To the best of my memory, the word brainwash
has been used in reference to me only twice.
The first time happened more than 50 years ago.
The second one occurred less than a year ago.
One referred to my religious involvement.
The other was connected to social ideology.
The first one came from a stranger
The other came from a relative.
When told that I had been brainwashed
in reference to my beliefs about Christ, I felt
nothing amiss about such assessment.
In fact, such a veiw of me was acceptable.
However, when charged by a relative that I had
been among certain people and allowed myself
to be brainwashed by them, I was taken aback
and deeply hurt.
I took offense by my relative's accusation and
told him so. He apologized for how it made me
feel, and I have forgiven him. Notwithstanding,
although the subject has not risen again, there
is a very thin wall between us regarding that
encounter. We are close friends, but I cannot
deny that something 'not good' happened that day.
From deep heartbeat
To deep heartfelt
To deep heartache.
I would have to say the greatest performance of my life is survival
And turning bad things into something positive to help others
I survived severe trauma as a child, I was silenced and deeply hurt
I survived Cancer later, accidents, Lyme disease, near death experiences
I survived by working in human services to help others, giving to friends
And I assisted a leader volunteering at a support group in the area
I was an investigator and I pursued justice for many years
Most of all, I create as best I can to spread what I have in my soul
I write – I paint – I play piano
I hope that my words of truth will reach others however possible
I hope that my music will bring peace and relaxation
I hope that my paintings will bring happiness and inspiration
I turned the bad into good to survive because this can be achieved
I am also a mother to my loving, special pets who mean so much to me
We can always give and share and love and inspire others
Regardless of what we have been through, this is what I have learned
Heidi Sands
5/21/22
A 1st placement in The Greatest Performance of My Life Poetry Contest
Sponsor: JCB Brul
I saw you across the room
You were with my best friend
Dancing to a slow song -Harvest Moon
You held her tightly in your arms
Then planted a passionate kiss
Oh Its My Party and i will cry if I want to
Cry if I want to and I did
I was deeply hurt and shocked
If You Could Read My Mind
You would know my hurtful thoughts
Oh my heart aches so badly
So your friend came up to me
He spoke calmly softly
He called me Blue Angel
Said he would never leave me
Feelings he had for me was strongBlue Bayyou
Strong feelings for me
He said "Together we would go
to the BlueBayou where the
sailboats go a float int Blue Bayou
Won't you forget what I done
Please forgive me won't you son
Should never've touched that gun
Mom's love truly was my only one
Didn't mean the killin' I done
Never tell 'em I'm the one
Should never've touched that gun
Forgive me please won't you son
The circle surely is now broken
For all feelings long unspoken
I deeply hurt you when I ran
Please don't hate me 'cause you can
Your heart is open and always been
Some lettin' out and lettin' in
But before the next teardrop falls
Take them pictures off the walls
Remember me when long time gone
All you've got is this sad song
injustices larger than life
rage still trembling
through her weary body
still in total disbelief
the assault on her core
her life her soul
her mind shattered in disillusion
imploding her whole belief system
betrayed
feeling ever so vulnerable
marooned
disillusioned
deeply hurt
brutally attacked
with blows
directly to the heart
AP: Honorable Mention 2021
If only I could read the sign infront I would find a way to whom I'm meant to be
My heart is a broken plate
My heart is fire burning in flames
You played me like a play station
Ohh what pain I've felt
I didn't know who to tell
I had low self-image
I had no confidence
How do you sleep at night
Knowing that you have hurt someone
Knowing that you've killed somebody daily with pain
Knowing that someone is deeply hurt
Where do you get the guts to be happy
How could you?
If only I could read a sign in front I would find a way to whom I'm meant to be
Old And Holding Aces
I am old, youth lost does so deeply hurt
no more whiskey drinking brawls,
now slow and tired, feeling older than dirt
I no longer chase the pretty gals at all.
I am old, bad knees and snow on my head
no more , wild nights out dancing,
watch late news, now fall asleep instead
gone forever are my days out prancing.
I am old, can see the doorway awaiting
slow stepping my way over there,
Love-life over, no more sweet mating
I now can only sadly look and stare.
I am old, just damn glad to have now made it!
Do I now, hold onto last two aces or do I trade it?
Robert J. Lindley. 08-21-2015
Note- Sonnet mixture of truth , humor and
a sad realty!
Poetic leeway employed in the line about -
"Love-life over, no more sweet mating"
As trust me, thankfully that is not problem at all.
Hate me
Berate me
Despise me
Deeply hurt me
Traumatise me
Use me
Ridicule me
And brutalise me
Hit me
Kick me
punch me
Reject me
Stamp and dance on my grave
And have a rave
Squeeze every molecule of happiness
From my wretched soul
Poke me in the eye
And stab me until I die
I am despicable
Forgettable
Unwanted
Unloved
Useless
Cursed to be born
This is how you make me feel
This life mine and real
I sleep and when I awake
The nightmare begins again
My heart so full of pain
So lonely and lost
Death a welcoming beckoning friend
Can't take any more,
Peter Dome.Copyright.2015.May.
Feet not up yet dreaming looking into the deep distant horizon screams
need to take turf in remembering howls across oceans mourning dream special wish
You would want a good fire tonight for sure ice stormy fierce cold cutting
out walking giant waves hitting of the shore thundering pounds lashing clash
Today the wind fairly woke me up piercing wide eye opening vision
Then when I got home just felt ten years younger alive again one storm
Now that's a good omen laughing to myself carries one to the high Heavens
Must be the salted spray love mixed with sea mist smashes you to the ground love
New therapy go out to the sea front as gales howling with angry force break news
blowing giant waves crashing heavy of cliffs thundering roars echoes inside sad
Wind spitting sea salt sand peppering the face in your hardened heart
hate remains your driving engine unforgiving hung up on the past
By Elton Camp
Old Dad wants memories to share
Yet, his child hasn’t the least care
Though he’s elderly, he still tries
But his words she does despise
“No, I don’t have time for you
More important things I must do.
To interrupt me don’t you dare
Your tired tales I just can’t bear.”
“Really, it doesn’t interest me
I am too busy, can’t you see?
You tell about times long ago.
To that I’m indifferent, though.”
If he persists in trying to talk,
Out of the room, she’ll stalk.
“Your ideas are so out-of-date
To hear them, I utterly hate.”
Old Dad is very deeply hurt
At her actions & words so curt
Another time he’ll again try
Now, he sits alone with a sigh
After some years, the time came
Dad no longer knew her name
So no more did he try to share
Only confusion remained there
He would bother her no more
With words she did so abhor
this is no lie
i won't to die
i felt like a jerk
my feeling was alert
and deeply hurt
theses no lies
I CRIED
Tired. Unwanted. Alone
Three words I'm used to saying because I always feel like i'm "on my own."
Physically here. Emotionally gone. Deeply hurt.
A body in motion, but mind & soul feeling in the dirt.
Painful memories. Restless nights. Horrid Dreams.
Caused by a dreadful past that still haunts the mind and causes tears & screams.
Each line in this poem is the true emotion of a broken teen,
A broken teen messed up because of all the dangers foreseen.
A body so young, yet feeling so old.
A mind so imaginative, but yet has nothing to be told.
A soul so pure, but left feeling so cold.
A relationship with God is number one, but with the obstacles he set out, have made it harder to be done.
I Have No Time for You
By Elton Camp
Old Dad wants to give advice
To his child, it’s “No dice”
Though he’s elderly, he still tries
But his words she does despise
“No, I don’t have time for you
More important things I must do.
With online pals I want to chat
And I really care a lot about that.”
“To interrupt me don’t you dare
Hold the stuff you want to share.
Really, it doesn’t interest me
I am too busy, can’t you see?”
“You tell about times long ago.
To that I’m indifferent, though.
If you persist in trying to talk,
Out of the room, I’ll angrily stalk.”
“Your ideas are so out-of-date
To hear them, I utterly hate.”
Old Dad is very deeply hurt
At her actions & words so curt
Yet another time, he’ll again try
Now, he sits alone with a sigh
After some years, the time came
Dad no longer knew her name
No more wisdom did he try to share
For only confusion remained there
He would bother her no more
With words she did so abhor
In the scorching sun,
friends and shadowy trees alike
- egos deeply hurt
Sub Categories
Looking for the formal definition, structure, and history of this poetry form? Visit the Poetry Dictionary entry below. Then return to explore how PoetrySoup members bring the form to life through their own poems.