Christmas Nibbles - bawdy

There must be a way to enjoy Christmas Day But not fill my belly with food Most years I eat till I’m fit to explode But this year I’m not in the mood My wife said she thought I might like a hot sausage Which sounded a little bit rude She said, “Just try this, it’s so warm and inviting.” I said, “Now you’re just being crude.” Impatiently huffing, she suggested stuffing It seems that my wife is quite lewd She asked if I fancied some leg or some breast I kept schtum, which I thought might be shrewd I gave in and asked for a nice fruity tart…” And she yelled, “To what do you allude?” I said, like a chump, “Okay, give me some rump.” And frankly, I knew I was screwed!