Best Horny Poems

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An almost stillness came about
as she strode into my door,
like breath itself refused to move,
fearful of touching her mysterious beauty

But her obsidian eyes betrayed her....

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I don't know what came over me that day - an instant of weakness after years of resistance, I suppose.

My beaming spouse leads me, a...

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Well guys I’m going to tell you a secret
You don’t really know me
I have not been honest 
I am not who I say I am
Yesterday...

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1.
Why do we persecute this Jesus?
this Palestinian Jew, with claim
to one almighty God?
Ahh! let me home, it’s...

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Oklahoma cowboy, tough coal miner’s son
Born in Henryetta, south of Tulsa some
Raised by daddy’s momma, taught him wrong from right
Daddy taught him ropin’, taught him...

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For turning my eyes into shallow Pacific blues,
because nobody likes Chocolate. 

For transforming the freckled clusterbomb on my face,
into baby skin smoothness!

Because freckles are humanity’s...

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Listen Heathcliff don’t get me wrong
but hanging with you isn't good.
You're a dragon and I'm a mouse,
last night you said you understood.

That weird look in...

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Theme for collaboration suggested by Tim Smith


Two enormous old toads crossed the road
On Tom’s back lounged Thomasina toad
Both are ugly and warty
Thomasina’s so naughty
As her...

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Croakers symphony
await the rainy season
a horny toad calls

A burst of thunder
rain coming down in torrents
a mating frenzy

lily pads submerge
fertile eggs slowly sinking
 fish come ...

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Wulf they called me; they called me
long ago, in track and fathered field,
muscled and thighed for the dash to kill 
and share the beating blood,...

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   REFLECTIONS ON A VIRGINIA SUMMER NIGHT

At the entrance of evening, the melting sun slowly drips
     over the tree...

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Round and smooth
orange red
playing sunset
in blue pail
holding hands
with moonlight
pearly slices
from the earth
dancing horny
hot peppers
kicking out
garlic smell
sunlit squeezed
lemon lime
sparkles from
sea salt beds
lacey fragrance
green cilantro
apple cider
gold coriander
oil,...

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Why is my heart torn?
Why can't I just leave you well enough alone?
When it's just us three, I feel like a third wheel
I don't know...

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Jack was sitting poker faced 
With bullets backed by bitches.
Neal hunched at the wheel 
Puttin everyone in stitches.
He was braggin 'bout 
This nurse he'd screwed,...

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Hello, there, little chameleon friend;
Did you come to keep me company?
Scurrying along the redwood rail,
Have you read this book or
Are you just to look
For your...

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When I was just a teenage lad, and growing up out west
I never wore a cowboy hat or fancy leather vests,
never put on cowboy boots...

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I am a virgin slammer,
Let me get that over with,
So if I stammer and speak like a bludgeoning hammer,
Let the record be clear: I’m just...

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((( THIS POEM IS A DEDICATION
((( TO MY nemesis and pest Silly Billy theKidster
((( HE  JOINed MY CONTEST AS A JOKE
~~~~ both # 1...

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Too much Viagra and beer.
Too much Viagra and beer.
My wife was out of town,
I hit every club around.
Each time I'd hope to find
A horny woman...

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Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
You're just so damn sexy,
That's why I'm hittin' on you.
You don't have to love me,
Some good sex will...

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I am not horny
But I'm easily turned on
Flirt with me baby...

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Mirror mirror on the wall, she wants me so,
but I am little and she is white as snow.
  From Bashful to Happy I morph
...

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It’s wrong to judge people by appearance
So when he approached me with that grimace
I tried to see what’s inside
Perhaps a sweet prince did hide
Behind scaly...

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Twas the nite before and all through the house, everyone lustful even the mouse
I in my towel and her in a thong
No way in hell...

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