Revision Poems

My Song Revision

Original song: Jubilee Song by Jamie Rivera
It's a time of joy, a time of peace
A time when hearts are then set free
A time to heal the wounds of division

It's a time of grace, a time of hope
A time of sharing the gifts we have
A time to build the world that is one

Revised lyrics: Jubilee Song

When We Spoon Revision

Your back, a velvet crescent,
draws my chest like gravity.
I map the slope of you slowly,
each breath a question my hands almost ask.

Flesh hums between folds of cotton,
heat slipping into heat —
a kind of friction language forgets,
where fingertips write what mouths resist.

You arch, slightly —
a sigh or a signal,
and my pulse answers before I do.
This hush

Jingle, Jangle, Jingle - Revision of 'My True Framework,' Feb 18, 2024

         Do you have skeletons in your closet
           I have a few in mine … 
 
         They jingle, jangle, jingle   
     

Writing and Revision

Every writer produces garbage, from time to time,
Stupid, embarrassing, awful stuff.
And despite what some poets seem to think,
Grammar is not a dirty word
Nor is it deadly to creative inspiration.
Revision is a process that has no clear ending point.
It is a difficult, demanding, and dangerous work
That is absolutely necessary
For a poet who cares about his craft.
But

Greenling Elegy - Revision

clouded omens across code

the objective fact of the atmosphere here
starves even the most modest
ambitions of fish outside their home waters

journey of yearning mundane
day-glow gradients of green
scales gasping 
toward the summit

regret etched in the eyeball
a penumbra casting its subtle shadow
lips rest in swags of exhausted lassitude
beleaguered
by their own bland arguments
against the reality

hung above a feckless mountainside

Day At the Beach Revision

beneath and above

Intertwined, interconnected, and one

In this moment, in this place,

The world is just begun.


The sound of waves, the seagulls' cry,

The salty air, the sand that's dry,

The sun's bright rays, the endless sky--

All compose this seaside high.


Feet on rock, chair held high,

The body still, the mind awry,

Listening to the sea's sweet sigh,

Tranquil, under the sun's

Heart of a Country Side Revision

In the heart of the countryside,

There's a meadow that's untamed and wide,

Where the mountain frames melt and the skies are blue,

And the clouds whisper secrets, just for you.


The sun shines through the forest abyss,

Glimmering rays of enchanting bliss,

And the fragrance of spring is carried on the breeze,

As the wildflowers sway with the trees.


A verdant land

My True Blue Sky a Revision

I'm taking pictures

Underneath my skin

I’m taking pictures

Of the places I'm in

I keep your image

Deep within my heart

With every falter

Of a broken start

I’m living questions

I forgot to ask

I'm finding meaning

In the daily task

I'm being stable 

In the fiercest storm

I'm living answers

In a brand-new morn 

I won't forget you even

If I neglect to hear

The thunder steps

Behind each

Revision of September

A life for a life,
far too many were taken;
Difficult lesson; 
Two towers fell we stood tall, 
revision of September.

Revision

REVISION

Can’t you see I’m trying to read?
We came here to do revision.
The exams are almost upon us
And I for one can’t afford to fail.
I really need to concentrate,
So please take your hand off my thigh

29th July 2022
Short Verse Inspired by Pictures poetry contest
Sponsor - Lisa YY
Link D
Word count 40

Division and Revision: Credit To Father Demino

"Avoid being divisionary and diversionary: take Dominion for The Universe paid for that already"

Date Night a Revision of May I

Come take my hand
                   and walk for a while.
                   Bring your beauty, your goodness,
     

The Brook- Final Revision - Ct

Note to Sponsor: Sorry, I did not quite understand the directions for the third quatrain part, so this is now revised for the contest and hopefully done the correct way! Also revised some of the beginning part.(revised again Sept. 23)

I smiled when we lay by a brook
beneath an oak. There was sweet shade.
You gave me

Snake On the Brain Revision

Today John McDain
Is in bad pain
The sirens could kill
But he escaped it, he will

He's at the doctor,
Who'll give him meds
And maybe just some
Comfortable beds

"There's something in his head."
The old, frail doctor said. 
"I can't find out what it is."
But what about the scarlet liz?

He looked and poked and pressed
Until he found a dent in his

Mr Honey Badger - Revision

Office manager Mr. Honey Badger called his administrative assistant Mr. Bloodhound into the office. Honey badger was extremely mad because he looked out of his office window and could see that the employees in the office were whispering and snickering and not working. Honey Badger told Bloodhound to go out and sniff out what was

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