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Best Horny Poems

Below are the all-time best Horny poems written by Poets on PoetrySoup. These top poems in list format are the best examples of horny poems written by PoetrySoup members


I'm A Little Horny Unicorn
<                        ...

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Categories: horny, adventure, animals, education, fantasy, happiness, imagination,
Form: Haiku



Obsidian
An almost stillness came about
as she strode into my door,
like breath itself refused to move,
fearful of touching her mysterious beauty

But her obsidian eyes betrayed her....

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Categories: horny, abuse, dark, mystery,
Form: Free verse
Premium Member The Pedicure Virgin
I don't know what came over me that day - an instant of weakness after years of resistance, I suppose.

My beaming spouse leads me, a...

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© Roy Jerden  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: horny, humor,
Form: Prose
Premium Member WARNING - CERTAIN POETS MAY WISH TO CHANGE THEIR NAME
Well guys I’m going to tell you a secret
You don’t really know me
I have not been honest 
I am not who I say I am
Yesterday...

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Categories: horny, humorous,
Form: Narrative
I Once Was a Soldier
        
1.
Why do we persecute this Jesus?
this Palestinian Jew, with claim
to one almighty God?
Ahh! let me home, it’s...

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Categories: horny, jesus, , cute,
Form: Free verse



Premium Member Keep It Turnin' to the Right
Oklahoma cowboy, tough coal miner’s son
Born in Henryetta, south of Tulsa some
Raised by daddy’s momma, taught him wrong from right
Daddy taught him ropin’, taught him...

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© Roy Jerden  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: horny, day, earth, funny, life, love, satire,
Form: Rhyme
Premium Member Thank you, Photoshop
For turning my eyes into shallow Pacific blues,
because nobody likes Chocolate. 

For transforming the freckled clusterbomb on my face,
into baby skin smoothness!

Because freckles are humanity’s...

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Categories: horny, introspection, life, social, me,
Form: Free verse
Premium Member You Said You Understood
Listen Heathcliff don’t get me wrong
but hanging with you isn't good.
You're a dragon and I'm a mouse,
last night you said you understood.

That weird look in...

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Categories: horny, fantasy, funny, hilarious, humor,
Form: Quatrain
Premium Member CROSSING THE TOAD - NEW COLLABORATION
Theme for collaboration suggested by Tim Smith


Two enormous old toads crossed the road
On Tom’s back lounged Thomasina toad
Both are ugly and warty
Thomasina’s so naughty
As her...

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Categories: horny, animal, giggle, humorous, silly,
Form: Limerick
Premium Member Frog Pads
Croakers symphony
await the rainy season
a horny toad calls

A burst of thunder
rain coming down in torrents
a mating frenzy

lily pads submerge
fertile eggs slowly sinking
 fish come ...

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© Joseph May  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: horny, nature,
Form: Haiku
The Grey

Wulf they called me; they called me
long ago, in track and fathered field,
muscled and thighed for the dash to kill 
and share the beating blood,...

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Categories: horny, nature,
Form: Free verse
Premium Member REFLECTIONS ON A VIRGINIA SUMMER NIGHT







   REFLECTIONS ON A VIRGINIA SUMMER NIGHT

At the entrance of evening, the melting sun slowly drips
     over the tree...

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Categories: horny, dream, emotions, sleep, summer,
Form: Prose Poetry
Making Guacamole
Round and smooth
orange red
playing sunset
in blue pail
holding hands
with moonlight
pearly slices
from the earth
dancing horny
hot peppers
kicking out
garlic smell
sunlit squeezed
lemon lime
sparkles from
sea salt beds
lacey fragrance
green cilantro
apple cider
gold coriander
oil,...

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Categories: horny, food,
Form: Free verse
Why Love
Why is my heart torn?
Why can't I just leave you well enough alone?
When it's just us three, I feel like a third wheel
I don't know...

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Categories: horny, friendship, loss, love, love,
Form: Bio
Premium Member CalifornY

Jack was sitting poker faced 
With bullets backed by bitches.
Neal hunched at the wheel 
Puttin everyone in stitches.
He was braggin 'bout 
This nurse he'd screwed,...

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Categories: horny, america, time, travel,
Form: Free verse
Premium Member Only the Doodlebugs
Hello, there, little chameleon friend;
Did you come to keep me company?
Scurrying along the redwood rail,
Have you read this book or
Are you just to look
For your...

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Categories: horny, environment, loss,
Form: I do not know?
Premium Member Call Me Tex
When I was just a teenage lad, and growing up out west
I never wore a cowboy hat or fancy leather vests,
never put on cowboy boots...

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© Roy Jerden  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: horny, home, humorous, me, satire,
Form: Cowboy
I am a virgin slammer
I am a virgin slammer,
Let me get that over with,
So if I stammer and speak like a bludgeoning hammer,
Let the record be clear: I’m just...

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Categories: horny, slam, , cute,
Form: Free verse
SLY FOX-- Dedication SillyBilly theKidster ,1,
((( THIS POEM IS A DEDICATION
((( TO MY nemesis and pest Silly Billy theKidster
((( HE  JOINed MY CONTEST AS A JOKE
~~~~ both # 1...

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Categories: horny, animals, slam, me, animal, animal, me,
Form: Rhyme
Premium Member Viagra and Beer
Too much Viagra and beer.
Too much Viagra and beer.
My wife was out of town,
I hit every club around.
Each time I'd hope to find
A horny woman...

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Categories: horny, angst, body, crazy, drink, for her,
Form: Lyric
Premium Member Please Help Me, Re-lyric
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
You're just so damn sexy,
That's why I'm hittin' on you.
You don't have to love me,
Some good sex will...

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Categories: horny, angel, beauty, blue, body, cute love,
Form: Lyric
Flirt With Me
I am not horny
But I'm easily turned on
Flirt with me baby...

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Categories: horny, lust,
Form: Senryu
Premium Member Now That's a Fairytale
Mirror mirror on the wall, she wants me so,
but I am little and she is white as snow.
  From Bashful to Happy I morph
...

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Categories: horny, funny, humorous,
Form: Limerick
Lily Pad Bliss
It’s wrong to judge people by appearance
So when he approached me with that grimace
I tried to see what’s inside
Perhaps a sweet prince did hide
Behind scaly...

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Categories: horny, funny, love
Form: Limerick
Some get cookies and milk
Twas the nite before and all through the house, everyone lustful even the mouse
I in my towel and her in a thong
No way in hell...

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Categories: horny, desire, fantasy, marriage, sexy,
Form: Prose