Some cowboys remove leather chaps
When cowgirls sit down on their laps
Soon these gals can decide
If he's 'up' for a ride
No 'bucking' now, later perhaps!
A buxom Southern belle from Savannah
did enjoy a Senor from Havana,
but then her lover got sore
and pleaded "No, por favor",
so for now she'll just use a banana.
An oldish codger from Newfoundland
thought to pleasure himself with his hand;
but though he was bent on
achieving a hard-on,
things simply didn't go as he planned!
The old codger, upon circumspection,
knew t'was futile to get an e***tion.
With a dong so flaccid,
limp, flabby and vapid,
he knew he'd need a doctor's inspection.
Known through every heart's
Wild urge and fun side;
Forbids nothing, including
Desire to escape
What Summer, especially
Along its sea coasts
Reveals, laying us half stripped
About its nature
If coarse, is one glad to cure.
Laughing at our shape!
Huge Harry swims in his G string
Its stitches burst, he feels them ping
His gonads are so small
One hand covers them all
His massive dong - it’s left to swing!
A constipated Canuck named Rory
took an atomic suppository.
It exploded his guts
and they soon found his nuts
somewhere in the Yukon Territory!
Is todger envy a phallus see???… (I‘m just asking for a wee friend !!)
Shy Henry is hung like a horse
The ladies love him of course
Little did they know
He prefers a beau
Day late and a dollar short
witch who rides rooster lived up to her name
in our hamlet she was a crone who had a bit of fame
the rooster named Oscar was a jokester for sure
he told the best stories, some were bawdy, impure
witch who rides rooster never knew about his talk
she did not speak beak language, she thought he only could squawk
but we peahens and white hens and hens of another mother
knew his jokes were blue, and often off-color.
A giggle escaped from the shelf
as Santa was tossing himself,
his face very red,
'I'm coming,' he said
and smirking, he shot on the elf.
Smug Santa unloaded his sack
As Mrs Claus lay on her back
Hear her whoop, hear her cheer
Santa comes once a year
Cos nookie nights they sadly lack!
There lives a gentleman from Luff
Who walks everywhere in the buff
His weeny is teeny
He calls it his winky
A stump that can't fill a cream puff.
Ladies would be left in despair
But he didn't really care
He got what he wanted
Frustrated, they taunted
And decided give him a scare.
They tied him to an 'lectric chair
Placed electrodes on you know where
They pulled down on the switch
His stump started to twitch
It stood bright like a giant flare
You'd think he would very happy
Making a stump long and snazzy
The women were smiling
The man was now crying
Wink shrivelled, weirdly and badly
From that day he always wore clothes
With women he instantly froze
He's fearful of leccy
Winky is now Becky
And parades in yearly freak shows.
25.07.25
My auntie, who was on vacation
Was lusting for fast fornication
She met a well-hung guy
But her foo-foo’s too dry
She blurted, “It needs lubrication!”
The fella, whose first name was Dick
Said, “Stay put. I’ll be back real quick
I’ll purchase sticky Jell-O
‘Twill turn your foof bright yellow
But ensures my entry is slick!"
The Jell-O lube worked really well
Dick satisfied my Auntie Mel
Next time she needs some lube
She’ll melt a Jell-O cube
Aunt’s shagged out. I think you can tell!
THeir plan - in each oriface pour
some Vaseline, KY and more...
with rings of the bell
they both had to yell,
"Too greasy to open the door."
Hot Bikini
Suzy bought a new bikini for Joe
But the price she paid, he wouldn't want to know
A sexy sheer suit,
expensive, but cute
She's hoping it soon makes his hot blood flow!
Jaw dropping
Martha liked to tan topless at the beach
Soon her phone was ringing and out of reach
She stood up to her dismay,
her rack was now on display
A man's dentures dropped, as she heard a screech!
A Sudden Boost
Dan was ready for a hot summer night
With his new date, wanted to make it right
He took three blue pills,
hoping for some thrills
But with the quick boost he couldn't stand upright!
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