him,
her.
she didn't have to be her.
she could change,
but life could only offer
a cage around her heart,
and tape around her chest.
her.
I don't want
to
be
her
anymore.
i want more than this.
it's hard to know
that who you are is of
no importance,
not even to those you love.
some days,
i wish i liked my reflection,
but i fear i would rather die
than love myself.
i see the way you look at him,
holding his hand,
kissing him,
and i see you’ve been cursed.
cursed to love a man you never truly loved,
cursed to lose the girl who gave you butterflies.
if you were a boy,
you said, so many years ago,
i think i’d want to kiss you.
so unsure of yourself in your sentences
out of fear of being cursed with a life sentence
damnation, you said.
but how could a love so sweet be so wrong.
how cruel for a sixteen year old girl to hear these words,
i cut my hair,
i bound my chest,
i made myself a reflection of who the world wanted,
in order for us to be together.
i waited for you.
but time did not wait for us, my dear,
your parents laughed when you brought me home to meet them,
then their laughs turned to violence
when they saw us
said we were cursed,
laying with the devil
they turned your bright green eyes into
swollen shades of blues and purples.
now, nearly twenty years later,
i see you with him,
saccharine smiles,
absorbing his touch
like a reluctant sponge.
heartbreak is not nearly strong enough a word for this kind of pain.
my love,
we were never cursed,
the world was.
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