Long Deeply hurt Poems
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Now gather around, ye lusty lads, a tale I'll tell to thee
Of jealous Gods, monsters and ill-fated men who sailed the sea.
My tale is set in hoary times when fickle fate was by divine decree.
Then men were men who faced all odds, much sturdier than you or me.
It was the time when the Trozans fell, King Priam's pride was turned to dust,
Odysseus' ruse of Trozan Horse, made him of the God's accursed;
For Apollo's faith was crushed by heel of Grecian fleet,
And rape and pillage, with lust and greed, was rampant on the street
But fair Odysseus, with wanton fill, mindful of the weep and wail
With his Grecian hordes and a dozen ships to Ithaca did set sail
With hope-filled heart, with fair Penelope and Telemachus in mind
His course to fair Ithaca was charted and well and truly defined.
But fate, I did say, was most fickle-minded, and had deviously contrived
A fate which would try their grit and test how they fought, and survived.
And so the ships driven willy-nilly by the North Westers and South Easters
Drove them by predetermined chance to the Land of the Lotus Eaters.
The Lotus Eaters were a race which the world forgot in their drugged state
With food of the Nelumbo, of a species time forgot, but did their hunger sate,
And drugged their minds to exclusion of world, to family, and other cares.
Odysseus , abstinent was he,, dragged them back on board, with crew unawares.
Thence post-haste did the ships set sail and sighted fair isle with fatted cattle,
Fair game for stocking provisions, but first a Titan Cyclops they had to battle.
Odysseus, full of guile knew that force would lead to hapless naught,
So crept he in, midst cattle din, and there sleeping Polyphemus sought.
And there as the Cyclops soundly slept, blinded his eye, which was but one.
Polyphemus, Titan, unbeknownst to Odysseus, was Poseidon's beloved son.
With prideful boast Ithacan King, in derision his name did daringly decree.
Wild with rage, and dreadful pain, did Polyphemus call his father from the sea.
Deeply hurt at deceit and guile by which the Grecians blinded his offspring,
Poseidon did curse and said, " May stormy seas and whirly winds calamity bring"
So tossed about were the dozen ships, windblown and tossed on heaving seas.
With heavy heart and tired limb went they to Aeolus, the Wind God there to please.
~11 Jun 2016~
To the best of my memory, the word brainwash
has been used in reference to me only twice.
The first time happened more than 50 years ago.
The second one occurred less than a year ago.
One referred to my religious involvement.
The other was connected to social ideology.
The first one came from a stranger
The other came from a relative.
When told that I had been brainwashed
in reference to my beliefs about Christ, I felt
nothing amiss about such assessment.
In fact, such a veiw of me was acceptable.
However, when charged by a relative that I had
been among certain people and allowed myself
to be brainwashed by them, I was taken aback
and deeply hurt.
I took offense by my relative's accusation and
told him so. He apologized for how it made me
feel, and I have forgiven him. Notwithstanding,
although the subject has not risen again, there
is a very thin wall between us regarding that
encounter. We are close friends, but I cannot
deny that something 'not good' happened that day.
Feet not up yet dreaming looking into the deep distant horizon screams
need to take turf in remembering howls across oceans mourning dream special wish
You would want a good fire tonight for sure ice stormy fierce cold cutting
out walking giant waves hitting of the shore thundering pounds lashing clash
Today the wind fairly woke me up piercing wide eye opening vision
Then when I got home just felt ten years younger alive again one storm
Now that's a good omen laughing to myself carries one to the high Heavens
Must be the salted spray love mixed with sea mist smashes you to the ground love
New therapy go out to the sea front as gales howling with angry force break news
blowing giant waves crashing heavy of cliffs thundering roars echoes inside sad
Wind spitting sea salt sand peppering the face in your hardened heart
hate remains your driving engine unforgiving hung up on the past
I would have to say the greatest performance of my life is survival
And turning bad things into something positive to help others
I survived severe trauma as a child, I was silenced and deeply hurt
I survived Cancer later, accidents, Lyme disease, near death experiences
I survived by working in human services to help others, giving to friends
And I assisted a leader volunteering at a support group in the area
I was an investigator and I pursued justice for many years
Most of all, I create as best I can to spread what I have in my soul
I write – I paint – I play piano
I hope that my words of truth will reach others however possible
I hope that my music will bring peace and relaxation
I hope that my paintings will bring happiness and inspiration
I turned the bad into good to survive because this can be achieved
I am also a mother to my loving, special pets who mean so much to me
We can always give and share and love and inspire others
Regardless of what we have been through, this is what I have learned
Heidi Sands
5/21/22
A 1st placement in The Greatest Performance of My Life Poetry Contest
Sponsor: JCB Brul
The Lord is never threatened by the devil's ability to deceive and destroy, nor is He in the lease overwhelmed by man's wayward decent and defiance.
The Lord Himself put the timelines in the layers of earth, rocks, and trees. These same lines have given reasons by many to disbelieve in the creation
story. It's not just the timelines, but the heavens also declare God's glory and the open sky His handiwork. The entire universe in His vast domain has
been set in motion to rise and fall by His decrees. It was the Lord who gave GPS to the birds and the bees and stop signs to the waves of the seas.
When He used His loving hands to form man from the dust, or when God
wrote the 10 Commandments with His own fiery hands, or when He inspired
Moses to record the 5 books of the Pentateuch, He was not attempting to prove to anyone that he existed or explain the age and meaning of the
universe. He was building relationships with the objects of His affection and was deeply hurt and saddened by man's mad rush to defection and defiance.
I tell you, God encourages the pursuit of man's rule of the earth and the exploration of this great universe. So, if we should choose to expand our
minds until our gnostic thirst is satisfied, or even until we replace our brains with millions of computers and A I devices, let none assume that their 'findings'
will detect a world devoid of God. God has always been. God always is. God will always be. God will continue pursuing and loving us until the bitter end.
Earthly satisfaction of the human thirst is limited to none. My prayer is that we agree with St. Augustine's conclusion of finding no rest except in God.
101519PoSoupCtest, Strand Select 9. No placement, Judged
011220, Written 101519. 2nd Ctest, Take The Dagger Out, Dear Heart
I don’t always say the right things
Words don’t always come easily to me
Revealing the way my heart quietly sings
Lifting the burdens too heavy to see
I don’t always reach out with grace
When I see a heart yearning, full of doubt
Yet, I know what it is to offer an embrace
To the souls who struggle to find their way out
I don’t always listen when I intend to ease pain
Listen and consider what it means to lend a hand
Sometimes I feel like it might drive me insane
This feeling of lacking – is my head buried in the sand?
I don’t always know what to say or do for someone
When they’re deeply hurt or doubting their ability.
But, thank God, I know – this bright morning SON
Who can offer them comfort, with such sweet humility
I don’t always have the faith that I would like to
Sometimes I don’t behave just the way I intend
But, through His grace, I have a hope that grew
From knowing there is love that will fully mend
With Him – the Holy One, God’s only Son
I know a peace beyond explaining, a quiet hope
From knowing that, whatever comes, Love has won
Because I know my Savior, I can always cope.
I don’t always know the answers, or the right solution
But I know a man named Jesus who arose in victory
To show the world that despite the worst persecution
There is hope beyond words, and it’s never contradictory!
She wouldn't let the guilt warp her mind into believing its perception of her
She knew who she was
And she was is a girl who's been deeply hurt
She knew deep down no one was coming to save her
That she would have to see herself
Hear herself
And listen to her self
The pain ached
It felt like a slow death
But she knew it would be slower
More painful
If she didn't take a deep breath
Get up
And work on loving herself
She could sit in the pain
But not allow it to swallow her
To trap her in this never ending story
Of the emotions raging inside her
Begging to be released
Her pain was her comfort
Something that got her like no other
She let it feed on her
Draining her of all Bodily fluids
Festering in places turned rotten
And In return it gave her love
Something she hadn't received from the world
She knew she couldn't drown in the vast sea of life
She knew she couldn't stay shackled to her grave of eternal suffering
Waiting for her down below
She found comfort in the idea of the safety of her pain
Protecting her from a world that has hurt her
A world that didn't accept her
A world that tore apart her skin colour
A world that silenced her blackness
She understood her pain
Her anxiety
It wanted to protect her from a society so cruel
To protect her already shattered heart
To protect her from being torn apart
She knew she had to let them rest
To tell them she didn't need need their protection
To tell them thank you for loving her in their own special way
That she is okay
That it's time for them to go to bed
That they need not have any regrets
Because they helped the little girl inside her
To survive
To get by
That they were the only thing that kept her going
Who helped turn her into the person she was
That she loved them so much
But she had to let go
But she would never forget them
I saw you across the room
You were with my best friend
Dancing to a slow song -Harvest Moon
You held her tightly in your arms
Then planted a passionate kiss
Oh Its My Party and i will cry if I want to
Cry if I want to and I did
I was deeply hurt and shocked
If You Could Read My Mind
You would know my hurtful thoughts
Oh my heart aches so badly
So your friend came up to me
He spoke calmly softly
He called me Blue Angel
Said he would never leave me
Feelings he had for me was strongBlue Bayyou
Strong feelings for me
He said "Together we would go
to the BlueBayou where the
sailboats go a float int Blue Bayou