Best Shopping Poems
It wasn't his first choice
To put all his stuff
In the shopping cart
he found
behind the Walmart
He didn't even care
about the wonky wheel
Somehow
It gave it the perfect feel
He was never one of the ones
to go in a straight line
So he liked it just fine
Some might think
he's a bit strange
Trying to cling onto
some of his old life stuff
A small comfort on the street
that most people
don't think of as rough
Less is more
when you don't have enough
Giving up even that
is kinda tough
He's not out to hurt anyone
He just wants to be left alone
Instead someone called to complain
with their iPhone
"The guy with the shopping cart
is out there again"
They don't want to see inconvenient truths
So he's left to feel the pain
his cart confiscated
all his stuff poured out
left in a pile in the rain.
Maybe someone
could give the guy a room
Instead of sweeping him away
with a bylaw broom
It wouldn't have to be a big room
just a small one to start
A bit larger than a shopping cart
Now that would be something
to warm more than his heart
A shopping cart initiative
Trade up to a space
People no longer nameless
a smile on their face
A little is a lot
when mixed with grace
Everyone
Yes everyone
should have their own place
It’s all of three feet long, in order it is not,
And then there’s all the other stuff she’s probably forgot,
The first thing on the list, it simply just says, ‘beans’,
Is that broad beans, baked beans, whatever does she mean?
Next is the marmalade, there’s a hundred in the store,
And if I get it wrong she’ll say, ‘it’s the one I had before!!’
There goes another ping, it’s the fifth message to date,
‘Don’t forget the milk’ it reads, ‘if you can accommodate?’
Next it is the bread - brown and white and crust,
With a helpful little note saying, ‘the thickness I’m not fussed!’
But the note that takes the biscuit states, ‘get something for tea!’
Now is that for the both of us or possibly just me?
Course the final item on the list takes me back to the first aisle,
It’s another lengthy trip, so far I’ve clocked a mile.
I reach the checkout desk and there goes another ping,
It says ‘tomato sauce, oxo cubes and a pack of chicken wings.’
The checkout girl senses, my frustration and dismay,
By honestly enquiring, if I’m having a good day,
But I look at all the stuff she is bleeping at the till
And wonder how, with three bags, I’ll ever fit it in!
At home comes the inquest of each item I have bought,
And all items not listed, I’m well and truly caught!
The marmalade is wrong, the butter isn’t light,
But think I’ve done quite well as it’s fifty percent right!
Shopping day arrives and the shopper
has in mind
A delicacy called veal she knows she
will find
It's in a nicely wrapped pack its contents
pink
She'll cook it just right with some wine
to drink
But there's a sad story behind that Plastic
pack
A baby's calf's body not long ago was on
a rack
He had cried and cried where did mama
go
She had never left him alone like this before
Then they led him at last down that scary
Green Mile
His legs were shaking and he tried hard not
to defile
He heard the cries from the animals all around
He thought he heard mama as he fell dead on
the ground
Online shopping, now the norm
from the comfort of your home,
with scroll of wheel and click of mouse
pages of goods you comb.
Convenient, yes- maybe, but
no matter what they sell,
the thing I miss the most of all
are all those lovely smells.
Our hardware shop- a heady mix
of metals, wood, and seeds
a bakery at dawn, fresh bread
to satisfy your needs.
The bookshop: that's my favourite,
new ink on a new page
that changes as the years go by,
the mustiness of age.
Tobacconists had pleasant blends,
nice smells in their raw state,
but turned to smoke just make me choke
long since quit, that I hate.
So many shops face closure now
not so much 'when' but 'if',
so get out there and pay a call,
buy things- and have a sniff.
One day while fishing Noah feels a tug upon his rod,
“I think I’ve caught a fish!” he yells, “Please, let it be a cod!”
He pulls his rod and reels his line to see what’s on the hook.
Then leans towards the sea so he can get a better look.
With wild excitement Noah peers to see what’s in the sea,
Then drops his tackle with a start, and turns around to flee.
The biggest shark that Noah’s ever seen is on the line,
It’s thrashing, pulling, chomping, chewing hard on Noah’s twine.
“Hey! You up there, how dare you! What on earth d’you think you’re doing?
Let me go at once or I promise you, this day you will be ruing!
I’ll beat you soundly; hard enough your eyes will soon be popping.
Now let me go so I can swim and get back to my shopping."
“Sharks don’t shop!” said Noah, “you just swim around and fight.
And when I’m swimming with my friends you give us all a fright.
We’re scared and try to run away but you guys bite our legs,"
Says the shark "I'm shopping, honestly. Look, here's a dozen eggs.
And here's a nice new dress I found. I think it will look nice
With these red boots from Dover Soles. I bought them at half price.
What about this perfume? Take a sniff it's Chanel 5.
Do you like it? Try some on your wrist. It makes me feel alive!"
So Noah holds his arm out to receive a squirt of scent.
And the shark bites through his elbow just right where his arm is bent.
"You rotter!" Noah screams, "you ate my arm, oh why, oh why?"
"All that shopping made me hungry" says the shark, "so long, goodbye!"
SHOPPING TOGETHER
We went to the wood shop together
To select for the job the right timber -
Ooh, - laths, two-by-ones, maybe plywood ?
She was unmoved - finished, unfinished, one-side-good ?
Mmmm, - beech or oak or pine?
See the fine line and polished shine ?
She felt little emotion for my dowelling,
Any more than paper towelling.
She heard no timbre in struck timber,
No note she could remember :
It sent her to slumber
To encumber her mind with lumber -
It was all so much mumbo jumbo.
Standing with arms akimbo
No matter where she stood
It was just wood, wood, wood, wood.
“The Marketplace”
Today the marketplace is open.
Ready with crisp linens for handfuls of gold.
Hordes of buyers stomp the asphalt
scurrying by and through to the next.
I have worn my smile.
My hair is wind-born.
smelling of burnt amber and roses.
My dress, summer silk, covers my flesh -
Tones like island-bronze.
And I have worn my smile.
I banter over prices, politely.
Others haggle, fussing, who is next.
I, alone in my company, solo with passing
memories of your hands on my face.
I show everyone my smile.
Evening approaches, hushing the buzz of the crowd.
Memories of you sink into the dark...
falling with my head upon my pillow.
I remember walking the marketplace with you
and how you made me smile.
Faces come at me as stricken
as graveyard moons.
The supermarket hangs heavy,
laden as it is with neon anchors.
The aisles are runways for empty eyes,
a few sections contain searching bodies.
She turns to me at the check-out,
she has me tagged;
wine bottles from the mark-down bin
rattle on the moving counter.
She clutches a red plastic pocketbook.
Brown knee-length boots, dimples.
Gold button earrings - worn-out pretty;
hard liquor in soft bottles.
There is just us, and the
shuttling hands of the shop-worker'
She has to talk. "Sorry," she says.
I wonder if I should apologize also?
I think we are just forgiving each other
for being here in an awkward moment,
in the late hour, exposed like this.
Outside, the car park is lifting off
into the night.
A thousand aliens are leaving
to search for salvation.
I can't look at them,
each face is a small moon shining.
Technology taking over
Faster than we know
Smart phones and pretty gadgets
All these androids on the go
Shops are closing faster
Faster than we think
More jobs gone tomorrow
It’s an online shopping dream
Online shopping dream
Amazon, Ebay and Wal-Mart
Just to name a few
Online shopping for everyone
Is the future scaring you
You’ve got so many passwords
You can’t remember them
You’d rather stop but you need to shop
It’s an online shopping trend
Online shopping trend
Sitting here waiting patiently
For the parcel to come
We’ve got the date just can’t wait
But that parcel having fun
Has it been left outside my door
Because I never heard a ring
It’s likely disappeared again
That parcels’ a mystery
I miss that window shopping
The try before you buy
I used to shop until I’d drop
But you can kiss it all goodbye
So link your card to your account
Then you can do it too
Start your shopping online now
There’s not much else to do
Big name shops are closing down
They seem to follow suit
Joining in the online crowd
It’s an online shopping move
Online shopping move
Sitting here waiting patiently
For the parcel to come
We’ve got the date just can’t wait
But that parcel having fun
Has it been left outside my door
Because I never heard a ring
It’s likely disappeared again
That parcels’ a mystery
© Copyright KC.Leake
15th December 2016
All Rights Reserved
My wife went shopping yesterday
Posted missing what do the police say
Her weight color and eyes
Please tell me he cries
I need to know for the missing's display
Hey dude can you help me a little more
I know the more you tell hurts you sore
Was she slim was she fat
As a matter of fact
For this loss I'm feeling you adore
What kind of car was she in when she went
Did you own or was it a rent
C'mon, don't be a schmuck
She stole my lovely truck
Charge her for this felony dissent
Hey dude, we apologise for this run of luck
Describe her, for your so out of luck
"Brand new Stealth Black 2015 Ford F150 Raptor
4x4 with eco-boost 5.4L V8 engine special
ordered with manual transmission. Black ARC
bullbar with winch and LED driving lights.
Rock sliders and snorkel. It has custom matching
black canopy over the truck bed.
Hayman Reece towing package. I added a 4"
lift kit with stealth black special alloy wheels and 3.5"
off-road Mickey Thompsons. Custom leather seats
and RM Williams floor mats. DVD with HEMA
navigation system, 21 channel CB Radio,
six cup holders and four power outlets.
She even scratched the door, as he fills up,,,,
Don't worry buddy, we'll soon find your truck
.
Another request to Limerick another Joke.
A little different from the norm, but who gives a truck ;-)
Two days ago I filled up my fridge ... now it is empty - I was expecting visit of my cousin, her husband and seven hungry children
From fairness, is food the only thing that makes life worth living?
No one has a genetic defect that causes the body to make fat out of the air ...
Refill my fridge :
One liter of milk
Two cartons of juice
(the one with apples, orange and carrots)
Butter for bread
and butter for baking
Strawberry jam (without sugar)
White cheese, low fat
Brown cheese ... I must have the mild variety
Six yogurt, with different flavors
Eggs
Vegetables: Broccoli - (rich in iron) - Carrots - (contains beta carotene)
Onions - (reduces cholesterol levels, in the blood)
Some paprika/ red, yellow, orange and green (lots of vitamin C)
... and potatoes
Pure ham, chicken or turkey slices
Lots of fruit
Sardines on box
Salmon
Tomatoes ... (antioxidants)
One cucumber ... smells so delicious
- - don't forget the bread ... hot and freshly baked ... jummy
(Sorry, there is no Coca-Cola or chocolate in my fridge)
04.08.2019
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
* A fictional poem
Writing Challenge 3, July 2019 - List
Sponsored by: Dear Heart
3rd place in the contest
I'm Christmas shopping
Today it is done online
there's no crowds nor lines
Town malls are cluttered with Christmas shoppers,
toting packages of last-minute-list-droppers.
Carols echo from high pillared ceiling,
leaving one and all with a charitable feeling.
Door frames draped with assorted Christmas light,
center stands a lit tree, what a glorious sight.
Children align mall walls waiting for Santa Claus,
to listen to their wishes and wants, just because.
Long grueling lines wind through department aisles,
confirming it is Christmas with occasional smiles.
Feet are aching from walks to distant shop,
shoppers sitting on benches, some refuse to stop.
Copyright © 2011 By Caryl S. Muzzey
People walking head down staring into their cell phones
In pairs or all alone
Children pushing their children in buggies and prams
Traffic wardens and traffic jams
Zombies trying to walk through you with masses of shopping bags
Gangs of girls gangs of lads
Shop window displays to entice
Everything from ladies knickers
Toys and carving knifes
Shoppers sat in fish tanks having tea
Long queues at the bakery
Pregnant girls in tight fitting skimpy clothes
People with tattoos and rings through their nose
Police officers out for a gentle walk on a summers day
While the robbers elsewhere make a clean get away
Unruly children screaming
Clouds of choking cigarette smoke
People laughing telling jokes
Shoppers taking a rest on a bench
Old men staring at young wench
A busker playing the same song over and over on guitar
For pennies hoping someone passing
Will make them a star
Street vendor vultures prey on the unaware
''Have you had an accident''? money signs in their eyes
Bad accident they don't care
Gangs of people stood in shop doorways
So you can't get in
Lads like me trying to impress the girls
and holding our beer bellies in
Bargain here bargain there
This weeks special offer managers special
A broken chair
Knuckle dragger unshaven smelly men
With model looking babes how on earth do they get them?
Free passes to the gym if you're fat we''ll make you slim
Bumping into people that you know
Hows uncle Howard and his poorly toe
A glimpse of life on a weekend in town
Don't miss a bargain get on down.
Peter Dome.Copyright.2015.May.
As I go through the store shopping, you go through the store a hopping. At check out~I have one thing, a full cart you bring. Cannot you read, only up to ten things you need. So you think you are very special, you are acting more like the devil.
Date Written: 12/18/2021