Long White as a sheet Poems
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My wife picked up the phone and called her friend Lucy
Said we'll be in your haunts, we're coming to D.C.
"We found a hotel in Largo, it has a large pool
It will take our dog, and the kids don't have school."
Lucy replied "Largo hotels shelter many an illegal
"I suppose you picked it because it will allow your beagle
"Anyway, not all illegals are guilty of vice
DHS is cracking down, plus some are really nice."
"One point" Lucy added, "don't walk outside:
"Largo's poor, and lots of crime beside"
"And" said Lucy, don't park in the back of the hotel...
"Thieves will rip off your car, and parts they'll resell
"There's nice shopping, but a gang hangs out at the mall
"They sometimes get violent, but police are on call
"I bought shoes there, it's nice - oh if you take the train
"Just avoid the bad types, stay in your lane."
My wife is an optimist, she said Lucy was upbeat
But the devils in the details, I was white as a sheet
I switched our reservation to Rockville MD
Hard to believe that our capital is Washington, D.C.
I looked up Largo, its known as really bad
But many towns are runners up, it's really sad
I've been told by folks who visit Europe's east
They have safer, prettier cities, relatively at least.
The U.S. is a checkerboard, some squares are alright
But 40 percent of us fear going out at night
I used to think we were a center of freedom and right
But dystopia reins, the future's not bright.
I'd stopped to have a rest on our morning jungle trek
and had leaned against a liana covered tree
in this land I was a stranger and I didn't see the danger
that was lurking just a foot away from me.
With the pinpoint lightning strike like a fencer's foil might
it attacked, then a hiss, and it was gone
it's fast acting Dendrotoxin knocked me out like I'd been boxing
but thank God I had my guide to call upon.
The doctor checked my throat and got out some antidotes
though he didn't know what species had attacked,
but my guide had took a shot, and the photo he had got
would be proof enough to back up all the facts.
The doctor took a look and consulted in a book
after leafing through the pages he declared
“ You're lucky to be here, it's a species to be feared
and if it had been me, I'd have been scared”.
I went white as a sheet, he said “ it's length is fourteen feet
coal black eyes, scales lime green, belly of amber,
but the crown on it's head confirms to me without a doubt
you've been bitten by a lifetime premium Mamba.”
DRUNKEN OLD Pete...
Old Pete went out to celebrate new year
Was over the limit from too much beer
Old drunks they never learn
Cos he took a wrong turn
And drove down harbour hill right off the pier.
He was floundering and kicking his feet
And didn't see the glow of a sharks teeth
From Pete's leg took a bite
To quench his appetite
And poor Pete's face turned as white as a sheet...
A passer by heard a scream and a shout
Threw a rope and managed to get him out
Said "you're lucky to survive
But you shouldn't drink and drive
At least in your one foot you won't get gout"...
He lost his job and he now has to beg
So to hospital he went for a new leg
They had no legs in stock
And old Pete had a shock
When they fused beer cans to make him a Peg...
EXPLORER STEW ...
Two explorers Barthomolew and Drew
Came across natives practicing vodoo
They ran but were too late
And awaited their fate
A native shouted "we got us some stew"...
GRETA...
Greta wanted to stop world pollution
And warned that there will be retribution
Said " I'll name and shame
Those who are to blame
And action, less talk is the solution" ...
Written 28th December 2021.
Invasion of the Bums & Scarecrow-Soldiers & Pretty Ballerina’s
By David J Walker
What are you gonna be
I donno
Maybe a soldier or a bum again or a Martian
My sister wants to be a ballerina
But its way too cold for that
The most memorable year was when my mom turned me into
the tallest paper mâché octopus
Every seen
in a 3rd grade class.
The Halloween parade would begin at 10 on the school stage that hosted
the most ghosts & goblins
bums and ballerinas
and store-bought Cops & Cinderella’s
soldiers and white-as-a-sheet spooks with big cutout eyes
& bums with bones
black magically coming out of nowhere
After dinner & Its the Great Pumpkin Charley Brown
We are out terrorizing the town
Winter coats covering our prized costumes
Timidly
Begging for candy
Until our big brown bags could hold no more
Sorting
Chocolate with chocolate
Suckers with suckers
Candy bars of all kinds
Candy lips & candied apples
Candy cigarettes & Popcorn balls
The next morning
Moan/Groaning
But still
can’t wait for school to start &
The retelling of the last nights Halloween Haul &
Haunted adventure
There I was as white as a sheet,
the alcohol was working ,I could not feel my feet.
The bus was out of the question, taxi too.
Walking was the answer,if only I knew.
The rain was splashing against my face,
my glasses steamed up I hurried my pace.
M y head was buzzing,my stomach numb.
Why oh why was I so dumb.
I had only wanted a drink or two.
My problem I cant say no.
All or nothing,the only way to go.
As i smoked the third cigarette,the effects were under way.
My eyes were looking but not at you,
I was a million miles away.
The fourth drink was gone number five to.
All the way the only way I know..
So here I am staggering alone.
a couple more kilometers, and I will be home,
as I look to cross the road,
all is clear over I go.
Wait stop!:
I look with eyes of dread,
a v.w golf has hit my leg.
I look up give the o.k.
then bells started ringing in my head.
This road is one way.
too late I say,he is off at least I am o.k.
So here I am in the safety of home.
I made it all alone
I lay my weary head on the bed.
All or nothing the only way to be.
Once a year is enough for me.
At the beginning of my shift at Like Home Inclusive Care, I always check in on Miss Rosa first. I usually check her vitals and get her ready for her breakfast.
She was one of my favorite residents. She was a petite woman with a loving gaze and a warm smile. She loves to read the scriptures and sing old-time gospel even though she sang out of tune and forgot most of the lyrics.
Working with geriatric patients for so many years it came instinctively to me when I enter a room that there was something wrong. Something like impending doom. There was no heavy sound of breathing and she was laying on her back with her mouth wide open. Her honey color skin had turned white as a sheet and she was cold to the touch.
She was ninety-eight years young as she would love to say.
Her medical files showed that she had a history of seizures and documented excess mortality.
I stood there for a while looking down at her, remembering all the warm and memorable moments I shared with her. She was a good listener. Often times I would bring her a bowl of my homemade chicken orzo soup.
I pulled myself together and proceeded with the care guide protocol. I change her gown which was stained with sphincter discharge and sponged her down.
She always wore gloves even while asleep. She was inexorable about keeping her gloves on to hide her hypertrophic scars, and so out of love and respect for her, I left them on.
I thought while I was waiting for the mortician to come, I would start packing some of her belongings. in the back of the wardrobe I came across a metal box that was filled with old newspaper articles and a journal
Her only profile on record was medical information. There was no record of family members.
I wanted to know if she had any family members somewhere so that I could try and track them down, I open the metal box.
I read the newspaper articles and thumb quickly through the journal and I was spellbound and shocked by what I read.............
continue on part 2
January 24, 2023
One pitch black night I was driving home and was ready for my bed
My usual route was closed for repairs so I took the minor road instead
I was just approaching the old derelict mill that was over to my right
When out of nowhere a lady appeared dressed from head to toe in white.
I tried to swerve but hit her head on and it gave me one helluva fright
Thought what was she doing alone out here in the middle of the night
I quickly jumped out of my car and dialed, nine one one on my phone
And thinking that I might have killed someone, chilled me to the bone.
But there was no sign of her and I feared she was underneath
I caught sight of my face in the cars mirror ; I'd gone white as a sheet
I quickly got down on the ground and used my phones torchlight
And I started praying to God up high that the poor lady was alright.
But she wasn't underneath the car and thought was I going insane
The wind was howling loudly now and brought with it heavy rain
I was all on edge, then got in my car and had the life scared out of me
When a loud voice said " operator here, what's your emergency"?
Something Spooky 8 to 16 lines Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
Written 5th October 2021.
In old Europe, heretics were burned at the stake,
For having wrong opinions was a fatal mistake.
And in some countries, blasphemers aren't free,
You can't go against the sacred, whatever it may be.
Young Nazis with armbands walked down a Vienna street
One pointed a gun; some would turn white as a sheet.
Karl Popper was interested in truth, but the point was moot
The Nazi told him "I don't argue, I shoot!"
(Chorus)
The radical falls into a hole and speeds down,
Positive feedback, interlocking lies can make his old self drown.
He comes out the other side, but not the same,
There’s no arguing anymore, he won't play that game.
Charlie Kirk believed in debate and said, "Prove me wrong."
But Tyler went down a rabbit hole, heard the wrong song.
He said Charlie was a "hater," but hate's where Tyler went,
He shot Charlie dead at a debate event.
Why should anyone argue? We all know we're right.
Your points are sacred; opponents must take flight.
Conservatives aren't fascists, but if you claim they are,
You start acting as a fascist, force becomes a guiding star.
In North Korea, the wrong idea is a lifelong stamp,
Free thinkers and their relatives end up in a work camp.
Criminals don't argue with their victims; reason isn't the goal.
Now self-righteous youth are taking that role.
It doesn't look good for Generation Z,
Many believe ideas that won't let them be free.
The future of the globe may be a crimson tide
I hate to think what lies on the other side.
White as a sheet ghostly color,
sans countenance of mine
impossible to differentiate between
Lenovo external screen background
myopia no deterrent as jaw slackened
upon Citizens Bank notification
current spate of ill health
(relentless stomach virus)
triggered emotional state
Kamikaze nose dived
into forbidding deathwish
gastrointestinal Civil War
relentlessly raged kickstarting
linkedin body, mind, spirit
emergency necessitating transfer of funds,
and/ or anonymous philanthropic injection
to staunch, stave, and stay hemorrhaging,
whereby checking account
beyond restoration, sans life support
heroic measures sense (cents) less,
now, mine entire being
excruciating figurative explosion,
viz rapidly fired projectile
as if "FAKE" mandibles bit the bullet
self destruction declaration reactivated
casus belli (caused by ache'n belly)
just on cusp of recovery
succumbed to lowest record nadir
kindling, sparking, and whip sawing
plea for salvation or termination,
mine abysmal ad hoc existence
evincing illogic, quixotic, tragic...
charade, facade, masquerade, et cetera
accursed woe synonymous with Sisyphus
condemned to Hades exhausting
arduous, laborious, torturous... punishment
social security disability deposit
congenital schizoid personality disorder
attendant anxiety, obsessive/ compulsive
disorder, panic marginally tempered
asper prescription medication
as each day of destitution,
offers smidgen alleviation!
Inspired by Joseph Mays limerick contest.
(not for contest )
-----------------------------------------------
A mischievous chef known as McMurray
For a joke put Epsom salts in the curry
The toilet door he did lock
The customers were in shock
He left by the back door in a great hurry.
An astronomer by the name of Pete
Was perving at the lady cross the street
Full moon he did spy
But not in the sky
He got caught and went as white as a sheet.
There was a dodgy plumber called John Blake
No plumbing skills was a bit of a fake
The wrong nut he undone
Panicked went on the run
Now downstairs of the house has its own lake.
A randy teacher called Fred O'Hare
With a young girl he had an affair
But she told her dad
Who went hopping mad
Now Fred is getting medical care .
There was a very weird poet from Bude
Loved to sit out writing verse in the nude
A wasp stung his manhood
Screamed out as you would
Doc said that's what you get for being rude .