Searches
appear for
some final answer
to the make-up of
the universe
to what makes me tick~
A wish for a
finality wiping out
all further queries~
Squeezing the stories to
give up hidden
secrets~
A suggestion of
not knowing seems not
admissible with its
undertone of
freedom~~
sunrise and sunset
emptiness does not vary
even your shadow is gone ~
selling the last one
your first painting of our lives
together how long ago
that first bright sunrise
in the blue lakeside cabin
planning our life together ~
nebulous promise
of never-ending passion
into a future unknown
that last dark sunset
the finality of sun
settling into the shadows ~
the dying of light
gently into that good night
rage is an impotent thing
He walked along the cobbled streets,
a terrible freezing gloaming, frosted air.
Snow crystal upon snow crystal
dampen the arctic gelidity:
his head was chilled, his teeth chattered
and frostbite raked his fingertips.
He turned, shuffling into a side street.
Fear clutched his heart, but he felt valiant
and entered boldly her heated abode.
She waited for him, slouching on her sofa.
He was quick to notice her stern face,
a contrast to her gentle eyes,
that shone like the silvery stars.
Could he detect some pathos there?
Uncertain, he knew how unpredictable she was.
A stunning figure on show for him.
He pleaded:
“Shield me from the freezing night.”
Her cat-like smile formed on her ruby lips.
“Am I that unwelcome, my sweet?
Grant me a few moments of bliss.
just one ruddy, wanton, lingering kiss,
Then I'll be off and leave you in peace,
the peace I shall never find.”
It was not to be—the finality of love.
The air outside was colder still.
His life would be melancholy forevermore.
How oft had I slipped in life,
Sliding into slimy oblivion,
Until my spirit was crushed
Almost beyond repair.
Yet I learned the hard way
To fight back and win.
To see the truth in your mortal deceit
To admit you do not deserve
The compassion and lust that
You crave so much for.
You hide behind long faces
And mimic with your shaking hands
As if you're in despair;
Misplace your voice with floods of sorrow
To hide your ugly nature of abuse.
Stop this illusion, fly away from me
Seek other pastures,
For I cannot abide your cheating tone,
Or the deception written on your face,
Not anymore. Must I succumb to you?
Now I am whole, alone and worried
But am determined to survive your loss.
It's hard I know to linger
Into the lonely, dreadful, sleepless night.
To wait for the promised dawn of a new life,
A dawn that seems so far away.
But I'm determined to wait.
For when you're gone I'll find asylum
In peace and harmony and truth
And live the simple life I had once treasured
Once more I'll smile and laugh
But I shall love no more.
FICTION
To know…
To see…
To learn…
is how life’s meant to be.
Life is lived daily.
Death is final.
How you live…
How you see…
The world around
Is where I’ll be.
I’ll grow…
I’ll adapt…
I’ll give my all…
Just to learn life’s ways
so I never fall.
Life is hard…
Life is real…
Life has us all in the deal.
So drop the drugs.
Flush the pills.
Turn off your phone.
Just listen.
Just feel.
Or you may just lose
Everything that is real.
Finality
I've Finally Decided
What I Want On My
Tombstone:
"I'm So Embarrassed..."
-Gray Squirrel
10/28/2024
thousands I love you's o'er one's lifetime
~~
it's not the same as the last time
Disenchanted
The harbinger of consequence unexpected
that blows cool breeze or fetid air in mind's inner spaces_
Then wafts away to not ever comeback! For so unwanted,
those misleadingly obsequious embraces...
Penned: 02/02/2023
2:26 a.m.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Shedding a final tear
from the cellar of my pain
The walls close in the sorrow
imprisoning me again
Breathing a final sigh
into a memory you forget
My words trapped into silence
—alone with my regret
(The New Room: January, 2022)
If infinity has no finality - sometime later may never arrive!
written July 20, 2021
Every decision made has a cause and effect
Gaining wisdom requires taking many missteps
In this unprovoked endeavor you are captain of ship
And abandoning your crew can cause faculties to flip
It hinders discernment making thoughts race to conclusion
Even knowing what was rendered must have been an illusion
Facts become fables as your vision becomes blurry
Friends & family become distant as you scoff on your journey
Leaving traces of brilliance in the errors of your ways
It leaves you broken down and beaten left with nothing to say
You can call it confusion or onset mental illness
But those who experience this know just what they're doing
Stepping over the edge is somewhat of a tragedy
As if life is some sitcom met with drama emphatically
It's such a shame to see great minds get destroyed
With so much sorrowful heartache what then to fill the void?....
Something happens when we accept our own defeat
There's confusion and silence ego trip wakens from sleep
Without knowing we abandon our plan to continue
Justifiably argued grandiose our opinions
Even though there's a part clinging on to the truth
Snuffed with malice deniably wrapped in reproof
We ignore it in spite of the honesty seethed
Bringing shame to toughest of men to their knees
I would offer solutions garner values and proofs
But Noone cares about honor and conviction, they lose
Genuinely said I just wish I could help
Even if I'm rebuked I will forgive you for myself
Funny isn't it? One day we will all be dead
And therefore I can die knowing there was nothing left unsaid....
Inert by the hurt
In my brain it drives me insane
This carnal rage with lust respite,
Hanging on to life with hands of sleight
Caught in the middle nothing real feels right
It might be drugs so take a pass
No its not that easy aloof, alone, alas...
Left bewildered, confused, misunderstood and broken
To sinking deeper into muddy waters, sullen
This open wound has formed a cyst
Why do you insist on this you pessimist?
It's not my fault stop pointing back. ("Ok, persist")
And why do you always fold when you should play the hand?
It's not too hard to go all in just slam it like a man
Your time is up I'm through with it I've really got to go.
I hope you love the life you chose
I'll make sure to leave a rose.
Falling, falling, forever falling.
We know of nothing else.
Our lives are formed by attraction.
Something draws us closer
It is a pull we feel.
The grounded feel it also
growing in them all their lives
until they stop
to be a part of some much larger
heartbeat than their own.
We do not mind this quiet life at times
watching our brothers and sisters
falling by our side.
We were all born to fall.
We come from the same Father
falling jointly to those who have gone before.
We will rest inside each others’ memory.
Side by side alike in our falling
but different in so many ways.
No two of us alike.
A lifetime given to us all
however great, however small
until we land.
Some will land in the night
some will go to the light
the luckiest of all
are those who fall
to a child’s out-stretched tongue,
what better way
for snowflakes to be done.
Your love is my love
I wanna live in your house
we are triumphant
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