I Cried in the Toilet

I cried in the toilet because it was the only place no one needed me to be quiet and smiling. I cried because Howl smiled at me, and something inside me was too broken to hold the joy. I cried not because of anything in particular— but because everything was always too much, and nobody noticed I never stopped trying. I cried with the water running so no one would hear— but not a single soul was listening anyway. And still, I dried my face, flushed the grief, washed my hands, and returned like nothing had fallen out of me at all.