Best Jill Poems

Jack and Jill went up the hill
With thoughts of making love
Jack hadn’t got a condom 
So cut a finger off Jill’s glove
The glove was far too small for him
And it didn’t fit his todger
Now they are proud parents
Of a baby they called Rodger!

1st October 2016

Another...

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Jill The Dentist


      There was once a dentist named Jill

      Who thought she was good with a drill

      And found doing a filling

      Really quite...

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Jack and Jill went up the hill
we tell our kids this story all day long
but Jill was bitter and she was savvy
and she went to her lawyer with a sad song.
The lawyer filed in the court
and Jack got the report
That Jill was after his crown.
...

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Did you read about me going up a hill,
that was with Jack not with Bill.
Guess you know my drill,
"Jack and Jill" sure had a big thrill.

My dear friend "Little Jack Horner," 
loved sitting in the corner.
I wanted to be outside but he was a mourner,
he...

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Jack and our Jill 
went up the hill
And there she broke her water.

She laid right down
upon the ground
and bore them both a daughter.

Poor Jack, undone,
had hoped a son; 
their marriage, it was fleeting.

In deep despair,
fell down the stair,
and there his heart stopped beating.

But life goes...

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Endless throngs flocking unto, the theatres.... 
As spending hundreds in millions of dollars upon these 
Fantastical fairy tales ? Creation's tis all well although for truly 
A bit aside her escapism, surely does one's heart as spirit this turn
In good although, I have a much...

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Jack was oh so lean and lanky
Jill was all for hanky panky
But things went amuck
When Jack's zipper stuck
In a pinch, she found him cranky!...

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Jack and Jill were brother and sister, whose environs were hilly and green;
And they groomed horses and worked in gardens, oft 'til a moonlight scene.

They did daily chores on a farm, in the outlying regions of Center Kingdom;
Like collecting eggs and feeding their animals, under...

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

When they came down, Jill magically became a Jack.

Now they could not reproduce a great son nor a daughter!




              ...

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An old gal known to us all as Jill
Who lived in an old house on a hill
Going out for a stroll
Ended up in a roll
With jack at the bottom of the still



Written:  June 2nd, 2014

For Bawdy, Bawdy, Miss Clawdy Contest...

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Once there was a handsome guy called Jack,
wedded a beauty named Jill, dressed in sack.
they went up the hill
to have a night of hell.
Bloody this Jack and Jill song rhymes fake!...

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Jack and Jill scrambled up the hill so sheer,

   To fetch his dipsomaniac pa a pail of beer.

      Alas, Jack stumbled creating a frothy spill.

         Facing his furious pop, he...

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JACK PAINTED A PICTURE 
OF A PURPLE WATERING PAIL 
ON A PLAIN PAINTER’S PANEL
AND PLACED IT ON TOP OF A HILL

AND PUT MY POEM OF A PLANT DEEP INTO IT 
I CALLED IT A COLLAGE CORSAGE
OR WAS IT A MIRAGE MONTAGE

NO MATTER 
JILL WATERED THE...

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Jack and Jill Went to A Dance


Jack and Jill went out to a western dance
Though Jill did think she would prance and prance
what did happen next
Jill did get perplexed
Jack danced on her toes, threw fer-de-lance.


Note: A fer-de-lance is a type of a snake


Written: Dec. 1,...

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Our mountain hollow spilled starlight’s flicker
When Jill said, “Come, follow me boy, quicker.”
Then, Jill promised me a thrill
And led me to someone’s still.
That night's the time she first made me liquor.




...

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