The Shopping List

It’s all of three feet long, in order it is not, And then there’s all the other stuff she’s probably forgot, The first thing on the list, it simply just says, ‘beans’, Is that broad beans, baked beans, whatever does she mean? Next is the marmalade, there’s a hundred in the store, And if I get it wrong she’ll say, ‘it’s the one I had before!!’ There goes another ping, it’s the fifth message to date, ‘Don’t forget the milk’ it reads, ‘if you can accommodate?’ Next it is the bread - brown and white and crust, With a helpful little note saying, ‘the thickness I’m not fussed!’ But the note that takes the biscuit states, ‘get something for tea!’ Now is that for the both of us or possibly just me? Course the final item on the list takes me back to the first aisle, It’s another lengthy trip, so far I’ve clocked a mile. I reach the checkout desk and there goes another ping, It says ‘tomato sauce, oxo cubes and a pack of chicken wings.’ The checkout girl senses, my frustration and dismay, By honestly enquiring, if I’m having a good day, But I look at all the stuff she is bleeping at the till And wonder how, with three bags, I’ll ever fit it in! At home comes the inquest of each item I have bought, And all items not listed, I’m well and truly caught! The marmalade is wrong, the butter isn’t light, But think I’ve done quite well as it’s fifty percent right!