Lonely elf not 5’4, horny toad toon
Hits on maties wives in pubs and saloons
a smidge taller than Manson
yet not quite as handsome
His gal pal elves nudge him to G-E-T -A -R-O-O-M!
He was horny, slipped his clothes in a second, his eyes and thing went straight!
Wife was feeling neglected and bored.
Hubby hugged her. Her low spirits soared.
She cooed, “Let’s go to bed.”
When he said, “Well, instead,
would you bring me some food?” she was floored.
Soon she came back buck-naked and bold
with a meal. Such a sight to behold!
Hubby said, “Lunch can wait.”
When he went for the bait,
She said, “Not now~~your food would get cold.”
Horny bird
Sing for me
Let me feel happiness again
Bring me back my peace
Let your message be my remedy
Yes horny bird sing to my soul
Don't leave me down this deep
Uplift my mind with your melody
Heal my heart with your flow
Yes horny bird sing to me
Your songs bring freedom
To my soul
Horny bird
Happy days are strange
Sadness has shallowed my peace
Worries has taken over my mind
So horny bird sing to me
Let me feel life again
Take me so high
Were my pains will fade away
Take me to the moon
Take me to the sun
Were I will morn no more for the night
Let me free with out pains
Bless my soul with your beauty and melody
So horny bird sing to me
Let my poetry bleed the words of love
To a dying world
For the sake of humanity
Said the horny prince to the fairy queen
I have the largest you've ever seen
I’ll prove it, indeed,
By planting my seed
And we'll call it continuing my gene.
FOURTH PLACE WINNER
written February 23, 2022
"A New Bawdy or Humorous Limerick" Poetry Contest
sponsored by Tania Kitchin
World becomes the hell
Rulers when cultivate greed
Hate begets revenge
Warfare body lives on blood
Deaths are politician's game
16.09.2020 Chattogram
Horny Toads
Grandpa knew everything,
that was needed to be known,
always.
I stayed every summer,
from the time before I remember,
until the time I pray,
never to forget.
We worked in the garden.
We dug holes, and planted seeds.
Everything was new to me.
Miracles were in the garden.
Tiny things that most miss.
an ant, a spider, a snake,
and if you are very, very lucky…
you will find,
a toad…with horns.
Unicorns are in the bible.
God had Noah build an ark.
We are small "He" is tall,
and wonders…
never cease,
when Grandpa…
goes to plant vegetables.
As Hard As Rock by Nina Dalin 14th May 2019 - Sexual Comedy
And John said
“Olegs cock is as hard as rock ?When Monica Miguel enters the room”?
He approaches her without realisation?
That His cock is sticking out far vertically out from his shorts
?It’s much longer than usual?
So big it looks like an elephants dick?
Because he's so horny
She looks down at his crotch with surprise ?
She can see the head above the shorts.?
And smirks ?"Can I blow you?”?
“Yeah sure baby. Anytime.”
How about now? she asks.
She gets down on her knees
Sucks his dick like a lollipop
Until he comes
Bad poetry is what one gets
when horny people don't have sex
so if this rhyme seems juvenile
give me a break, it's been a while
Maverick
- man
Legs
- long
Skirts
- sexy
Knickers
- knot
Manners
- misplaced
Breast
- Blossom
Breathe
- bare
Nipple
- Nudge
Heart
- huge
Loins
- looney
Fingers
- Fraught
Penile
- Pulse
Testicle
- Trouble
Horny
- Hornet
*****
- Propeller
HORNY DILEMMA
MANIC
TRAFFIC
GRAPHIC
PANIC
days
predestined
manic
traffic
race
finish
line
nights
graphic
panic
face
©1/19/2018
submitted to WRITE ME A TYBURN – Poetry contest
sponsor – Kim Rodrigues
A long lost uncle has suddenly died
Leaving me a treasure that staggers the eyes
A mansion imposing
But therein disclosing
A bevy of horny fillies, I began to cry
the man with a crown on his head
has likely to spend time in bed
the Queen, misbehaving
the cause of much raving
preferring most couches instead.
Revered are the Stars that spring you,
acclaimed the moon who enlightens your path.
Hold me in-between your laps -a haven of infinity.
Let me understand your warmth:cold forever despised.
My upstairs in scatteration-your decked face observe.
Wait on the Mortal strand where the Hollow of your thighs is consummated.
Freeze me in you,the World a single figure appear.
You make the Soundings of my Heart so deafening:inaudible to Mortals.
You arrest my Soul at the sight of your tasty sight,
Your Kiss treasure-coated-a well of honey sunk.
Miles apart,your nose my passion reborn.
Broadened is the way on your breast of monogamy where to the brim am made.
Push me from this road:the Sting of death nearing.
Fire me alive;eat me raw,if ever scorned of your touch.
Said his lover to the horny toad:
"Buster, you can hit the road!
A 'horny' Romeo you ain't,
And here's the basis of my complaint!
I don't know why they call you 'horny'!
'Tis a gross misnomer and is so very corny!
When it comes to romance you are dead!
You're about as sensual as a loaf of moldy bread!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
For those not acquainted with horny toads. They are a species that sport horns on
their heads, therefore, called horned or horny toads and are quite common here in
Colorado. I have no personal knowledge of a "horny" toad's sexual activities but
apparently the little lady toadette in this poem is upset about it!
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