Schmuck Poems | Examples

Premium Member Daffy Duck

Rooting for zany and cunning Daffy Duck
wrong place wrong time ~ somewhat of a schmuck
at the wrong end of Elmer Fudd’s gun
not much fun to always be on the run



AP: 3rd place 2025
fun
Form: Clerihew

Premium Member fool of a poet

the times I've been here, words in hand
      mind-sculpting verse of phrases, grand
         that speak of that, the cruelest school
   those moments, rife, I've played a fool ...

laid bare this soul, with one broad knife
      sweet dreams of romance, love and life
         my heart bled, staining some girl's feet
   whose care for me was ne'er as sweet ...

and shared in poems for worlds to read
      midst hopes they might just fill a need
         while all I've done, with sheet and pen
   is prove I'm that damned fool ... again ...

the deepest feelings - spilled for those
      I loved and lost, who thumb their nose
         at odes brought forth, or all such gems
   so polished smooth with tears, for them ...

it's always me, this pining schmuck
      that's tumbled down on lover's luck
         now writing chiseled stanzas, meant
   for some fair lass whose love I spent ...

why won't the sweetest phrase impart
      some love to make those longings start
         for ME, this fool with chances, slim ...
   some sweet girl writes a poem ... for HIM?
Form: Rhyme


Hey Universe

Hey Universe
Why you coming at me so hard?
 Did I do some sht to piss ya off?
Or you just playing some evil part?
Its all getting kinda rough
Im not nearly tough enough 
To get through this & come up
 been kickin me down so much
Im bruised & lumped up 
in every possible spot I can touch
I've already accepted i got no luck
But seriously, like what the fck?
You Actin like a fckin schmuck
When all I ever be asking for
Is acceptance & love
Got me questioning what i did
 that was so wrong?
Sht been so bad for so long
I just wana finally 
find where I belong
I wanna smile forreal n not
Have to fake how I feel
Breaking down every day bc
I cant deal
An honestly idek if
All of this is even real
...I hope not
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Luck

Luck
Miracle Man
11/21/2024

In life I’ve found,
Rewards seldom came without a price tag,
many declare they were lucky and brag.

But I've never held to this thing called luck,
to wait on chance makes me feel like a schmuck.

Many times due diligence was my price,
I won't listen to a strangers advice.

Both good and bad sometimes happens to all,
the frequency is God's, it’s not my call.

I've lived a full life with many a test,
Not feeling lucky but always blessed.
Form: Couplet

AMERICAN'S 2024 ELECTION

 The American people have
Lost their minds.
   Electing the SCHMUCK,
One more time.

   MR. Trump, a dangerous
Man-child.
   A convicted FELON,
Running wild.

   No consequences to
His actions.
   A traveling Circus,
THE MAIN ATTRACTION.

   He is a FASCIST, RACIST, SEXIST,
Preaching his Campaign.
   He BABBLES on and on and on,
The man is INSANE.

A MORON in charge of the
Greatest place on EARTH.
Where we force our Women,
To give BIRTH.

The white men will be
The least affected.
Anything else will
Be REJECTED.

WOMEN, NON-WHITE and
THE LGBTQ.
Pay attention they are
Coming for you.

OUR BODIES,
THEIR CHOICE.
We no longer have
A VOICE.

No more BLUE skies,
 cold dark RAIN.
We will live and die,
IN THE HOUSE OF PAIN.

   Turbo1904 ?
Form: Rhyme


Premium Member Huh

Some say zed and some say zee
Some say yes and some says oui 
Some say moi and some say me
But the whole darned world says huh

Some say poo and some say poop
Some say broth and some say soup
Some say gravy some say jus
But the whole darned world says huh

Some say film and some say movie
Some say fab and some say groovy
Some say dance and some say boogie
But the whole darned world says huh

Some say dollar, some say buck
Some say lorry, some say truck 
Some say loser, some say schmuck
But the whole darned world says huh

Some say cram and some say swat
Some say sexy, some say hot 
Some say eh? and some say what?
But the whole darned world says huh
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Guillutine

The arc of teeth
the rising and falling of words 
Transcribing tangled knots 
sayings nonsensical
Incisors gnashing 
bone scrapes the blade.
Keep searching, keep searching, 
they are meant to be found,
to be bound by record.
Between both pens at 
the side of the skull
Is the archive of every schmuck 
sentenced
To receive the cold descent
Upon the neck’s nape 
that feels frigid
Is the greeting of 
a friend’s final conversation.

Premium Member Trying to Unload a Friend

Miss Candy P. Cane was in a bit of a fix.
Her friend Miss L. Toe was not able to mix.
They were at a party with Mr. Chris T. Mess.
He wanted Candy alone, he had to confess.

Can’t she find anyone? He asked his sweetie dear.
Maybe she could go with Sir Red N. Deer?
Miss Candy P. Cane wished she had not brought Miss L.
Being alone with her honey would have been swell.

But she was a loyal friend, and she was kind of stuck.
Surely there is someone else? She asked. Another schmuck?
Miss L. Toe heard them, and marched off angry that day.
They have never repaired their friendship, most people say.
Form: Rhyme

You Are It

“If someone tells you, you can’t do something.
You say: yes I can, I’m doing it right now.”

---- Dinner For Schmucks.


This is it;
the one secret that is right out in the open:-

You are perfectly in-tune;
you are playing your own life-music,
you’re both the instrument and all the notes,
but you have to accept this.

This acceptance will cure your craziness.
It stops dead all expectations
because what you expect
is not what this happening of you is.
You are doing it already.

You are not just any schmuck,
you are the one and only schmuck.

Now your purpose; now your secret
is fully revealed to you – you cannot blow it
no matter how hard you try.
Go happen.

Premium Member Kaput

one eight-hundred NOTHING

          that’s the number that you call

               that charge-free line to NO ONE

      when you’ve cracked a hip or fall


should you have dire emergencies

          and need some schmuck to care

               dial six-six-eight, four-four-six-four

     it’s for sure … I WON’T be there.









Copyright © Gregory Richard Barden, April 13, 2023
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member In a Story Book

In a story book, I got stuck
and couldn’t find a way to break free. 
What a lousy day, just my luck!
Wondered why this happened to ME!

I looked for little Alice, she 
wouldn't show me her window – dumbstruck!	
Jack Horner, he could not believe
in a story book, I got stuck.

I looked all around and snuck 
a brief word with the fairies three.
They tried to raise a pumpkin truck 
and couldn’t find a way to break free.

With all my might and self-esprit
I began to huff, puff, and cluck. 
What could I do stuck on page three?
What a lousy day, just my luck!

What a mess was this stinking muck.
Aha! I’d find Humpty Dumpty!
He was cracked, but not a schmuck.
Wondered why this happened to ME!

Humpty cheered when hearing my plea
He was looking to gain a buck.
No wallet, we two couldn’t agree,
so I am still running amuck
	in a story book.

Premium Member I Need More Than An Suv

Though few drive off-road in their truck
Pick-up owners have run amok
Having a tail gate
Their mood will elate 
While the cabin carries a schmuck


Author's note: A pass to those folks who use their truck for business on a regular basis. However, a status truck reveals a weak mind and hurts the environment more than a "normal" car. Those are already bad enough.
Form: Limerick

A Political Diet

Lives a poet in the United States
Who's sick and tired of insolent ingrates
She went on a diet
And thinks you should try it
It doesn't involve the food on your plates

You're not allowed to talk of politics
Can't claim elections were stolen with tricks
Headlines are taboo
Evening news is, too
The country is a mess and needs a fix

Trump's big lie is never to be swallowed
In the mud he's slung, regret you've wallowed
The truth always comes out
Of that, she has no doubt
He's not a good leader to be followed

She will not boast of President Biden
His mental faculties may be slidin'
Age has taken a toll
On not reaching his goal
The road to Democracy must widen.

The diet will not drop pounds from your weight
But you'll be happier without debate
She's not being a schmuck
And is no longer stuck
In quagmires of governmental stalemate
Form: Limerick

Premium Member Shootout On Main Street

A shootout on Main Street at high noon, Buck
Bring your rusty six-shooter -- lots of luck!
You’ll need it, you see,
When up against me
Nobody survives calling me a schmuck! 

FIRST PLACE WINNER
Written May 4, 2022
for "High Noon" Poetry Contest
sponsored by Joseph May
10-10-5-5-10 syllables
Form: Limerick

Fear of Mind

Suffering is normal, being fortunate is luck
 we live the first day and die the second.
 You're just simply Human, I’d reckon
 So, while death is running amok, 
 mature and accept that your mind is a schmuck. 
 It's simple really, but your consciousness would disagree, 
 because it's in your thoughts that you think life is free. 
 Don't be surprised, this behavior is more than beckoned. 

Fruits will not be handed to you on a silver platter, 
it will likely be on a rubbish lid. 
Do you deserve it or not? It doesn’t matter.
Unfortunately, the meaning went over your head, God forbid. 
What I’m saying is that your time is limited, 
and while you frolic and dance, death had visited.
Form: Sonnet

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