Best Horny Poems

An almost stillness came about
as she strode into my door,
like breath itself refused to move,
fearful of touching her mysterious beauty

But her obsidian eyes betrayed her....

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I don't know what came over me that day - an instant of weakness after years of resistance, I suppose.

My beaming spouse leads me, a...

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Well guys I’m going to tell you a secret
You don’t really know me
I have not been honest 
I am not who I say I am
Yesterday...

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1.
Why do we persecute this Jesus?
this Palestinian Jew, with claim
to one almighty God?
Ahh! let me home, it’s all too
much, and no avail.

so I Longinus, leader...

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Santa came home with a reindeer
And Mrs Claus said with a sneer
‘Did you have to bring
That horny old thing?’
Rudolph said, ‘Madam, he lives here.’




13 December...

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Oklahoma cowboy, tough coal miner’s son
Born in Henryetta, south of Tulsa some
Raised by daddy’s momma, taught him wrong from right
Daddy taught him ropin’, taught him...

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For turning my eyes into shallow Pacific blues,
because nobody likes Chocolate. 

For transforming the freckled clusterbomb on my face,
into baby skin smoothness!

Because freckles are humanity’s...

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Listen, Heathcliff, don't get me wrong,
but hanging with you isn't good.
You're a dragon, and I'm a mouse,
last night you said you understood.

That weird look in...

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Theme for collaboration suggested by Tim Smith


Two enormous old toads crossed the road
On Tom’s back lounged Thomasina toad
Both are ugly and warty
Thomasina’s so naughty
As her...

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“Ten Years, Somewhere in their Lost Neighbourhood”

Of course,
he said, like a god,
there is no course,
one must simply go with the flow
the penumbra stands waivering its...

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Croakers symphony
await the rainy season
a horny toad calls

A burst of thunder
rain coming down in torrents
a mating frenzy

lily pads submerge
fertile eggs slowly sinking
 fish come ...

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Jack was sitting poker faced 
With bullets backed by bitches.
Neal hunched at the wheel 
Puttin everyone in stitches.
He was braggin 'bout 
This nurse he'd screwed,...

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Wulf they called me; they called me
long ago, in track and fathered field,
muscled and thighed for the dash to kill 
and share the beating blood,...

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Why is my heart torn?
Why can't I just leave you well enough alone?
When it's just us three, I feel like a third wheel
I don't know...

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At the entrance of evening, the melting sun slowly drips
     over the treetop horizon;
Beckoning the moon to peek through the opaque...

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