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X Rated - bawdy

With my girlfriend in tip top condition To film sex scenes for late television She got sick in bed So I went instead And was heckled with spiteful derision Well their laughter had made me feel silly As I stood there butt naked and chilly They said, “Get a hair dryer, Or an electric fire, For you sure need to warm up that willy.” The director called three naked geezers Who he said were real audience pleasers Then he looked at my lot And said, “Let’s get this shot, With my new close up lens… and some tweezers.” Grabbed a sock and ran home in the nuddy And I tripped in a field, wet and cruddy But I’d slipped on the sock So my girl got a shock When just one bit of me wasn’t muddy * That’s my self respect gone for a burton… Then the morning sun shone through my curtain I awoke in my bed “Only dreaming,” I said But I took a quick peek to be certain

Copyright © | Year Posted 2025




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Date: 2/18/2025 8:41:00 PM
Very entertaining, Terry. Still waiting for the bawdy part, however. Oh, well.
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Terry Flood
Date: 2/20/2025 4:13:00 PM
I didn’t think it was that bawdy either, GW. But I didn’t want to upset anyone’s sensibilities. ;-)
Date: 2/18/2025 11:02:00 AM
Your humour always makes me smile Terry…enjoyed your wit as per usual! Debx
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Terry Flood
Date: 2/20/2025 4:21:00 PM
Thanks, Deb. I only intended to write the first verse…. But once I got in the swing……… now, now, Deb, that’s just plain rude ;-)
Date: 2/18/2025 12:46:00 AM
Thank goodness we wake up to some dreams and can take a huge sigh of relief that is is after all, just a dream, nothing is true. LOL, LOL, hugs blessings, Jennifer
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Terry Flood
Date: 2/20/2025 4:19:00 PM
Thanks, Jennifer. actually, I rarely remember my dreams…. I sure as hell don’t remember that one!
Date: 2/16/2025 11:45:00 AM
So you woke to a (morning glory) what’s the story lol! A cracking series of Limericks Terry, each one better than the next, back to your best for sure, brilliant! Cheers David
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Terry Flood
Date: 2/20/2025 4:17:00 PM
Thanks, David. I’m guessing you meant ‘each one better than the one before’… otherwise you told me that it got worse the more you read… and that’s against Soup’s ‘be nice’ policy. ;-) Fear not, you saved the day with ‘brilliant’. Terry
Date: 2/15/2025 4:26:00 AM
This is a corker Terry , what a relief to find the crown jewels intact lol. Tom
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Terry Flood
Date: 2/20/2025 4:14:00 PM
Ha ha! Glad you enjoyed, Tom
Date: 2/13/2025 4:56:00 PM
lol Terry. I love the way you didn't even bother to title these Limericks. Why, when what you've used works just fine. You and Jan should team up on some of these bawdy writes. After editing both of her books I can see you both have the same risqué' sense of humor.
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Terry Flood
Date: 2/15/2025 7:33:00 AM
I must confess that, although I enjoy writing limericks, this particular bunch was a bid to smash my current block to oblivion. I can feel it there, lurking, waiting to stop everything I write in its tracks. I’d love to get back to the situation where I’ve got so many ideas on the go that I can barely decide which to work on first. Anyway, I’m glad you enjoyed this effort, Lin. Thinking caps on……