Five Limericks

Inspired by Joseph Mays limerick contest.
(not for contest )
-----------------------------------------------


A mischievous chef known as McMurray 
For a joke put Epsom salts in the curry
The toilet door he did lock 
The customers were in shock
He left by the back door in a great hurry.

An astronomer by the name of Pete
Was perving at the lady cross the street
Full moon he did spy
But not in the sky
He got caught and went as white as a sheet.

There was a dodgy plumber called John Blake 
No plumbing skills was a bit of a fake
The wrong nut he undone
Panicked went on the run
Now downstairs of the house has its own lake.

A randy teacher called Fred O'Hare
With a young girl he had an affair
But she told her dad
Who went hopping mad
Now Fred is getting medical care .

There was a very weird poet from Bude
Loved to sit out writing verse in the nude
A wasp stung his manhood
Screamed out as you would 
Doc said that's what you get for being rude .
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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12
Anaya Avatar
April 19, 2023 at 4:34 PM
I agree with Connie, may she rest in peace, your limericks brought joy and laughter! Loved the last, especially.
Cunningham Avatar
April 19, 2023 at 10:24 PM
Thank you very much Anaya, im happy you enjoyed them, Heading off for Falaraki, hope your week is going well. Tom
Mckeithan Avatar
February 8, 2019 at 3:40 PM
Excellent Limericks Tom. They are a hoot!
Cunningham Avatar
February 8, 2019 at 3:53 PM
Thank you Oliver, glad you enjoyed them. Tom.
Ifeanyichukwu Avatar
January 19, 2019 at 1:05 PM
Good work, I love the use of metaphor and simile. Good one Tom.
Cunningham Avatar
January 20, 2019 at 4:17 AM
Thank you for your visit and comment Okonkwo. Regards. Tom.
Pathak Avatar
January 14, 2019 at 2:01 AM
I liked the limericks, they have certain freshness
Cunningham Avatar
January 14, 2019 at 2:32 AM
Thank you Aniruddha for your visit and comment. Happy you enjoyed them. Tom.
Dietrich Avatar
January 12, 2019 at 7:48 PM
hey, I see this set got POTD. Way to go with it, tom. Congratulations.
Cunningham Avatar
January 13, 2019 at 2:17 AM
Thank you very much Andrea, Tom.
De Beaulieu Avatar
January 9, 2019 at 11:25 AM
Hello Tom, I like the last one you created.I like the fourth one as well.Also the second and first. oh well... i liked them all. Have a nice day my friend.
Cunningham Avatar
January 9, 2019 at 12:42 PM
Thank you Darlene, happy that you enjoyed them. Tom
Marcum Wong Avatar
January 8, 2019 at 10:02 AM
These brought a smile and joy Tom. I am very happy to see they are honored with POTD! Congratulations Tom! : ) xxoo
Cunningham Avatar
January 8, 2019 at 12:14 PM
Thank you very much Connie,it was an unexpected surprise. Tom.
Michael Avatar
January 8, 2019 at 10:01 AM
Congratulations Tom...I knew it was special....
Cunningham Avatar
January 8, 2019 at 12:08 PM
Thanks very much Arturo. Tom
Ashley Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 10:40 PM
Your humor sparkles in your brilliant limericks, Tom. I enjoyed them all, thanks for a bunch of giggles. Congratulations on your wonderful and well deserved recognition with POTD honors. Warmest wishes always my friend.. ~Susan
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 10:51 PM
Thank you very much Susan, I'm happy that you enjoyed them. Tom.
Nicole Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 10:06 PM
I am not one to write limerick's, but you have created a masterpiece!! Several!! These are cute and they made me smile. Thank you for that. Congratulations Tom, on Poem of the Day. :) Brandy
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 10:35 PM
Thank you very much Brandy, I'm glad you enjoyed my bit of humour. Regards. Tom.
One Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 3:38 PM
Knew these were brilliant when I first read them.. Congrats on POTD my friend..
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 3:48 PM
Thanks very much S.O., lovely surprise to start the week. Tom.
Williams Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 1:47 PM
Best POTD Ever! Loved it. Congrats on the POTD.
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 2:09 PM
Thank you very much Marilyn, I'm happy you enjoyed them. Tom.
Awtry Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 12:19 PM
Congratulations dear Tom on POTD!
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 1:24 PM
Thank you P.S. It was a nice surprise. Tom.
Sands Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 12:12 PM
These are great! Thanks for the laugh! Congratulations for POTD! :)
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 1:22 PM
Thank you Heidi, glad you enjoyed them. Tom.
Pigeon Tart Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 11:15 AM
A gaggle of giggles! Awesome limericks Tom! Congratulations on POTD :))) xomo!
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 1:21 PM
Thank you Maureen, happy you liked them. Tom.
Doll Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 11:06 AM
Tom, these a hilarious and so well written. Congratulations on POTD. Well deserved, Happy New Year~Warren
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 1:17 PM
Thank you Warren, glad you enjoyed them, a happy new year to you too. Tom.
Raven Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 10:56 AM
Dropping by with my congratulations on your Poem Of The Day honour with these five wonderful limericks Tom. Laughed so much almost fell off the bed. Have a wonderful Monday. Your friend always....Mike.
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 1:01 PM
Thank you very much Mike, I'm glad they gave you a laugh. Tom.
Pandit Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 10:52 AM
Back with congrats Tom on poem of the day.
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 12:55 PM
Thank you very much Vijay, Tom.
May Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 9:28 AM
Haha..These are some good ones Tom..Congrats on POTD..
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 11:56 AM
And thank you Joseph, it was your contest that gave me the inspiration . Tom.
Riabi Dziri Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 7:53 AM
A great artistic write capturing the various nature of human beings in a humorous penning! Congratulations, Tom, on your POTD! A well earned acknowledgement.. Enjoyed reading. My deepest regards. Blessings.
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 8:41 AM
Thank you very much Besma, I'm glad that you enjoyed them. Tom.
Messina Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 7:39 AM
For a poet who uses all five, for a contest I think he'll survive, he's headed for first, second at worst, damn, I wonder if I will survive..lol Great lim's Tom...Congrats on POTD honors...Charlie
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 8:39 AM
Thanks Charlie , these were additional, didn't use them in the contest. Tom.
Andresen Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 7:23 AM
- Five excellent limerick .... really funny, Tom :))) - Congratulations on your well deserved p.o.t.d. ... HURRAY - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 8:38 AM
Thanks very much Sunshine. Glad you liked them. Tom.
Warrior Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 7:04 AM
The Limerick King strikes again!... Congrats!!! on POTD! Tommy...love & light...^WW^
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 8:35 AM
Haha, thanks W.W. I'm still learning though. Tom.
Smith Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 7:03 AM
Good ones Tom, congratulations for POTD honors...
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 8:34 AM
Than you very much Charlie. Tom.
Gondolf Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 5:05 AM
What a great way to start the day with these fun limericks, Tom, congrats on POTD. John
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2019 at 8:33 AM
Thanks very much John, happy you enjoyed them. Tom.
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