Gran Poems - Poems about Gran

Lets be really clear A crystal clear plan to get near the man Just Follow the titty twister Just follow the hooha hurriCAN Follow as sure as you stand On two feet we dominate On two knees we congregate With a Gang of my precious baby friends in my face In the foot race in the first race I place fate on...

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A Special Dark Run A Pile of Fetty For Fun Crystal Natures and a Ton of Bad Jokes I said it all but thats not all I had to Say poke. I had To Stay broke Huh. To see how rich the fix is I had a simple Plan Purely Intrinsic Huh In consequence Of course the relay of course The Bang we play Got...

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Hey Ya Ya Im talking to you You ing thing you You beautiful lil banger Im never quick to anger and your no stranger Your no rookie at this Most Valuable lil p lil Come on go ahead and pee on my dick See if I flex and See if I flex on it If I'm gonna flex on anything Imma flex on...

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What could I bring you Gran? This did her heart good. But she did not need anything. Just come back safe, she told her grandson. He did. Over and over and over. Forty years later he was still coming back safe. The last few years he had brought her flowers. Sunflowers, roses, daisies, lavender, lilies, Lilac, cone flowers, zinnias, he was a thoughtful grandson. At...

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The Melter Man, the Melter Man, he upsets kids for fun And when they've been to Ice Cream Gran, his fun has just begun He’ll kill their ice creams pronto, like they’ve left them in the sun By melting them to nothing, with his crazy melter gun The Melter Man hides in the trees til Ice Cream Gran arrives His...

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“Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while…but our hearts forever.” —Unknown With eyes bright, azure like the skies Welcoming me to be with her, Twinkling, sparkling, shining with love Love so wise, so warm – whispering Wonders beyond my comprehension, Wonders of light, hope, happiness – love That is like the starlight glistening, The sunlight smiling, gentling the spirit, The...

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When you're burgling, awareness is best; When he saw her, he thought 'twas in jest. Forgetting the shih tzu, Or Granny's jujitsu, Both his shirt and some charges were pressed. Theft and laundering just do not pay, Not when Granny is holding the spray. Got starched for his error, He stiffened in terror; Slapped with irons, they took him away. ---------- for the Limerick Poetry Contest sponsored...

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[For those of you unfamiliar with the Ice Cream Gran saga, Ice Cream Gran or Turbo Gran is a crime fighting granny. Guess what she drives…..] **** Ice Cream Gran, in her ice cream van Turned on her cheerful tune Today she’s free to serve ice...

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It’s dreadful, a disaster, it’s a terrible calamity Housewives going frantic for the thing they seek but cannot see Supermarket workers helping those who shout the most Try their best to find a jar of spread to spread on toast But all the angry faces glaring at the empty spaces Brought the staff to tears because there should be twenty...

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Who snored the loudest was open to question But each would deny such an insane suggestion The phone rang just once and she opened one eye ‘Up you get, Nitro, we gotta fly.’ Nitro Cat yawned and he leapt from her lap His eyes still half closed from his over-short nap He looked up as Gran put her phone to her...

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Turbo Gran’s Zimmer is right by her side Her head is tipped back and her mouth open wide Time was she saved every human alive On land or in flight or a deep ocean dive The armchair recliner impossibly old Just get a new one, she’s often been told She never spent money on night cream for wrinkles All her spare cash...

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Gran glared at the general. ‘So tell me where we’re at What’s a chicken got to do with me and Nitro Cat?’ ‘That chicken,’ said the general, ‘has laid a special egg It’s got a micro chip in it, I’m not pulling your leg ‘If we just leave it in there, then as far as we’ve been told In about...

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The Hammer and the sickle were emblazoned on its tower This underwater enemy would demonstrate its power The submarine, in covert mode, torpedoes at the ready The crosshairs on the monitor were holding nice and steady The captain said, ‘Dear Comrades, you shall see the west can’t halt Our mission to send shockwaves through the San Andreas Fault.’ The sonar operator...

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[This episode in the Ice Cream Gran saga is inspired by Jennifer Proxenos’ comment on another of my poems.] * Ever since she saved the world, she can’t hide any place For now...

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It’s heading for our planet at ten thousand miles an hour To stop it all the experts say we haven’t got the power All the nukes in all the world won’t constitute a plan So someone said, ‘All we can do is call on Turbo Gran.’ The call went out and they all watched the car park down below For...

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