Best Witticisms Poems
Will one write an Ogden Nash?
A touch o' wink, bit a blink
And then, add a glint o' guile...
Doing all, with wryest smile.
Or could it come out "Mish-Nashed"?
Since Nash, he himself, had mashed
His isms into witticisms
Leaving most in a mad dash -
Tribute, 8 Line, Light Verse, 48 Words, To Ogden Nash
Noted American Poet 1902 - 1971
‘ He’s Company ! … ’
He’s Not Down With Misery
and Not Out with The In(flated)-Crowds
But He’s Up On Lady Liberty …
Laughing, New York-Minute, Out Loud !
‘Cause … if Misery, Loves Company …
Company, Sure Don’t Love Misery !
Company … is Taking Care of Business
Strictly, Take into Account, Swiftness
… and Staying Out The Red
Things, Misery Cut and Bled
All Over His Spread-Sheets
Which, He Washed and Hung On Wall Street
Now… Here’s Her Penny for Your Thoughts Again …
Saying, ‘Get Me Out of This Rain-Check, Claim !
Man … She’s A Bottom-Line – Pain !
Boy, Throw Her Some Chunk-Change …
His Blank Check, is What Misery’s After
But, Company is The Man, and ‘ The Manager ‘
He’s Telling Misery, with Interest …
‘ … Girl, Stay Outta’ My Business !
… and I May Pay Misery A Visit …
‘Cause I’m Lady Liberty … Unlimited !
I’m Platinum, and I Got My Hand Up …
‘ Don’t Make Me Put It Down and Whip Your, You Know What !
‘Cause Company … Gets The Job Done !
Show Them How It’s Done … Hon !
Look … You Know You Got Lady Liberty
( and, I’m gonna Keep This Fortune 500 Company )
For: Jimbo (James Marshall Goff)
Business, Strictly Business (smile)
Because You Seem to Get
and Like, my Kooky, Double-Talking
Witticisms (Enjoy Between Your Classes)
and Keep That Education Coming
MoonBee
Softly dimmed flecks of green within eyes of ocean blue
Shining deep within a black hole of darkness, a soul light and true
Creases of age and time traced by the teardrops of pain once cried
High cheekbones slim and trim, bold with nothing to hide
Highlighted with strawberry blonde eyelashes and eyebrows to match
A freckle near the nose on the left cheek, a lucky woman’s catch
Wrinkles of wisdom, maturity, strength and solace
Sexy dimples just waiting to be noticed
Piercings on the eyebrows, the lip, nose, and tongue
Can not forget the bray, can’t leave out that one
A nose that enhances his Cherokee traits
All the gentility and passion of his mother’s grace
Lips of strawberry pink and words of charm roll off the tongue
Whispers of love, peace and humor shared with everyone
A mouth that speaks adventure and of natures true light
Sharing witticisms and enchantment throughout the night
A man about family in loving them he takes pride
But above all this he’s a man of Spirit inside
Copyright © 2009 Lena “Lolita” Townsend
I want to live in a world
Where people with substance abuse problems
can walk hand in hand with a community of friends
Because addictions as we know it is harder to fight through then it was for frodo in the Lord
of the rings
I want to live in a world where
Poverty and homelessness is in our realm of political focal lens
Because the way I see it
Poets are street reporters
and Misery is the sheets that blankets
the poor.
Our pens are our megaphones
Social Injustices have continually been silenced
The news focuses on Angelina's Newest Babies
Or whether Tiger woods was guilty of infedility
and My god..... How distracted we become like
horses with side blinders
so mindlessly flipping through our
television sets
which in essence are portals where the doldrums of our brain cells come to hibernate
and we forget about our abilities to cause a commotion
Inspire with our thoughts
Our crazy, beautiful, wonderful, abstract, unique, witticisms that can set off a movement like
a thousand beautiful rainbow dominoes.
Falling to the floor in a ballet of tumultuous delight because
Change... change can simply erupt overnight
There's more than just size to the elephant,
they do do some things that the others can't.
Many stories show these acts as valiant;
in the wild, grand gestures seem elegant.
Their wisdom is "ear-ily" evident,
nothing too pithy or given to rant -
like wry witticisms from Oscar Levant.
Or, Ogden Nash whose stanzas are extant,
not the rhymes of some silly sycophant.
Pachyderms make empathy "rel-e-phant"!
Kids nowadays don't know the fine art of staging Halloween tricks,
(Though they are very adept at fleecing me for candy to get their kicks!)
Tricks we did as kids would no doubt today land us in the slammer,
Causing outrage and rancor by folks for our hides with great clamor!
Obviously, we didn't hang around to collect a tasty treat,
But did our dastardly deeds and made a very hasty retreat!
A favorite prank was upsetting outhouses and the havoc that created,
Causing the hapless owners angst and leaving them somewhat agitated!
Another silly trick that raised a stink that we did with great dispatch,
Was to place a bag of manure on the porch and light it with a match.
We'd knock on the door, then run like a bat outta you know where,
Watching the guy stomp out the fire and you shoulda heard him swear!
The tamest thing we did was to soap window panes with a bar of soap,
Leaving naughty witticisms for which the occupants had to cope!
In the autumn of my years I reflect on the Halloweens of my youth,
And wonder why my pals and I acted so buffoonish and uncouth!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
A misanthrope yet addicted
To your praise
Inclined to enslave
And beckon come and see
We can trade witticisms
Or discuss the front page
You can confide every fetish
I promise I'll behave
Even if it's 50 Shades
I'll conceal every page
Of our correspondence
And when I call
You're only talking to me
Tell the Devil everything
We can mourn our loses
Spit on the crosses
I'm your friend on standby
Forget the rest of this horseshit
I'll visit while you sleep
In the morning
You'll want to be branded by me
I'm an entity to be reckoned with
You should be scared
But instead you're soaking wet
Your submission fuels me
But your promises don't fool me
I know one day
You'll disappear and leave me lonely
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We grew up with aphorisms--
Pithy, witty observations;
Some may only be sophisms
That were passed through generations.
Old but not anachronisms,
They’re still true in many nations.
They have kept their witticisms
And established strong foundations.
As I’m fond of verbalisms,
I have made some alterations,
I call them malaphorisms,
Please take them without vexations:
1. A bird in the hand is worth … the same in the other hand.
2. Birds of the same feather … belong to the same species.
3. Do not put off for tomorrow what you can … put off for the day after tomorrow.
4. Two heads are better than … none.
5. If there’s a will, there’s a … future tense.
6. Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell …. them who you are.
7. A tree is known by its fruit … unless you don’t know the fruit, either.
8. The grass is always greener on the other side … where the dog’s pee doesn’t reach.
9. A picture is worth a thousand … dollars, or, it depends on the artist.
10. Better late than … later.
11. All work and no play makes Jack …, or anyone, exhausted.
12. Fools rush in where … there is no need to rush.
13. If others can, … let them do it.
14. One man’s meat is … not enough for two.
15. Time and tide … start with t- and end with -e.
November 6, 2024
Baguio City, Philippines
Reborn here now without baggage.
Every year, as I'm delighted.
From friends and forebears as adage.
Roaring new birthday, beloved.
Most pals are cheerful and friendly.
Reborn here now without baggage.
Smile, share witticisms with glory.
As though it were priceless dunnage.
Life goes, and far work to manage.
Thought process is appropriate.
Reborn here now without baggage.
Destroy all hope of early shut.
Written word can grant extra spice.
There's still stacks for us to engage.
A new zeal and desire for thrice.
Reborn here now without baggage.
Written: October 12, 2021
Dawn Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Unseeking Seeker
WHOOF!
We are not all chasing our tails in the very same way
We are not all praying for the same thing every day
We are all just hopeful that he or she will come along
And we will find the embrace in which we belong
She’s chasing her tail with cockiness and guile
He’s using his witticisms and cogent smile
Other people use some subliminal style
While that one over there uses her tail to defile
There are people chasing their tails all around
And it’s discouraging not being aware to where you are bound
So we spin in circles getting to a place called “nowhere” with speed
All trying to get the satisfaction from someone else to fill our need
Our needs are invisible inside us but you can still see our tails
And some even resort to lies and deception when all else fails
As for me I’ve stopped chasing my tail and now simply chase peace
and if you ask me the cyber-deception should be sequestered and cease
(c) 2011....~free cee!~
If you asked I would tell you of my secrets
Soft furry things that comfort weary souls
Harsh thorns rebuffing prying doubts
Stoic sentries peering through stone eyes
Cold lips that scorn the warmth of love
Soft thoughts that dare not venture far
Whispered witticisms wielded as a sword
Secrets locked within the edge of tears unshed
Languishing in the loneliness of now
Fearful of the shadows of a distant then
Unable to admit they have but one longing
And that – to shout my secrets to the wind
John G. Lawless
©3/29/24
A TOWN CALLED “GENTLE”
a soft still stream hides behind a small hill
in my hometown
it's near where the highway ends
and where flowers bloom all year long
in a town of three thousand
there's a crooked road which leads to town hall
where people trade witticisms
children laugh and it echoes through the hills
and the scenery always soothes
a gazebo sits, painted pink and white
in the center of a town of three thousand
oftentimes two lovers sits huddled in the gazebo
talking of the future, babies and love
lovers smile, in cherished gratitude for meeting each other
and lips meet in a warm and wondrous way
the trees are all at least three hundred years old
or so i've been told
right in the center of a town of three thousand
cool breezes in the summer are tranquil and easy
while tulips stand tall, proud and erect
roses grow redder then anywhere else on earth
and gardens are abundant with beauty and buds
I wouldn't live anywhere else but here in my hometown
a gentle town that God's finger anointed
and appointed it the most wondrous town to live in
where there is no sin
but there is sadness
because my lover left and said it was over and done
so now the town of three thousand is minus one
© 2012.....copyright PHREEPOETREE ~free cee!~
WHOOF!
We are not all chasing our tails in the very same way
We are not all praying for the same thing every day
We are all just hopeful that he or she will come along
And we will find the embrace in which we belong
She’s chasing her tail with cockiness and guile
He’s using his witticisms and cogent smile
Other people use some subliminal style
While that one over there uses her tail to defile
There are people chasing their tails all around
And it’s discouraging not being aware to where you are bound
So we spin in circles getting to a place called “nowhere” with speed
All trying to get the satisfaction from someone else to fill our need
Our needs are invisible inside us but you can still see our tails
And some even resort to lies and deception when all else fails
As for me I’ve stopped chasing my tail and now simply chase peace
and if you ask me the cyber-deception should be sequestered and cease
(c) 2011....~free cee!~ Phrepoetree
A wonderful witticism, wittily said,
Can often fly past a non-thinker’s head.
Sometimes they are angry, a bit like a barb.
If that is the truth, wearing Saturday garb,
You might want to keep them only for special times
To use in silly songs or whimsical rhymes.
Wonderful witticisms, can make you feel great
Until they hurt feelings, which is often their fate.
For when this happens, it might give you pause.
Bringing you grief when it reaches Santa Claus.
So be careful my lovely, when you draw out a thought.
If it might hurt others, you should probably not.
witticisms in moonlight
love’s mattress rumbling with laughs
this couple’s bellies hurting
we go overboard