Poor Ronald had bad diarrhoea
Wet faeces shot out of his rear
Large brown stain was spreading
New pants he'll be shedding
His wedding day's ruined - oh dear!
Cat faeces in piles on the grass
I’m tempted to butt plug cat’s ass
But two solar cat scarers
Have stopped cat crap terrors
Their solar charged tone works first class!
No kitty poop piles this week
Though daily its cat poop I seek
There’s no turds on my lawn
I’m no longer forlorn
Cat’s crapping elsewhere, YES! I shriek!
Endearing Ms Eilish not willy nilly a silly Billie got her wish despite the stares
Crys of why guys are there any let alone so many glutton button billionaires?
Not adhering to age old sage adage share if you've enough stuff to spare
Uncouth domineering untruths sold smearing sleuths as society tears
Sneering about profiteering mining shining spiting climate crisis scares
Cheering racketeering careering all about that flocks stocks & shares
Leering snares creatives gold left bereft fearing they're not their flair heirs
Persevering with cold jeering at hearing protests that then fold no one cares
Scold civic critics nearing the facts spearing by acts.. pacts & unfair flares
Cost of disappearing rare species now just pieces of faeces in their lost lairs
Searing temperatures rearing still somehow our despairs never even airs
Gearing up for the veering apocalypse peering as the sun stun gun glares
Must be bold steering pioneering derring do clearing these nightmares
Who dares volunteering to stop the interfering engineering by the billionaires?
Born in Lyme Regis Dorset
a palaeontologist fossil collector
in the English Channel marine bed cliffs
and a coprolites (faeces) detector
who at only twelve years old
found the first two skeletons plesiosaur
and outside Germany
that of a pterosaur
yet as a woman who did not
always receive full credit
for her scientific contributions
and ineligible to join to their discredit
the Geological Society of London
while struggling financially
for her it was no shell game
to make ends meet as circumstantially
when selling shells by the seashore
the seashore shells she sold
were her start of the first shell company
by the Natural History Museum in London I was told
Despite your intelligence mimicry,
You still come far short in your gimmickry,
Throwing down the drains fine masterpieces,
Flushed away as a fresh bout of faeces.
Nights without sleep to pen wonders on sheet,
Yet a lame detector brands one a cheat,
An app claiming to be a true genius ~
Is far from being labeled ingenious.
How long will your pretence rule human minds,
Before you're swept off by the southern winds,
That your charade may stop to fool the world,
And your foolishness may at last unfurl.
Strange how your fanbase keeps on increasing,
Even the most smart, you're daily fleecing,
These cursed detectors come in many brands,
Some free – yet some charge dollars and rands.
I'm amazed you didn't claim this was by you,
This bitter pill, your pride has had to chew,
But that won't stop me from calling you out,
To nip in the bud your infamous clout.
Though craving their sweet choc chip pieces
I’m boycotting candy by Meeses
I loathe, nay abhor
This global trade war
Trump's tariffs – what a crock of faeces!
My old house stood
by a march
surrounded by bushes and rushes.
Thrown over it
garbage and faeces
sometimes,death rodents.
Disgustful it's dwellers often came up
on the portico of my house,
Intruded inside.
Yet pitiable every time
from it heard
the distress call of a frog
grabbed by a snake.
I filled the marsh with earth
cut down the bushes,
built a new house
in place of the old one.
But true to what old folks told
after a long time
it returned to me
myself felt it's dwellers.
Then, I preferred darkness,
I not be seen
and silence
listening their clatter,
wishing the bushes
myself to hide.
Teen Felix got pissed as a newt
His actions he could not dispute
He pee’d in the sink
Caused by demon drink
What happened next he can’t refute
He perched on the sink for a dump
Brown faeces came out of his rump
The weight of his load
Made the sink implode
My brother I just want to thump!
MELIORISM
This world stings like the scorpion,
And I will not filter in her tears,
This I said because I’m a champion,
Only throwing jabs, it really wears!
Like the faeces of a chameleon,
She stinks in her odourless sheers,
Truly this world bites in oblivion.
And never to be seen in klaipeda _
The elysian sky has deceived me,
Leaving behind their propaganda;
This dark ominous mangles me...
The tenet of retronym in obscurity,
Why we can walk without security.
The quell for fairness may wither,
As we skulk in together!
The gargoyle mole of pains...
Hardship is loose and unfettered;
As we wallow in this sane oneiric,
That never sought for the kindred,
Of conflate moth of harangue...
The axiomatic mild of the youths,
The automatic bunkum in heroism,
The cosplay to this hilarious pains,
The syringe to my bitter whinge.
To saudade for the shadows of life,
A vain wait for meliorism!
When will it get back bitterly better?
INTERNATIONAL!!
Criminals a'caught here.?
Send masks to cover faeces.)
A student at Turdbois Uni
Is studying Scatology
Sue must write a thesis
On impacted faeces
She admits it’s a crap degree!
I was once pristine
Then my owner gave me work ~
I’m down in the dumps!
Covered in faeces
Just used to shovel horse poop
It’s such a crap job!
Sloth hangs upside down in a tree
I look up and unfortunately
Golden pee it releases
With a week’s worth of faeces
I’ll admit I am far from happy!
A sloth only excretes once a week and can lose a third of its body weight
A little poetic licence, they actually excrete on the ground
10/21/21
I never had much of an inflated ego
Vanity left me at birth
Our self esteem should travel wherever we go
But I always doubted my worth
The awful commotion of plane hitting ocean
Woke every shark in the sea
And I’m left alone with a gut wrenching notion
Why did they overlook me
The crash had killed plenty, the sharks had took twenty
So why did our lord make me last
I doubted a sentry was there to defend me
The next shark did not just swim past
‘My lord,’ I called out, ’what was I about?
Deliver some meaning to me’
That shark chewed me up, and then he said ‘YUK!’
And spat me back into the sea
He coughed and he spluttered and then the shark muttered
’I thought that I’d tasted it all...
I’ve eaten your species, but you taste like faeces’
And that made me feel really small.
The Canal
Pollock painted pathways
Jagged edged, reaching to infinity
Artfully designed
In perspective
With purple and yellow blotches
On the grassy bank.
Faeces placed with little thought
By seagulls, swans,
Ducks and dogs
All make their mark
Creating an asphalt masterpiece.
Crook-backed,
A recreant rook is perched aloft,
Eyes on fire, a shining cloak of black,
Surveying the unfinished canvas
Down below,
Perhaps to add a forgotten brushstroke.
The canal
Marches onward
One bridge at a time.
On reflection
The stippled surface
A crusted skin of
Black and tan,
Silver and grey
Tries, at least,
To bid farewell to another winter.
Upside-down people amble
The path above
Whilst mid-way,
Huddled clumps of gold bring brightness
To a morbid
Sullen day.
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