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Best Toilet Poems

Below are the all-time best Toilet poems written by Poets on PoetrySoup. These top poems in list format are the best examples of toilet poems written by PoetrySoup members


Premium Member Toilet Bowl Committee
Toilet Bowl Committee (aka: Uptown Hood)

A lavatory confinement
my$h!tdontstinkcomode.com
---
If you want to moderate this place, pick up the pace
From the mouth down to the @$$
Your so...

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© SKAT A   Create an image from this poem.
Categories: toilet, abuse, anger, angst, how
Form: Free verse



Premium Member The Toilet
                        ...

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Categories: toilet, funny, words,
Form: Shape
I SIT ON THE TOILET
I sit on the toilet...
planning my choice of clothing,
hairstyle, makeup and daily chores.
Using my eyeliner for writing
a reminder to myself on the toiletpaper,
and make me...

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Categories: toilet, life,
Form: Free verse
The Toilet Of Our Existence
It was what it was
A stunning photograph
of
a
toilet

Ironically
it was
in the end
a microcosm
of
life 
today

Creative
and positive
in its composition

Limited
and depressing
in its
stark reality

No matter 
how 
you paint 
it
we 
are 
in...

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Categories: toilet, philosophy,
Form: Free verse
Premium Member GOODBYE
(NOTHING MORE TO SAY)

I've seen the way you look at me
I've seen the way you look at them
Without wanting to admit, you hate everything I...

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© SKAT A   Create an image from this poem.
Categories: toilet, break up, conflict, goodbye,
Form: Free verse



Premium Member Redneck Santa
T'were the night after Christmas, 'n' the house was all dark.
Not much money for 'lectric in the ol' trailer park.
Ma waitin' tables at the club...

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© Roy Jerden  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: toilet, christmas, parody,
Form: Rhyme
Premium Member A mountain from a pile

How far do the ripples spread, when eventually we die 
Probably stay in the locality, level off, no major outcry
But let’s say we’re famous, suffering...

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Categories: toilet, allusion, corruption, prejudice, truth,
Form: Rhyme
Premium Member Inconvenient Rhyme Times
I’ve lost more prose				Driving in my car,
than I’ve written				navigating traffic,
for they often come unbidden		poems form like magic.
not minding where.				I can’t release the wheel
They haven’t the...

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Categories: toilet, giggle, inspiration, memory, poetry,
Form: Rhyme
Premium Member Halloween on the Dark Side of Town
It's a nightmare down on Elm Street. Satan's waiting here at home.
Where's that little Freddy Krueger with his nails of sharpened chrome?
And that dearest Michael...

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© Roy Jerden  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: toilet, holiday, satire,
Form: Rhyme
Follow The Bouncing Ball

She dresses the land down
in a virginal bridal gown 
a masterfully cut and sewn chenille 
shines brightly with a fine crystal appeal

Her assistants work quite diligently
to add special...

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Categories: toilet, cheer up, , cute,
Form: Free verse
Wishes and Dreams
I wish I could walk without feeling pain
I wish I could live my life again.

I dream of a time when I could run like a...

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Categories: toilet, day, deep, dream, health,
Form: Couplet
The Workplace Wee
If someone at work saw my Mary,
I’d resign just as quick as can be,
But men have to face this fear squarely,
When they go for a...

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Categories: toilet, fun, funny, humor, humorous,
Form: Rhyme
Make Do and Mend
Make Do and Mend,

Years ago we had jobs
We had fun and money in our pocket
Things were much better then
Once you could go out the door
And...

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© Peter Dome  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: toilet, community,
Form: Verse
What's In The Urn
           What’s In The Urn

Strangers offered me to join them in a drink
I met them...

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Categories: toilet, adventure, animal, anxiety, conflict,
Form: Quatrain
Matters of the heart
Balaclava'd minister in a lanky limousine
Condomised personality inside a broken mask
Skewered chopsticks serve pieces of Pancolin
Toilet paper dolphins to wipe his weary arse

Ave Maria.. Amanita...

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Categories: toilet, holocaust,
Form: Free verse
Things I Have Learned
Don’t take a walk after a large glass of tea

If someone says, “sure take as many as you want” 
They probably don’t mean it

Darling you...

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Categories: toilet, funny
Form: Free verse
The Reunion
In the beginning it is just a lovely cloud
Collin comes across her in the coffee house
One of his friends calls his attention
Look, your mom is...

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Categories: toilet, anxiety, beauty, joy, mother,
Form: Free verse
Premium Member At A Funeral
At a funeral we,                     ...

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Categories: toilet, dog, flower, friend, funeral,
Form: Free verse
Premium Member FIVE LIMERICKS
Inspired by Joseph Mays limerick contest.
(not for contest )
-----------------------------------------------


A mischievous chef known as McMurray 
For a joke put Epsom salts in the curry
The toilet door...

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Categories: toilet, humor,
Form: Limerick
Buying Condoms
BUYING CONDOMS

I was desperate to buy me some condoms
On a Wednesday morning in June
My girlfriend had made me a promise
And we were meeting up that...

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© Jim Bates  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: toilet, humor, humorous,
Form: Quatrain
Thar Blows Maria: Collaboration with New Additions
Too many hurricanes are causing havoc this season.  We might as well have a limerick collaboration about them since they seem to be in...

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© Lin Lane  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: toilet, storm,
Form: Limerick
Old Man Time
Redeployed in an ugly skin
Pleated and spotted and grumpy within
What I call walking ,they call shuffling
I'm bending down to tie my shoe
While Im down here...

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Categories: toilet, best friend, funny, grandfather,
Form: Free verse
Premium Member I Reminisce, I Miss
I reminisce, I miss....                     ...

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Categories: toilet, child, computer, fun, old,
Form: Free verse
Premium Member OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN
Olivia Newton John
A stunning sex bomb
Starred in the film Grease
Talk of ‘ those pants’ never cease!

I wonder how she managed to dance
In skin-tight shiny black...

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Categories: toilet, body, clothes, humorous, tribute,
Form: Clerihew
Premium Member Faith Hope Charity
Faith will lead the way                    ...

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Categories: toilet, faith, giving, heaven, hope,
Form: Acrostic