Invasion of the Bums & Scarecrow-Soldiers & Pretty Ballerina’s
By David J Walker
What are you gonna be
I donno
Maybe a soldier or a bum again or a Martian
My sister wants to be a ballerina
But its way too cold for that
The most memorable year was when my mom turned me into
the tallest paper mâché octopus
Every seen
in a 3rd grade class.
The Halloween parade would begin at 10 on the school stage that hosted
the most ghosts & goblins
bums and ballerinas
and store-bought Cops & Cinderella’s
soldiers and white-as-a-sheet spooks with big cutout eyes
& bums with bones
black magically coming out of nowhere
After dinner & Its the Great Pumpkin Charley Brown
We are out terrorizing the town
Winter coats covering our prized costumes
Timidly
Begging for candy
Until our big brown bags could hold no more
Sorting
Chocolate with chocolate
Suckers with suckers
Candy bars of all kinds
Candy lips & candied apples
Candy cigarettes & Popcorn balls
The next morning
Moan/Groaning
But still
can’t wait for school to start &
The retelling of the last nights Halloween Haul &
Haunted adventure
Some Pythons grow as long as 23 feet
Enough to wrap around 6 people in a Jeep
Panic if you see one
Bloody well run
Gasping for air will leave you white as a sheet
My life flashed before my eyes as I sat in the driver’s seat
I clung to the wheel for dear life
my face was as white as a sheet
Would this brave man named Dale
live to tell the tale?
Had he written out a will
Drafted Out in great detail ?
I was petrified you see
But he had confidence in me
His fantastic sense of humour
Acted as a diffuser
He calmly talked me through it
With the patience of a saint
How he coped I’ll never know
As Michael Schumacher I ain’t!
He had a scientific brain
And as we drove he would explain
Tell me random facts and stories
As we ventured through welsh lanes
Now I really can’t deny
That one manoeuvre made me cry
But with his tolerance and charm
My frustration he did disarm
When I finally passed my test
His relief was well expressed
He turned my life around
Now freedom I have found
Favourite Teacher or Professor contest
Sponsored by Chantelle Anne Cooke
20th October 2019
Inspired by Joseph Mays limerick contest.
(not for contest )
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A mischievous chef known as McMurray
For a joke put Epsom salts in the curry
The toilet door he did lock
The customers were in shock
He left by the back door in a great hurry.
An astronomer by the name of Pete
Was perving at the lady cross the street
Full moon he did spy
But not in the sky
He got caught and went as white as a sheet.
There was a dodgy plumber called John Blake
No plumbing skills was a bit of a fake
The wrong nut he undone
Panicked went on the run
Now downstairs of the house has its own lake.
A randy teacher called Fred O'Hare
With a young girl he had an affair
But she told her dad
Who went hopping mad
Now Fred is getting medical care .
There was a very weird poet from Bude
Loved to sit out writing verse in the nude
A wasp stung his manhood
Screamed out as you would
Doc said that's what you get for being rude .
Some Pythons grow as long as 23 feet
Enough to wrap around 6 people in a Jeep
Panic if you see one
Bloody well run
Gasping for air will leave you white as a sheet
I went out to trick or treat
wearing fake bloodstained hands and feet
Soon I began to get prickly heat
So I jettisoned them in the street
The finder went as white as a sheet
Then dropped dead with no heartbeat
Now I’m feeling like dead meat
How could I be so indiscreet!
Boo Monorhyme Contest
Sponsored by Alexis Y
09-10-17
A hurt swan
is on the street
A hurt swan
without its fleet
A hurt swan
White, as a sheet of paper
Innocent and beautiful
He's not alone
He's being protected
As love cares
about all it's beings
Love cares
Love's all seeing
Love's all caring
Love's all holding
Love's all bonding
Love's everywhere unfolding
Trust in love
Believe in love
Believe that someone's taking care
From high above
Pop,Pop,Pop a bullet to his head,25 bullets before they pronounced him dead, blood flow n in the streets with they foot prints they engraved in the concrete, Mother's crying as more is dying, souls is aching because of all the Black lives they are taking,skittles,books,wallets n hands n the air even a wheel chair they scared because of the color of their black skin so they aim not to just shoot but to kill like they lives don't matter n like they want be missed but just swept under the rug, because they say he was on drugs but was that the case or his race, Yeah his Black life mattered,murder was n the case because it was a cop face,white as a sheet n had KKK written all over it, the Jude said the gloves don't fit so they get off with another hit after hit but the world not seeing it as it is that they just killed another Black kid.Picture they faces, remember their names, light a candle becaus Black Lives Matter~written by ya one n only MBA(c)
I'd stopped to have a rest on our morning jungle trek
and had leaned against a liana covered tree
in this land I was a stranger and I didn't see the danger
that was lurking just a foot away from me.
With the pinpoint lightning strike like a fencer's foil might
it attacked, then a hiss, and it was gone
it's fast acting Dendrotoxin knocked me out like I'd been boxing
but thank God I had my guide to call upon.
The doctor checked my throat and got out some antidotes
though he didn't know what species had attacked,
but my guide had took a shot, and the photo he had got
would be proof enough to back up all the facts.
The doctor took a look and consulted in a book
after leafing through the pages he declared
“ You're lucky to be here, it's a species to be feared
and if it had been me, I'd have been scared”.
I went white as a sheet, he said “ it's length is fourteen feet
coal black eyes, scales lime green, belly of amber,
but the crown on it's head confirms to me without a doubt
you've been bitten by a lifetime premium Mamba.”
Buzzing in my ears
I've got to get out of here
In a cold sweat
It's away from these people I have to get
I can't just bolt, they would wonder why
Now I can't see, I'm going to die
I can't breathe, I can't hear
Are you alright ? Faces appear
I've collapsed to the ground
Faces talking, making sounds
Im moaning from the pain of the fear
Men from an ambulance appear
I'm white as a sheet
The writhing is starting to cease
cold, clammy hot and moist
I'm very tired but I can use my voice
I've just returned from edge of hell
How long it went on I cannot tell
I don't what happened I was just very sick
I needed lie down on these cool bricks
Another place I can't ever come back
Never back to the place of a panic attack
Percy pig was feeling quite shaken -
He'd heard pigs were slaughtered for bacon
Turning white as a sheet
He then started to bleat
As a sheep could he be mistaken!
Entered into 101 in a row contests ~14
sponsored by PD Linda:-)
17th June 2016
Awakened from sleep by a loud, jarring rumble
Shaken, confused, as the earth moved beneath
As I leapt from my bed, I stumbled and tumbled
And so frightened and numb, I was white as a sheet
While the clash and the clatter of everything crumbled
I escaped, not willing to meet death's defeat.
Written on 6/19/2015
Quatret
You know they are coming
See the dust in the air
Feel the ground tremble beneath your feet.
Can't quite see them
But you know they are there
Suddenly your face is white as a sheet.
The Horsemen are riding
Your world is ending
No use complaining it just isn't fair.
Swords scything down
Trumpeting stallions
The battle is over so don't even care.
Man's castles are falling
His caverns no respite,
Armies are dust in a flash of might.
The judgement is binding,
The deep dead are rising,
Their sad faces form in the fading light.
You're torn and your tattered,
The scent of blood heavy
Old Earth is shaking, you try to run.
The darkness is closing
You better be ready
The Horsemen are coming, the end has begun!
Hours transpired like every other day.
Perched on the trees, sparrows chirped,
keeping the dreadful silence at bay,
and sunlight across the land, whipped.
Laid there on the grassy lawn,
was a lovely lass dressed in a corset.
Smelling the blossoms like a fawn,
enchanted was she by nature's best.
Up the hill ran a hysterical lad,
his face as white as a sheet,
shattered her heart to more than just a shard,
and made her swoon to her feet.
Minutes rolled to hours, and hours to days,
and there she sat like a stone.
With her eyes so lifeless and cold,
her once rosy lips now as dry as a bone.
Draining her blood was her soul,
turning her visage as of a ghoul.
Neither did she eat, nor drink,
as she stooped over life's brink.
Deep down was an endless bottom,
which her rotting psyche couldn't fathom.
The day came when her eyes lit up,
like a hopeless spark in a dark cavern.
She let go and set her eyes on the stars afar,
and said "I'll be there wherever you are".
In Junior High, I decided to try
to play an instrument
I joined the band, French horn in hand
determined to make music
I lugged my horn, ready to mourn
for myself, as I walked home
Although I practiced, my butt, this horn kicked
I could never play a song
The noise I did play, made all ears run away
and was painful to mine as well
Like howling dogs, the sound was all wrong
and frightening to my neighbors
Children cried on my street, men were white as a sheet
mothers ran out to buy ear plugs
But I didn't upset, became teacher's pet
And won the band's top accolade
With trophy in hand, I took a stand
and never returned to band
This is a true story but SLIGHTLY exaggerated
By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, January 31, 2012
5th place in Self Exaggerations contest
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