Short Faeces Poems
Short Faeces Poems. Below are examples of the most popular short poems about Faeces by PoetrySoup poets. Search short poems about Faeces by length and keyword.
Durin' the time I was passing my urine
My faeces were falling to pieces
Submitted to Juvenilia Contest
13th March 2015
A student at Turdbois Uni
Is studying Scatology
Sue must write a thesis
On impacted faeces
She admits it’s a crap degree!
I know a monkey
At the zoo
Big fat lazy ape
You make faces at him
And he'll throw faeces at you.
W.A CHOLT. Copyright Fergal O Reilly. 2019.
I was once pristine
Then my owner gave me work ~
I’m down in the dumps!
Covered in faeces
Just used to shovel horse poop
It’s such a crap job!
Though craving their sweet choc chip pieces
I’m boycotting candy by Meeses
I loathe, nay abhor
This global trade war
Trump's tariffs – what a crock of faeces!
Poor Ronald had bad diarrhoea
Wet faeces shot out of his rear
Large brown stain was spreading
New pants he'll be shedding
His wedding day's ruined - oh dear!
An in-patient named Mustapha Dump
Said his faeces were wedged in a lump
His diet must improve
So the blockage can move
Or his treatment’s a huge suction pump!
08-29-17
A professor has published his thesis
On removal of impacted faeces
Use the end of a pencil
Or a kitchen utensil
to dislodge clumps of faeces in pieces!
Told you it was a crap poem!
05/14/20
Sloth hangs upside down in a tree
I look up and unfortunately
Golden pee it releases
With a week’s worth of faeces
I’ll admit I am far from happy!
A sloth only excretes once a week and can lose a third of its body weight
A little poetic licence, they actually excrete on the ground
10/21/21
Teen Felix got pissed as a newt
His actions he could not dispute
He pee’d in the sink
Caused by demon drink
What happened next he can’t refute
He perched on the sink for a dump
Brown faeces came out of his rump
The weight of his load
Made the sink implode
My brother I just want to thump!
Bats who are hanging in need of a crap
Are advised to themselves not besmirch
Much better to go for a toiletry flap
Than do their own poo on their perch
For what, otherwise, from their uppermost end
Trickles down to the head through the fur
Proves gravity is not the roostdangler's friend
Especially when bowel movements stir!
On warm sunny mornings, down by the canals,
trudge humans with canines – their supposed best pals.
I often wonder which is the smarter species.
The one that can’t read, at the front of the lead?
Or the one on-tow, clutching a small bag of faeces?
this Poem was first posted on my Blog with one of my cartoons, which can be seen here: http://wp.me/p2mUkP-hC
Cat faeces in piles on the grass
I’m tempted to butt plug cat’s ass
But two solar cat scarers
Have stopped cat crap terrors
Their solar charged tone works first class!
No kitty poop piles this week
Though daily its cat poop I seek
There’s no turds on my lawn
I’m no longer forlorn
Cat’s crapping elsewhere, YES! I shriek!
The bird said to the bee"I am the best",
The bee replied "the best is in my nest",
My sweet waste serves as honey,
as your singing is funny,
buzzing or singing we fly like the rest.
The bird added"though your faeces is sweet",
"I move with my two wings like a fast fleet",
Your sting is very painful;
much annoying and dreadful,
But,we are both dancing to the same beat.
A pet hate that sure makes me heave -
dog faeces some pet owners leave
I could write a thesis
on smelly dog faeces ...
it’s easy enough to retrieve!
When Fido’s tail begins to wag
please carry a poop scoop or bag
You need to bend down
to pick up its ‘brown’ ...
clean pavements, I don’t need to nag!
It really gets me going Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Kevin Shaw
5/2/19