Toilet Poems | Examples

List of Member Poems

Premium Member When the Toilet Paper Roll Is Almost Empty

My feisty Yorkie, who has a bag of personality, 
Got hold of my last roll of toilet paper. 
Attacking brutally, mauling half the roll.
Paper confetti flew around as it paraded, looking gratified.

Premium Member When the Toilet Paper Roll is Almost Empty


The roll of paper white now thin,
Grows threadbare, tattered and quite lean,
A silent signal, soft and low,
The final sheets starting to show.

Each tear a whisper, a slight grace,
As emptiness soon fills its place,
No more a buffer, soft and kind,
To replenish one can just find. 

Like paper thinning, life recedes,
Fulfilling all its earthly deeds,
The gentle turning, day by day,
Leads to a quiet, waning ray.

With the bones slim, a fragile shroud,
Above the whispers of the crowd,
Each subtle shift stamps a sign,
Along the path of one`s lifeline

The roll will soon be spent and gone,
Beneath the supple shining sun,
A quiet sigh, a letting go,
As softer currents start to flow.

The End of the Roll

A toilet is my peaceful place,
Where I can just sit and hide my face,
I can sit and relax and read my news paper,
Sit and read about the recent news capers.

Then when I finished my business I realize there is only one sheet,
So I sit there thinking on that cold hard seat,
Then finally it comes to me, I'll use the sports page from my daily news sheet!!


Premium Member When the Toilet Paper Roll is Almost Empty

When the toilet paper roll 
is almost empty,
it may cause panic, 
but only temporarily!
You just have to make sure 
a full roll is close by, 
for if not, there may be no one
to hear your anguished cry!

In my parents' house, the extra bumwad
was in a closet, 
but not in the loo;
a circumstance that should have been outlawed,
for what was a child to do 
with the poo
that was still stuck on his smelly backside?
Some ingenuity must be applied!

Well, the toilet paper roll is paper too!
Unroll it, smooth it out. That oughta do!

Premium Member Toilet Paper Roll


When toilet paper roll is almost empty
We shouldn’t frown, panic and worry
Water host is attached on toilet’s wall
With sprinkler to wash our buttocks on bowl.

Water washes waste’s smudge thoroughly
With soap, bottom will no longer smelly
Whole life’s comfort comes more frequently
As washing purifies while wiping cleans partly.

Premium Member Toilet Paper Roll

     I keep sufficient stalk of daily needs ! 
      That is my nature.
     Regarding toilet paper
    I have three rolls always at hand.
    One is finished, I order for the next .
     Never to fall any shortage !

   "Toilet Tissue almost at end !"
   "Funny Topic"
  " Ridiculous Question" : 
     Not to entertain .


Toilet paper panic

Middle of nowhere as the road continues
A hotel sign welcomes my urgent needs
Panic, chaos, as I search for a restroom sign
I burst though the door like a gun slinger in a saloon
Relief
In the wild maze of stalls and panic 
I never checked my surroundings for supplies
The roll has gone from white to brown.  
No more TP!
Next to me I can see feet.  
I am frozen.  
I do not make a sound
I feel like I am being hunted by embarrassment
I do not know who is next to me
I make assumptions of their life by the appearance of their shoes
Kind of scuffed and not well maintained
"Spare a square" I would never dare
I wait uncomfortably until they are gone
I shuffle to another stall and again I am whole.

Nearing the end of the toilet roll..

When nearing the end of your toilet roll -
Apprehension of the unknown takes its toll.
     Turn back to Nature for some respite,
     For inspiration on what is right -
To calm your mind and free your soul.

Premium Member When the Toilet Paper Roll Is Almost Empty

Pretty flowers were what we looked for,
had no money for the store.
Bathroom to save the day,
soft white flowers not gray.
Toilet paper roll no more.

Premium Member When the Toilet Paper Roll Is Almost Empty...

imitate my poor husband— 
just pinch the tube.
knead and press and stretch.
luck yields to demand.
matter offloading.
noisome
opulence 
plenishes in a blink!
quiet panic builds.
rationalize
squares.
this isn't toothpaste.
utilize shallow breaths.

Premium Member Existential Wane

I feel my thinning purpose slipping fast~
a fragile spool with only scraps to give.
Each sheet you take recalls the recent past
when I was whole, and certain I could live.

Now every tug reveals how close I am
to joining hollow rings upon the floor;
I cling to what remains, a quiet jam
between becoming less… and being no more.

The spindle hums, indifferent to my state;
the cabinet waits, aloof in its supply.
I balance on the edge of near-not-fate
and ask what worth persists when comforts die.

If meaning blooms in moments nearly gone,
then I, half-spent, still matter as I wane.

Premium Member Toilet Paper


Contest: When the toilet paper is
almost gone.
Sponsor: Sara Kendrick

Although I never reached paniky mode,
I don't recall ever being more traumatized
Than when we were invaded by COVID-19.
Until then, I had never seen empty shelves
In a grocery store.  No water; No toilet paper.

There had been a fire crisis in our state
Some years prior to COVID- 19.  Tragedy 
Struck and burned down the town of Paradise,
Ca., killing 85 people. Perhaps that was when we became more aware of the importance of crisis preparation and being able to calmly move into a crisis mode when or if the situation demanded it.

So when COVID-19 came upon us in 2020,
It seemed that toilet paper was one of the
The most sought after products in the market place.  Bottled water and toilet paper flew of the shelves.

When I noticed it, I said to myself,
"No need to fear because my dear wife has
Planned for such a situation".  So, I was
Relaxed as I shopped for other things. We
Were a long way from being out of toilet paper.

Ever Been Ratted By A Special Mouse With Party Hemorrhoids, Liars Toilet Paper Anyone?

Tater's and beer
In another privileged day of excitement
Look at me, friend, a belch has the sense to appear
Like a spit in a tube, with a reason to rube, I know a foolish hickey to relent

Like a child of the stars, the poise of uncertainty
Has become ours, to let a swallow of many and might
Become the secret of misery no one is saying, publicly...?
What the hell rhymes with muscles and care, if I do it myself up right?

A mouse wanders by, daring us to catch itself in a trap
Wow, it says, the misery I notice and due, is a little vague...
Suppose the danger of me and reality is for any and all, a hosting crap
That seems to be taters and beers, having a good time at my imagination's rage?

Garderobe

Guards are now needed to stop all people
Accessing what makes me need to go extra
Regularly
Down to the hole
Entered by nothing but piss & excrement.
Royalty keeps their dress unspoiled.
Outstanding toilets are sat on by
Bums only for the private
Eye.

Premium Member Make Sure the Dunny Lid is Shut


Some years ago I discovered a sign
 in a men's public toilet 
the sound and feel of my own laughter 
filled me with much delight
Please don t throw your cigarette butts in the urinal
it makes them damp and hard to light

It is hard to imagination that the man who wrote this sign
would have had such a deep nicotine affliction
To attempt to light a soggy butt
to satisfy his daily nicotine addiction

Would this sign be found in a women's public toilet
There's no urinal, Their sign would likely read
This toilet is only suitable for one kind of butt
and when you leave please make sure the dunny lid is shut

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