Witticisms Poems | Examples

List of Member Poems

Yabba Dabba Doo at the Gabba


Our Nordic God run roughshod by the cynics

Mimics all those skeptics & pundits in pulpits

Sod odd bod critics clinics their unfair optics

Hysterics but Bazball clerics are not yet relics 

Despite batting lapse alright collapse specifics

The insult not horrific result of cult’s gimmicks

Got it wrong will still sing same mesmeric song lyrics


Twits witticisms & criticisms taken a toll…troll gits

Shaken has Bazball forsaken its soul..drole misfits

No more stealth or self control just abysmal skits

Dismal death roll rigmarole gambits whole Bazball in bits?

On the dole or run rate wealth in rude health call it quits

Flits their way to play their flair hits as prole media spits 

Grandstand Baz Ben stable fable big band brand label fits 

Aussies canned.. gawking Larrikin ti*s balking..its the pits


Goal corking victory at the Gabba hoodoo fortress venue

Folks blabber talking of Stokes blokes stalking voodoo

Oz jibber jabber fibber distress as we made history..phew 

Yes JuJu mystery temptress played express Yabba Dabba Doo!

Premium Member he considers himself witty

if he was half as witty as he thought
he would be making millions of dollars as a comic
he thinks he is a professional wisecracker
a train of witticisms travels out of his mouth
hitting anyone and everyone in the eye
quips, gags, jokes and jest are his daily tools
his relatives have tired of most of them already

Premium Member Willy the Wisecrackig Warlock

Willy the wisecracking warlock
was wordy, wild, wonderfully willfully
welcoming, and a wee bit whacky.
Willy widely wasted wonderful witticisms
on Wellington’s willing wealthy.


Premium Member If you asked I would tell you of my secrets

If you asked I would tell you of my secrets
Soft furry things that comfort weary souls
Harsh thorns rebuffing prying doubts
Stoic sentries peering through stone eyes
Cold lips that scorn the warmth of love
Soft thoughts that dare not venture far
Whispered witticisms wielded as a sword
Secrets locked within the edge of tears unshed
Languishing in the loneliness of now
Fearful of the shadows of a distant then
Unable to admit they have but one longing
And that – to shout my secrets to the wind

John G. Lawless
©3/29/24

Premium Member Witticisms In Moonlight

witticisms in moonlight 
love’s mattress rumbling with laughs
this couple’s bellies hurting
we go overboard

Premium Member Birthday Rebirth

Reborn here now without baggage.
Every year, as I'm delighted. 
From friends and forebears as adage.
Roaring new birthday, beloved.

Most pals are cheerful and friendly.
Reborn here now without baggage.
Smile, share witticisms with glory. 
As though it were priceless dunnage.

Life goes, and far work to manage.
Thought process is appropriate.
Reborn here now without baggage.
Destroy all hope of early shut.

Written word can grant extra spice.
There's still stacks for us to engage.
A new zeal and desire for thrice.
Reborn here now without baggage.

Written: October 12, 2021

Dawn Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Unseeking Seeker


Premium Member Keeping Her Head

Great Scot delusions of grandeur!
The merry queen with her rosary,
her entourage, ooh la la funereal
shroud and veil; her head bound high.

There’s that sparkle in her eyes,
witticisms, critiques; she’s not meek.
The English parade won’t wrangle her.
She’s Mary Queen of freaking Scots.

Would they? Could they? -silence her lips.
She’s moistened the utmost in utterance.
Tongue laced in French, Latin and bitter English -
that pretty queen squeezed her hands for them.

Her lips in prayer, witnesses wrote,
as her head rolled like a football after
three chops. They found her hair gray-
a wig she wore; fair Mary of Scots.

8/27/2021

Premium Member Remembering the Phant

There's more than just size to the elephant,
they do do some things that the others can't.
Many stories show these acts as valiant;
in the wild, grand gestures seem elegant.
Their wisdom is "ear-ily" evident,
nothing too pithy or given to rant -
like wry witticisms from Oscar Levant.
Or, Ogden Nash whose stanzas are extant,
not the rhymes of some silly sycophant.
Pachyderms make empathy "rel-e-phant"!

Premium Member Oh Ogden, Our Ogden

Will one write an Ogden Nash?
A touch o' wink, bit a blink
And then, add a glint o' guile...
Doing all, with wryest smile.

Or could it come out "Mish-Nashed"?
Since Nash, he himself, had mashed
His isms into witticisms
Leaving most in a mad dash -







Tribute, 8 Line, Light Verse, 48 Words, To Ogden Nash
Noted American Poet 1902 - 1971

Premium Member Witticisms

Witticisms
By: Tom 
1-19-2008

If a man tell an untruth today in jest,
And straightens it up on the morrow,
Does it yet remain a lie?

The witness that I show to another,
Either empowers positive change or reinforces a negative attitude.

 I don’t have all the answers I need in life,
Just the man who does!

If the road you travel had no chug holes,
How often would you give God a thought?

All feel,
That having love for their fellow man is a good thing,
Some feel especially if that man can be of help.

I never fully learned the value of money 
Until I discovered my life could be rich with or without it.  
Wealth controls me, or I control it.

The greatest thing man can ever accomplish,
Is to plant the seed that leads another to know the Lord;

It is hard to comprehend that when we get forgiveness
God remembers our past transgressions no more.
They’re removed as far as the east is from the west.
God forgives and forgets, while carnal man forgives but remembers.

Tom Wright
1-19-2008

Premium Member Watch Out For Wonderful Witticisms

A wonderful witticism, wittily said,
Can often fly past a non-thinker’s head.
Sometimes they are angry, a bit like a barb.
If that is the truth, wearing Saturday garb,

You might want to keep them only for special times
To use in silly songs or whimsical rhymes.
Wonderful witticisms, can make you feel great
Until they hurt feelings, which is often their fate.

For when this happens, it might give you pause.
Bringing you grief when it reaches Santa Claus.
So be careful my lovely, when you draw out a thought.
If it might hurt others, you should probably not.

Premium Member Rattling Washington's Cage

President Trump has rattled Washington's cage
  with an unlikely combination of technology and rage
He's twittered and texted sharp barbs, targeted criticism
  at oversensitive pols, used to kow-towing and witticisms

He's shaken up the stuffed shirts of the established order
  by trying to stop criminal aliens with a wall at the border
He's gone toe-to-toe with the demagogues of Russia and China 
  unlike his predecessors, who've caved in to the Soviet-Sinos

And he's raised a crucial issue, from which productive discussion has strayed:
  If our government won't protect its citizenry, why should its workers get paid?


             February 13, 2019
 Entry in "A Positive President Trump" Contest
          Sponsor: Anthony Slausin

Premium Member Halloween Tricksters

Kids nowadays don't know the fine art of staging Halloween tricks,
(Though they are very adept at fleecing me for candy to get their kicks!)
Tricks we did as kids would no doubt today land us in the slammer,
Causing outrage and rancor by folks for our hides with great clamor!

Obviously, we didn't hang around to collect a tasty treat,
But did our dastardly deeds and made a very hasty retreat!
A favorite prank was upsetting outhouses and the havoc that created,
Causing the hapless owners angst and leaving them somewhat agitated!

Another silly trick that raised a stink that we did with great dispatch,
Was to place a bag of manure on the porch and light it with a match.
We'd knock on the door, then run like a bat outta you know where,
Watching the guy stomp out the fire and you shoulda heard him swear!

The tamest thing we did was to soap window panes with a bar of soap,
Leaving naughty witticisms for which the occupants had to cope!
In the autumn of my years I reflect on the Halloweens of my youth,
And wonder why my pals and I acted so buffoonish and uncouth!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired

Tell Me Everything

A misanthrope yet addicted
To your praise
Inclined to enslave
And beckon come and see
We can trade witticisms
Or discuss the front page
You can confide every fetish
I promise I'll behave

Even if it's 50 Shades
I'll conceal every page
Of our correspondence
And when I call
You're only talking to me

Tell the Devil everything

We can mourn our loses
Spit on the crosses
I'm your friend on standby
Forget the rest of this horseshit
I'll visit while you sleep
In the morning
You'll want to be branded by me

I'm an entity to be reckoned with
You should be scared
But instead you're soaking wet
Your submission fuels me
But your promises don't fool me
I know one day
You'll disappear and leave me lonely

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His Poetic Din

all the intellectualosity gathered
to hear the well-versed Buddha
part with a few simple sonnets
and some wry observations on sheep 
and pulling the wool over eyes

not a huge media event, to be sure
but enough for a literary lynching
should natives lust get out of hand
tree branches are far from the room
perhaps a chair would do, inna pinch

two well-upolstered ruby-red chairs, 
perhaps some hemp coiled up behind
should somebody need be strung along
sitting, he slowly, evenly begins his
plain Buddha enlightenment for us 

we're enraptured, enamored, enthralled
and utterly delighted at the wisdom
and witticisms, savoring every phrase
quietly chuckling where necessary and
enthusiastically applauding his humanity

© Goode Guy 2011-10-20

for my favorite poet, Billy Collins
http://www.odu.edu/ao/univevents/pls/

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