Best Horny Poems

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    ...

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the man with a crown on his head
has likely to spend time in bed
the Queen, misbehaving
the cause of much raving
preferring most couches instead....

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got theses feeling
got me reeling
for you  have this
come lets kiss and kiss
this is noe baloney
AM HORNY...

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When one is lonely and shy
and the whole world is passing by,
play this little game although quite tame,
key in your name in the anagram frame,
take flight from commonality
to change one’s personality
you may find it gives one a boost
a character from a novel by Proust,
aid one...

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Said his lover to the horny toad:

"Buster, you can hit the road!

A 'horny' Romeo you ain't,

And here's the basis of my complaint!

I don't know why they call you 'horny'!

'Tis a gross misnomer and is so very corny!

When it comes to romance you are dead!

You're about...

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Revered are the Stars that spring you,
acclaimed the moon who enlightens your path.
Hold me in-between your laps -a haven of infinity.
Let me understand your warmth:cold forever despised.
My upstairs in scatteration-your decked face observe.
Wait on the Mortal strand where the Hollow of your thighs is consummated.
Freeze...

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Said the horny prince to the fairy queen
I have the largest you've ever seen
I’ll prove it, indeed,
By planting my seed
And we'll call it continuing my gene.

FOURTH PLACE WINNER
written February 23, 2022
"A New Bawdy or Humorous Limerick" Poetry Contest
sponsored by Tania Kitchin...

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She came across a bend
On a lonely road.
She walked upon some little rocks
And found a horny toad.
She cried as her heart then broke
cause that little toad there died.
She couldn't understand,
confused she stood and sighed.
That little horny toad
never moved or moaned at all.
As she stood there...

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A long lost uncle has suddenly died
Leaving me a treasure that staggers the eyes
A mansion imposing
But therein disclosing
A bevy of horny fillies, I began to cry...

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Maverick
- man
Legs
- long
Skirts
- sexy
Knickers
- knot
Manners
- misplaced
Breast
- Blossom
Breathe
- bare
Nipple
- Nudge
Heart
- huge
Loins
- looney 
Fingers
- Fraught
Penile
- Pulse
Testicle
- Trouble
Horny
- Hornet
*****
- Propeller...

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Happily Never After (the Second Curse of the Horny Toad)
by Michael R. Burch

He did not think of love of Her at all
frog-plangent nights, as moons engoldened roads
through crumbling stonewalled provinces, where toads
(nee princes) ruled in chinks and grew so small
at last to be invisible. He...

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(This is a fictional poem)

I'm a twenty-five year old man and I've been told that I'm weird.
People say I've become a nut just like they feared.
They were shocked because it's ridiculous and silly.
I get an ******** when I see Granny on the Beverly Hillbillies.
Pamela Anderson...

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Submitted by: Buzz O'Words
Written: 3/3/14

Too much Viagra and beer.
My wife was out of town,
I hit every club around.
Each time I'd hope to find
A horny woman here.

Country Bob's was the last place that was open.
Near blind drunk and horny, I was still hopin'.
A pretty woman gave...

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Bad poetry is what one gets
when horny people don't have sex
so if this rhyme seems juvenile
give me a break, it's been a while...

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As Hard As Rock by Nina Dalin 14th May 2019 - Sexual Comedy

And John said
“Olegs cock is as hard as rock ?When Monica Miguel enters the room”?
He approaches her without realisation?
That His cock is sticking out far vertically out from his shorts
?It’s much longer than...

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