Long Bawdy Poems

They were gambling in front of the house.
Manservants and pages bustled about
Serving Suitors who just curse and carouse.
Few mix wine with water. I heard one shout,
"Clean down the tables with wet sponges! Rouse
Yourselves! And when...

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Limericks II - Nature Poems and Animal Poems

Dot Spotted
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a leopardess, Dot,
who indignantly answered: "I’ll not!
The gents are impressed
with the way that I’m dressed.
I wouldn’t change even one spot!"



Clyde Lied!
by...

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Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

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COME ON SOUPER'S LETS HAVE SOME FUN AND MAKE FOLK SMILE DURING SUCH DIFFICULT TIMES FOR US ALL. THERE ARE LOTS MORE APT NAMES  - PLEASE SOUP MAIL POEMS AND I WILL ADD THEM...

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"Bits and Pieces III"      Posted 1 Aug 2021
Pun Ishment
	bread is like the sun      it rises in the yeast and it sets in the waist

English Class
	epitome...

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Folk purchase this celeb’s new candle
 It’s something my brain cannot handle
 ‘Smells like my v’gina’ 
Could give folk angina
 This fragrance has caused quite a scandal 

Inspired by a comment from a fancy friend...

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[Arrhhh… this be a rewrite of a yarn I told, which truly wasn’t tawdry
alas, I can but wonder if some thought it would be bawdy.
The ‘Neptune’s Daughter’ was a fiction, No inuendo there 
She’s now...

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This is not for any contest especially since I like better versions than the one sung by Glenn Hughes which is not much to my liking.  Furthermore, this is more in the region of...

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The new sheriff of Poetry Soup
 Rode into town on a horse named Snoop
 Jan was on his wanted list
 And the gang she did enlist
 In writing lim'ricks about poop
   He found...

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A Tribute to Jan Allison, I miss her on PS!


There's a sweet woman I know as Jan,
a valued member of the soup clan.
Her limericks are the best,
Poop humor above the rest!
Her long absence has been...

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...Harold was gob-smacked by all that he heard,
he struggle hard to find something to say,
his grandfather smirked, and then clear his throat,
“Now your grandma I didn’t meet that way.

“I first learned of her from your...

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Barking dogs echo beyond the doors of the pitch black night.Mysteries of the anxious dark buried deep in the heart of villains playing rock and roll at the poker table, coughing and spitting, feasting and...

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The little pygmy named Pixie Poggly was quirky queenly quaintly and quickly, but rarely ever really did much can't you see.

Until one day, a raunchy rascal quaintly and shrewdly, Skinny and slippery that he was,...

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"The Mallard" and other Animal Limericks

The Mallard
by Michael R. Burch

The mallard is a fellow
whose lips are long and yellow
with which he, honking, kisses
his bawdy, boisterous mistress;
my pond's their loud bordello!



On the Horns of a Dilemma...

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A nubile young vicar named Jude
Was seen swimming, totally nude
The bishop said WOW
Just look at you now
Your assets - they need to be viewed!

Fiction write!

07-05-17

Invited him home for a drink
A toast as their glasses did...

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In a vehicle, once more this month. Though not going as far as the palm trees, my stomach’s lurching left and right. The baby’s alright! He coos from time to time as we weave through...

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Byword People (Came By Way)



Pitch black was the day after
the nightmare before
When the blue wails
washed upon the sunset shore
Dark journey’s end for the castoff children,
who were unspoken for

Idol eyes resting carelessly,
got sin windswept upon a...

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Birdie’s Bar
August 19, 2008

To the old Plymouth
Mom came to salvage her brood
We’d hear the crunch of gravel beneath her feet
She dragged us three sleepy eyed girls
Sullen
Curious 
Non-entities
We took our mealy mouths up and followed her
Out...

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For those who don't read blogs or know of Jan's successful first book, I've written a limerick for her and included it in my comment on her blog. She's included her interview in a podcast....

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Aunt Ethel said to Uncle Fred,
Let’s attempt the starfish in bed,
Old Ethel insisted,
Till Fred’s back got twisted,
They best stick to sleeping instead!

Original poem by Jan Allison

Fred couldn't stand and was writhing in pain
Ethel was mad...

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One evening Bob nervously said
I kinda like three in a bed
She said I’ve got friends
And each of them tends
To share the desires in your head

The next night as had been arranged
His ankles and hands were...

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(There's a thirteenth 'zodiacal' constellation, Ophiucus, The Serpent Wrestler/Holder, or the "Twelth Symbol," as here used. In some ancient cultures, serpents were revered as feminine symbols of rebirth/healing, and bees as symbols of wisdom, while...

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Standing at the tavern door,eyes dark and brooding
Neath his floppy hat, stared into the crowded room,
A Raven flew from his shoulder settling in rafters high,
He smiled a sardonic smile and ordered a mug of ale.
All...

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Legend of Fosse Way

Riding hard under a moonlight high 
not a leaf rustling and it troubles my mind
In the distance there's music of the lyre and flute 
rippling over the moors
Serenading the stars  
The...

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