When everyone wore Calvin Klein
I wore pairs of Old Navy jeans and graphic tees
When everyone carried a mouthful Menthol Cigarettes
I carried a mouthful of Sour Patch Kids
When everyone was having cups of Kalik
I was having cups of Pina Coladas
When everyone was rocking Air Jordans
I was rocking flip flops and Converse
When everyone went to Atlantis and Baha Mar
I went to Blue Lagoon and Ardastra Gardens
When everyone wanted to go to Miami
I wanted to go to Key West, Maui or Bora Bora
When everyone grew up to be a police
a teacher or a front desk clerk
I grew up to be a tour guide,
a beach nomad and a storyteller
He pulled up to the Triple "T" Ranch in a shiny Cadillac.
In his trailer was an Arabian steed with the finest tack.
He wore Tony Lama alligator boots and Calvin Klein jeans,
And a stylish Stetson hat - he looked like a man of means!
He strode to the corral where grizzled cowpokes lazed.
They chortled at the greenhorn, each of them amazed!
"Where's the boss?" he asked, "I'm seeking a position!"
"Over yonder" said they. (The boss eyed him with great suspicion!)
The boss sauntered over to see what the hullabaloo was all about.
"I'll handle this! You fellers git back to work!" he said with a shout!
He sized up the lad saying, "Son, I ain't impressed with them fancy labels!
But you're hired! Here's a shovel! Ya kin start by muckin' out them stables!"
Entry for Carolyn Devonshire's "Green Humor Rhymes" Contest
Crystal Noir by Versace
Truth by Calvin Klein
Eau de Cartier
Armanis Life
Oscar de la Renta Oriental Lace
Chanel Coco Mademoiselle
Nina Ricci Belle de Minuit
Vera Wang Princess
Dolce & Gabbana The One
Lancôme Hypnôse
Guerlain Insolence
Dior Midnight Poison
Calvin Klein Euphoria
Estée Lauder Beyond Paradise
Cacharel Amor Amor
Anna Sui Romantica Exotica
AP: Honorable Mention 2020
Posted on February 21, 2019
Danny was a smart fellow,
he always seemed mellow...
some thought he was gay
and became an easy prey.
Danny spoke with an accent
very distinctive to an extent;
even the wealthy derided him,
and one of them was Mr. Skim.
" Bastards!" He yelled with much rage,
" Hard times destroyed my elite image
and they insult me by tossing dimes...
while they munch on Chicken Fries! "
" Even in brutal weather, I holds sign
that reads," I wear no Calvin Klein'
jeans and sneakers, no Gucci' jewelry;
I have lost my job...have a little mercy! "
A good-hearted man approaches his sill
and kindly offers him a hundred dollar bill,
" Buy yourself a warm blanket and food,
some Coors to blast away your sad mood! "
Written on 10/24/2018
Designer underpants are the rage
With Hanes and Joe Boxer too
Fruit of the Loom and Calvin Klein
I can name more than just a few
How about Banana Republic
Also Navy and Tommy John
They're the same but different
Try some Katz or Aussiebum on
Call them knickers, shorts, or underwear
But don't be fooled by the song and dance
What they are for, is always the same
To keep the poop off of your pants!
I stumbled drunkenly through Stroud
Passed the kebab van on the hill,
When all at once I saw a crowd
Of ladettes – taunting the old bill;
Just for a lark, just for a wheeze,
Flirting and dancing, dressed to tease.
Bedecked with bling, drinking cheap wine,
A clowder of cats out to play,
Perfume and bags by Calvin Klein
All you can eat slapper buffet.
Looking for violence not romance,
Tossing the V’s in fighting stance.
The plods approached askance, as they
Ignored them and crouched down to pee;
The deluge nearly washed away,
The council’s prized floral display!
I gazed – amazed - at just how short;
Their skirts were and indeed how taut.
Often now – I sit down and cry
(Sometimes it puts me off my food)
When I recall what I did spy
The female form so crass and rude;
Those harpies in search of cheap thrills,
Stooped - pissing on the daffodils.
(apologies to Mr Wordsworth)
You never wear cologne to work
But there you go
Out the door
In your tie
Smelling like Calvin Klein
I want to ask, "For whom?"
But I just wave good-bye
My heart is racing
I'm afraid of
The Why
I watch you pull away
Looking for clues
A sign
I take a deep breath
Smells like Calvin Klein
(This poem is my favorite because I feel like it really captures the fear. the instant panic, the denial, and ultimately back to the fear he's cheating. )
Received 2nd place in "Your (OWN) favorite poem" contest
Received honorable mention in "Your Favourite Form" contest
You never wear cologne to work
But there you go
Out the door
In your tie
Smelling like Calvin Klein
I want to ask, "For whom?"
But I just wave good-bye
My heart is racing
I'm afraid of
The Why
I watch you pull away
Looking for clues
A sign
I take a deep breath
Smells like Calvin Klein
Received 2nd place in "Your (OWN) Favorite Poem" contest
Received Honorable Mention in "Your Favourite Form" contest
my friends say I look different
have I changed my hair?
is that a new shirt?
or am I dressing with a new flair?
they don't know the half of it
if they looked deeper they would see
it's the love I feel inside
that looks so good on me
it's not Calvin Klein
or my new Michael Kors
it's not Vera Wang
it's the heart that used to be yours
shining from deep within
with everything that I wear
your love looks good on me
that's what making them stare
Coola den a fan
This woman is coola than a fan!!
Obsession on my wrist
Calvin Klein all on my behind
Five five big butt no gut and strut like a stallion
Got my tendrils flipped and my lip gloss will make you blind
when i'm ready i'm ready
i aint watching the time cause
Im’ma party like a rock star so buy me a drink
I’ll pop lock and drop it then two step
come walk it out with me
dutty wine pon de riva
even do the scooby do
when my coupe come through like luda biatch you betta move
step up to the plate if you think you can handle me
I gave Omarion that icebox where his heart used to be
You might be cold as ice
But you still aint cool as me
Cause I can take it to the street
Or be at home playin wifey
Even get in the studio makin’ hits for Twinbeatz
Don’t take it personal I know you just don’t understand
How I can make you hot
But I stay coola den a fan
Concrete bedroom w/ lights & sound.
People gather across wet streets --
The click of a women’s heel --
Many clicks like horses trotting.
Herds of clunking mares fighting
for the prize.
Recognition in being the first horse
across the finish line
The first blue suit from Calvin Klein.
Our country is at war.
Kids are dying!
I know those things but do you know
when the Rolex store closes?