Best Jill Poems
Jack and Jill went up the hill
With thoughts of making love
Jack hadn’t got a condom
So cut a finger off Jill’s glove
The glove was far too small for him
And it didn’t fit his todger
Now they are proud parents
Of a baby they called Rodger!
1st October 2016
Another poem written after being inspired by Ilene Bauer's poem three blind mic
Jill The Dentist
There was once a dentist named Jill
Who thought she was good with a drill
And found doing a filling
Really quite thrilling;
If only her patients stayed still.
06/04/17
Jack and Jill went up the hill
we tell our kids this story all day long
but Jill was bitter and she was savvy
and she went to her lawyer with a sad song.
The lawyer filed in the court
and Jack got the report
That Jill was after his crown.
Did you read about me going up a hill,
that was with Jack not with Bill.
Guess you know my drill,
"Jack and Jill" sure had a big thrill.
My dear friend "Little Jack Horner,"
loved sitting in the corner.
I wanted to be outside but he was a mourner,
he would also read about being a foreigner.
"Jack Be Nimble" was sure quick,
our fun neighbor was never sick.
Pretty candles he did pick,
jumping high over the lit wick.
"Jack Sprat" and his wife,
she carried a big knife.
He had no fat in his life,
she had only lean with strife.
Hope you have enjoyed reading about me,
I am Jill and I want to be set free.
Yes, on that hill I hurt my knee,
that fall made me pee.
Jack and our Jill
went up the hill
And there she broke her water.
She laid right down
upon the ground
and bore them both a daughter.
Poor Jack, undone,
had hoped a son;
their marriage, it was fleeting.
In deep despair,
fell down the stair,
and there his heart stopped beating.
But life goes on,
so Jill wed John;
and they too raised a daughter.
A giant mouse
broke in the house,
ate all their cheese and got her.
Off on a quest,
John was out west
to find work as a double.
You might have guessed,
Jill, sorely pressed,
addressed the rodent trouble.
She tracked him down;
he’d gone to ground
all holed up in his hidey.
With daughter there,
she must take care:
no guns, just nice and tidy.
The mouse was sly,
he near got by
but Jill knew rodents better.
And in a snap,
she set the trap:
herself, all smeared with cheddar.
As rodents come,
he wasn't dumb
but instinct overtook him.
Got on his knees
to smell that cheese;
her big knife arced and hooked him.
The mouse now dead,
her girl in bed,
scanned headlines for a story.
There right up front:
Failed Movie Stunt
the details, rather gory.
While filming Wick,
John goofed his trick,
fell head-long through the rafters.
That third time charm
raised Jill’s alarms,
stayed single ever after.
Endless throngs flocking unto, the theatres....
As spending hundreds in millions of dollars upon these
Fantastical fairy tales ? Creation's tis all well although for truly
A bit aside her escapism, surely does one's heart as spirit this turn
In good although, I have a much more brilliant Truth; far beyound ~
The crystal balls witches warlocks magic wands barbie dolls glittering dust
Intergalactic warfare something and or another makes myself, Smile..
When I consider their jovial journey which encompasses this innocence ?
Be it simple folly these children playing amid, life's meadows chasing time's
Sunset as colourful clouds gather about her skies chimes of church bells resound.
Jack was oh so lean and lanky
Jill was all for hanky panky
But things went amuck
When Jack's zipper stuck
In a pinch, she found him cranky!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
When they came down, Jill magically became a Jack.
Now they could not reproduce a great son nor a daughter!
6/15/2023
An old gal known to us all as Jill
Who lived in an old house on a hill
Going out for a stroll
Ended up in a roll
With jack at the bottom of the still
Written: June 2nd, 2014
For Bawdy, Bawdy, Miss Clawdy Contest
Once there was a handsome guy called Jack,
wedded a beauty named Jill, dressed in sack.
they went up the hill
to have a night of hell.
Bloody this Jack and Jill song rhymes fake!
Jack and Jill scrambled up the hill so sheer,
To fetch his dipsomaniac pa a pail of beer.
Alas, Jack stumbled creating a frothy spill.
Facing his furious pop, he blamed it all on Jill!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
JACK PAINTED A PICTURE
OF A PURPLE WATERING PAIL
ON A PLAIN PAINTER’S PANEL
AND PLACED IT ON TOP OF A HILL
AND PUT MY POEM OF A PLANT DEEP INTO IT
I CALLED IT A COLLAGE CORSAGE
OR WAS IT A MIRAGE MONTAGE
NO MATTER
JILL WATERED THE WORK ON THE HILL
AND IT GREW UP OFF THE PANEL LIKE A PAPER BEAN STALK
INTO A LOVE SONNET TO JILL
I CALLED IT A COLLABORATION
I CALLED IT MIXED MEDIA
I CALLED IT HIGH ART
THE FAME WENT TO THEIR HEADS
JACK TOOK THE FALL HARD
AND JILL JUST TUMBLED DOWN
SLOWLY AFTER HIM AND WROTE A BOOK
Our mountain hollow spilled starlight’s flicker
when Jill said, “Come, follow me boy, quicker.”
Then, Jill promised me a thrill
and led me to someone’s still.
That night's the first time she made me liquor.
Jack and Jill Went to A Dance
Jack and Jill went out to a western dance
Though Jill did think she would prance and prance
what did happen next
Jill did get perplexed
Jack danced on her toes, threw fer-de-lance.
Note: A fer-de-lance is a type of a snake
Written: Dec. 1, 2015
Theresa
Written on October 3, 2010
There once was a lady named Jill
Who laughed and laughed until
She rolled on the floor
Could laugh no more
And soon became very still...
Until a laugh bigger than ever
Arose and lasted forever.
Jill's laugh is never quite done
Because her thoughts are fun
And her smiling mind - very clever.
Gail's note: Inspired by my friend Jill
Part of the Portrait Poetry Collection